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A Night Out With 6 Drunk Losers || Osomatsu San

Summary:

It called me. It called my name. It wanted me to make this.
So here we go ♥ BLmatsu is totally ahead bro, not sorry either :)

Work Text:

It was an Autumn night, brown leaves fell from the malting trees and the gentle breeze swept across Japan.The matsuno brother's decided to have a night off, getting drunk on a picnic under the stars seems like a 'smart' thing to do, or so they thought.

Osomatsu slammed his fists on the rug, giving a gradual laugh.

"Y-You know what Kara? I'm gonna buy you a sexy policeman outfit so you can jail me in that ass of yours.."
Karamatsu on the other hand was less drunk then most of his brothers. { Its actually cannon too! Well it seems cannon? tumblr_odn9p3awC81qlx3mco2_540.png See? } He looked over at Osomatsu with a look of disapproval.

"Burazzar-"

"DonT BuRAzZaR Me!" The drunk brother yelled. Choromatsu looked over at Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu, the two were having a dumb drunk conversation, Ichimatsu talking about 'pussies' while Jyushimatsu talked about shoving baseball bats up people's asses. He thought of intruding, but it didn't seem like it was appropriate.

"Hah! Thats going on Tumblr for sure!" Todomatsu sat in the corner, taking various photo's of each of the brothers. Choromatsu observed all of the brothers, although he was just as drunk as the rest were.

"ChORoMatSU!" Osomatsu drunkly yelled, everyone went silent. Choromatsu nervously turned around, staring deeply into Osomatsu's eyes.

"Wh-What is-"

"What'd be your stripper name...?"He rudely intruded. Karamatsu stood up, after a few more drinks, he was fully, if not more drunk then the rest of his dumb brothers.

"Osomatsu! I'm calling you 'Naughty Daddy' because I'm a policeman........" There was a short silence, although Karamatsu seemed like he still wanted to say something, He held the same pose for about a minute or so.

"......And I'm gonna JAIL that DICK of YOURS!" He drunkly emphasised. Osomatsu jumped up beside the slightly younger brother, pulling him closer by the hips.

" KARA! NOT In PuBliC yoU LOseR" He shouted louder, although he showed great affection to him. Jyushimatsu stood up shakily, unfocused and tripping like balls. He laughed hysterically and he pointed at Ichimatsu.

"ICHIMATSU! BE MY WIFE" he yelled, the rest of the brother watched him in amazement, Todomatsu started clapping, along with the rest of the drunk idiots joining in.

"GAY! GAY! GAY!" They all yelled and Jyushimatsu glomped ichimatsu, gently kissing him. Karamatsu laughed, smacking Osomatsu on the butt. The big brother let out a small whimper, before drunkly smiling at the blue clod.

"N-No-Not in public? " Osomatsu shrugged at his brother response. Choromatsu gulped, looking around at the remaining brother that was obviously to caught up in his social media to care.

"T-Totty...?" He questioned

"Not a chance Fappymatsu..." Choromatsu looked down grumpily, as the two older brothers started to deeply smooch, showing noticeable affection. At a brilliant moment, Todomatsu looked up from his phone and stood up.

"GUYS! I REALLY NEED TO FUCKING PEE" he yelled with great enthusiasm. Osomatsu stopped deep throating Karamatsu and bust out laughing

"YOU DRUNK FUCK, WHAT A GENIUS" he yelled

"E-Eh?" Karamatsu turned around to look at the younger brother. He seemed to be taking off his pants and LITERALLY pissing on the picnic rug.

"FUCKING SHIT TODOMATSU" Choromatsu yelled, pushing the 'peeing in action' brother.

{ YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THIS, IM DONE. IM FUCKING DONE. IM TIRED. IM SICK. I NEED SLEEP. AND PROBABLY SOME DRUGS WHILE I'M AT IT. BUT FUCK THIS IM DONE WITH LIFE. BYEEEEE }