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#ilyarozanovisoverparty

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troybarrett if u can read this im free on thurs @censational · Oct 23, 2022
Ilya Rozanov getting cancelled for having an Asian fetish was NOT on my 2022 bingo but here we are #ilyarozanovisoverparty

kari ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @pikesplacee · Oct 23, 2022
the question of “why shane hollander of all players” finally makes sense now I guess… #ilyarozanovisoverparty

vi @mooncatvi · Oct 23, 2022
you mean the hockey player I liked isn't a good person? 🥺 you mean the stripper doesn't love me? 🥺 #ilyarozanovisoverparty

Notes:

two weeks ago i posted this premise on tumblr. and since then, i was supposed to be working on another fic but one day i woke up and i was like. i have to make this into a fic. and then i wrote this in like 3 hours

this technically takes place in the same universe as the previous work in the series, shane hollander boy kisser confirmed! but you don't have to read that fic at all for this to make sense. only real continuity thing is that there are some easter eggs in terms of shared twitter posters of the universe lol and two references to "an interview from february" that's in ch 2 of boy kisser confirmed. all you really need to know about said interview in february is that shane got asked whether him marrying a white person is him trying to "assimilate" into white culture and ilya getting really mad and pointing out that whatever canada considers white culture isn't synonymous w russian culture

all my gc/hr fics take place in a hybrid space of book and tv show canon where we use the book team names and mostly book timeline but then some things are taken from the tv show like svetlana's characterization

deadmemewalking love u and kisses always

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

October 2022

r/rozanovsbabes · 1 yr ago
rozanovism MOD

[Mod Notice]

As of March 11 2021, Ilya has confirmed that he is in a long-term relationship with Captain Shane Hollander of the Montreal Voyageurs. In the past, the moderating team debated our policy on what to do with this subreddit should Ilya ever confirm he is in a relationship. Our decision was that we would keep the subreddit up unless he contacted us expressing discomfort, which he has not done so yet. For now, we will remain active. 

In light of the fact that Ilya has officially confirmed that he is bisexual, a few issues have arisen. We have officially decided to nix Rule 6, which previously stated that only those with female-identifying pronouns would be allowed to post to this subreddit. Our reasoning for implementing Rule 6 was simple: We wanted to prevent this subreddit from being the cause of any issues Ilya could potentially have with his home country of Russia, where promoting homosexuality is illegal and could have dangerous consequences on Ilya’s career. 

The moderating team would like to take the opportunity to apologize to any non-female identifying people who attempted to post to this subreddit about their experiences with Ilya, and had their post taken down according to Rule 6. In the interest of honesty, we will also admit that we interpreted most posts of this kind as being either malicious in attempting to defame Ilya’s character or simply attention-grabbing with no real substance. While our intentions were only to protect Ilya, we realize that we have participated in the kind of toxic heteronormative culture that silences the voices of LGBTQ+ people. From today onwards, all posts, regardless of gender identity of the poster’s experiences, will be allowed on this subreddit as long as they are in line with the other rules. 

The other topic we have debated over the past few days is whether a name change would be pertinent under the circumstances. As a Mod Team, we eventually concluded that “babe,” while used more commonly for women, is a gender neutral term, and thus still applicable. 

Archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast.

⬆ 2.5k ⬇   🗨430   ⛉   ➦ Share 

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r/rozanovsbabes · 2 days ago
moominsy

Is it just me or are there a lot more Asian women featured than average in this subreddit?

[Discussion]

Hi everyone, I [F28] hooked up with Ilya in the Spring of 2016 after Boston Calling. I’m Korean American and I’ll admit that I was shocked that Ilya had flirted with me that night, considering that I wasn’t exactly what I imagined to be his usual type (or the usual type of any European NHL player) — busty, blonde blue eyed white girl with highlights. I ended up only just now coming across this subreddit after a friend of mine who’s a Bears fan mentioned it to me. Like many others on this subreddit, I immediately became curious about whether or not there was a trend amidst the kind of women (or people, I guess now) that he hooked up with. While I’ve seen countless posts discuss how he has a thing for athletic/sporty women, or people who play a little hard to get (average man behavior tbh), or freckles (relatable luv me a man w freckles), I’ve seen almost no posts discuss what I feel like is the elephant in the room: race. 

Part of the reason for this, maybe, is that people assume that his type does match the traditional hockey player type. But going through the "Experience" flair, it’s become apparent to me that a good 40% of his hookups have been East Asian women. 40% doesn’t seem like a lot, maybe, but it is stark considering that 60% consists of all other races combined. While I didn’t do the calculations for every race, the next biggest racial category is White women at 30%. Taking the overall population statistics of Boston, and the US as well into account, Rozanov should be overwhelmingly hooking up with White women due to sheer majority (Asian women, and that includes South, South-East and Central Asian by the way, make up 3% of the U.S. population FYI). 

Maybe I’m reading too much into this as an East Asian growing up with stories of White men and their war brides and weaboos and koreaboos who move to Asia looking for cutesy girls and obedient wives…but…I can’t help but sideeye the whole Shane Hollander thing now. Like is this not giving White man weirdo with an Asian fetish?

⬆ 1.3K ⬇    🗨1.8K     🥇   ➦ Share 

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raid deez nuts @rozystick· Oct 22, 2022
reddit.com/r/rozanovsbabes/comments/618sgnd/is_it_just_me_or...
the rozanov puck bunny subreddit is debating whether or not ilya only married shane bc he’s into asian people…

hym @hollapussyagenda · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @rozystick
I was today years old when I found out there’s an ilya rozanov puck bunny subreddit 😭😭

anti ti ti ti fragile @wintries · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @hollapussyagenda
do we think shane has ever posted on there

doomed kfc yaoi @satosugurus · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @wintries
well if he did and he mentioned his gender his post definitely got taken down 💀 before the fanmail vid they used to have a rule that only women could post about having had an ~experience~ with ilya. hockey fans try not to be homophobic challenge impossible

willow⁸¹ @ridingforcentaurs  · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @satosugurus
and the fact that they claimed it was bc they were worried about queer allegations for ilya’s safety 💀💀 the mods def didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility that the strong sexy russian man of their fantasies is bi 

rumi hates college @rumiination · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @rozystick
have people actually read through the post? bc lowkey why is it kinda convincing…kinda raising questions…

bee @notamasshole · Oct 22, 2022
Replying to @rozystick
40%?? and he lived in Boston, with one of the whitest metro areas in the US? oh I just know bro’s dream vacation spots are tokyo and bangkok 

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troybarrett if u can read this im free on thurs @censational · Oct 23, 2022
Ilya Rozanov getting cancelled for having an Asian fetish was NOT on my 2022 bingo but here we are #ilyarozanovisoverparty

kari ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @pikesplacee · Oct 23, 2022
i guess the question of “why shane hollander of all players” finally makes sense now … #ilyarozanovisoverparty

vi @mooncatvi · Oct 23, 2022
obsessed with the hordes of people who genuinely thought ilya rozanov was their unproblematic fave
#ilyarozanovisoverparty

vi @mooncatvi · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @mooncatvi
you mean the hockey player I liked isn't a good person? 🥺  you mean the stripper doesn't love me? 🥺 

feng (she/her) @flowerfeng · Oct 23, 2022
tweets that aged like rotten milk😭😭 #ilyarozanovisoverparty

go sip girl @verticalaudacity · Mar 17, 2021
18 year old ilya rozanov saw “sexy twink asian males 👅 in your house TODAY” and thought, “hey don’t mind if i do”

Zara @hollanderunofficial · Oct 23, 2022
The Reddit post paired with the fact that Ilya settled down with one of only like 15 East Asian hockey players in the league…Oh Ilya baby this does not look good for you….

minji @minjiji · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @hollanderunofficial
and the fact that shane’s the only wasian one too? like this kinda gives “he’s asian enough to be my type but white enough so I don’t have to actually be culturally involved…”

cuz i ain’t no (hollanov) girl @hollanovisms  · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @minjiji
you are all DERANGED. have you all considered the fact that maybe he settled down with the guy he’s known almost half his life who was also shoved in his face as his rival by the league for over a decade? the only equal he’s ever had? and it had nothing to do with race?

Brandon @br4nd0n · Oct 23, 2022
Ilya Rozanov met a Japanese baddie at 17 and then played the long game to make him his waifu lowkey you gotta respect the game #ilyarozanovisoverparty

adrian chase fan account @vagilante · Oct 23, 2022
why does this always happen with the celebs I stan… #ilyarozanovisoverparty

sura | they/she cuz i could never be her @alhaithamsass · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @vagilante
who was the last celebrity you stanned??

adrian chase fan account @vagilante · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @alhaithamsass
oh armie hammer

sura | they/she cuz i could never be her @alhaithamsass · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @vagilante
sorry are you comparing ilya rozanov asian fetish to CANNIBALISM allegations???

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Owen @owenmalouf94 · Oct 23, 2022
even if rozanov does a thing for asians why is it a big deal lol. everyone has racial prefs whether we admit it or not. and it’s not even like the asian thing is that uncommon #ilyarozanovisoverparty

🏎️ @prrari16 · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @owenmalouf94
preferences is one thing, fetishizing an entire race is another

flop 🪐 | playing elden ring @shenlaosh1 · Oct 23, 2022
Replying to @prrari16
ok hot take even racial preferences are super weird #sorry 

jules @rozynov81 · Oct 23, 2022
Despite my sincerest hopes…it turns out Ilya Rozanov was indeed just another gross scummy white man…? #ilyarozanovisoverparty

amelie🌷 @voyagingforvoyageurs · Oct 23, 2022
someone figure out if ilya rozanov watches anime stat #ilyarozanovisoverparty

callum @c411um · Oct 23, 2022
bro watched tokyo drift and wanted to know how they live in tokyo 🤣 #ilyarozanovisoverparty

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brian
@centaurzz · Oct 24, 2022
why are we doing racial analyses on who hockey players date like ts is actually none of our business 

layla | postcolonially hungover @soulayla · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to @centaurzz
I agree mostly and I think the asian fetish allegations are overstated but I don’t think it’s wrong for us to note these patterns and reflect on their sociocultural implications. like there’s a reason why nhl players tend to go for blondes and there’s a reason why blonde women are valourized in an unique way within Western culture

Ying⋆˚✿˖° @pickingonpike · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to @soulayla
are they overstated though?? like OP in that post pointed out, 40% specifically east asian women is kind of a crazy figure

Mikhail @mikeehl423 · Oct 24, 2022
I have said this before. Rozanov is not white, he is Russian. Russian people are not white #ilyarozanovisoverparty 

brian @centaurzz · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to mikeehl423
brother this didn't make sense then and it doesn't make sense now

Mikhail @mikeehl423 · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to @centaurzz
Only to your stupid Western minds 

gaslight gatekeep girlboss @fujolara · Oct 24, 2022
Am I only person doubting OP’s methodology for #ilyarozanovisoverparty? like did girl go through every single fucking post w the experience flair on that subreddit to find this info and if so does she have a life? that’s 500+ posts easy

moomin fan account @moominsy · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to @fujolara
Hi, I’m OP from the OG post. Because they ask you to add identity markers like race and job etc about yourself if you want to discuss your “experience,” I simply searched racial or ethnic keywords (“Asian,” “Taiwanese,” etc) and then generated a rough estimate based on that. Obviously the number isn’t perfect by any means, especially since there’s quite a few people who deigned not to add any racial info, but it was enough for the point I wanted to bring up. 

Sam Harrison @samharrison1 · Oct 24, 2022  
Replying to @moominsy
Wait why do they require you to add info about your race and job on your post? This feels like doxxing 101?

kris💥 @hockeynov · Oct 24, 2022
Replying to @samharrison1
bc the crazy puck bunnies of the world want to be ilya rozanov’s type soooo bad 

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CUP WINNERS 🏒🥅‼️

Young: so like. are we talking about that reddit post…or…

Haas: 😭😭 i can’t believe u brought it up

Young: someone had to! there’s no way rozy or hollzy doesn’t get asked it about next game

Holmberg: especially after that interview from february

Bood: What are you all on about? What reddit post?

Holmberg: how are you all on the same internet we are

Barrett: Harris muted his notifs since we were staying with his family for the weekend, but we just read it together and holy shit 

Barrett: He may be bluescreening right now

Bood: Just looked it up. Wow. Just wow. 

Dykstra: Sorry, did you all know there’s a subreddit dedicated to the women Rozy’s fucked?

Bood: **People

Dykstra: Sorry, yeah people

Chouinard: I didn’t but I’m not surprised at all. 

Barrett: I think Kent tried to make something similar for himself but it only got like two posts a year.

Bood: Lol

Dykstra: I can’t believe there are people who care enough about who Rozy has slept with to do a racial analysis of it. This is psycho behaviour

Barrett: Agreed. And I just don’t understand the purpose? 

Young: i assume the purpose is the girls of boston trying to find out what cap likes so he’ll fuck them too

Holmberg: or fuck them again!

Young: true

Haas: this is very disturbing

Dykstra:  aww Haasy are you jealous you don’t have a post here 

Bood: Considering that Luca was still underage the year Rozy and Hollzy became an official couple I would hope not

Hollander-R: What reddit post?

___

 

[Missed Call from Farah Jalali]

[Voicemail from Farah Jalali] 

Hi Shane, this is Farah. I assume you and Ilya found out about the reddit post already, if not by yourself, from one of your teammates. I understand that you might not want to talk right now, but I remember your reaction to the interview from February, and I think if we want to get ahead of this narrative, we should plan to talk about this sooner rather than later. Can you and Ilya give me a call later today? 

[Call with Farah Jalali; Duration: 23:28]

[Facetime Call with Farah Jalali, Harris Drover, and Yuna Hollander; Duration: 37:15]

___


PuckShot: Viral Reddit Post Accuses Ilya Rozanov of Having an Asian Fetish, Causes Trending Twitter Tag #ilyarozanovisoverparty

#ilyarozanovisoverparty, and why we need to talk about race in hockey

Rozanov’s Brother Speaks Out: “I always knew he was a sexual deviant” 

___


[Ring]

Hayden? What up? 

Hi, Shane

What's up? Are Jackie and the kids okay?

No, no, they’re fine, I just wanted to ask. How you’re doing. With…everything

Oh the ridiculous rumours? Yeah, we just had a 40 minute call with my mom, Farah, and Harris on this. We’ve decided to just sweep it under the rug with “No comment” for now if the media brings it up during Tuesday’s game. My mom thinks we’ll need a longer statement at some point but I think it’s pretty unlikely. I mean, come on, anyone with a brain knows this stuff is nonsense.

…Is it?

What? Hayden, sorry, you think Ilya has a fucking Asian fetish too?

Well— not necessarily—

I can’t fucking believe this


Look, fetish is a strong word. It wouldn’t be so surprisingly if he had a…thing for Asians…a lot of people…have that

It sounds like you’re the one with the Asian fetish

Ew! Gross

Wow Pike, calling Asian people gross? Did not know you were racist in this way. 

Shut the fuck up Rozanov why are you listening in on our conversations

[snorts] There is no listening in you are on speaker phone in our living room

Shane!

Well sorry I thought you might be calling to catch up and not to accuse my husband of only marrying me because of my race

Honestly Pike, you thinking this way is very suspicious. Did you also only marry Jackie because she is white?

No— I mean— a little maybe?— I mean—no! Jackie’s race has nothing to do with how I feel about her! Except maybe that she wouldn’t be so good at Italian cooking if it weren’t for her grandmother

Ignorant! Yuna’s chicken parmesan is best in world and she is 0% Italian. 

Okay I’m going to hang up since this conversation is going nowhere. Hope everything’s good with you Hayden. Give my love to the family. 

Give my love to your parents and absolute disgust to Rozanov 

Aww Pike you shouldn’t have!

[Click]

___


SportsDaily: Post-Game Interview with the Ottawa Centaurs, October 25, 2022

Reporter: Shane, can you comment about the recent allegations about your husband?

Shane: No comment. 

Reporter: Really, you have nothing to say about the accusations that your husband only married you because you’re one of the only Asian hockey players? 

Shane: No comment. 

Reporter: Shane, how does your racial identity shape—

Shane: No comment. Does anyone in this room have a question about the game we just won? 

 

___


Ilya [Husband]:
Saw the interview. I’m so sorry moya lyubov

Shane❤️: I’m so fucking mad right now

Shane❤️: I fucking hate when they ask me shit like this. Why the fuck does it matter what race I am or you are or anything about my life off the ice? 

Ilya [Husband]: I know sweetheart I know

Shane❤️: And where the fuck are you anyway

Ilya [Husband]: Harris called me in to discuss this situation

Ilya [Husband]: And I think probably to stop me from doing something stupid like punching that reporter in his stupid face

Shane❤️: Well I’m glad you didn’t do that. That would have just made things worse

Shane❤️: “Shane! Shane! How do you feel about the fact that your husband isn’t just an Asian fetishizer, but a violent criminal!”

Ilya [Husband]: Is not crime if they deserve it

Shane❤️: I don’t think that’s how it works Ilya

___

 

:( @itssooverkitten · Oct 25, 2022
did you all see Shane’s face? I feel so bad for him watching that interview 

bri @brilarpson  · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @itssooverkitten
that’s the face of a man who is rethinking his marriage

sofi |📍nyc @admiringskip · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @itssooverkitten
if I found out over a year into our marriage that my husband had a secret fetish for my race idk how I’d cope w that like what do you even do at that point 

shane's lawyer @holladefender · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @itssooverkitten
i bet ilya forces shane to bottom and act out his sick twisted fantasies doesn't he...

gaslight gatekeep girlboss @fujolara · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @holladefender
1) we've never gotten confirmation of their sexual dynamics so assuming is weird 2) you all truly just say shit just to say shit don't you. no brain in your heads just bones rattling around

proshippers dni @wolfstarskies · Oct 25, 2022
my thing is, the asian fetish is like. whatever. but did he have to be so public about it? if I was Shane I’d be so humiliated and embarrassed right now #ilyarozanovisoverparty

divya @divyadiesalittle · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @wolfstarskies
well if I were hollander I wouldn’t have married the guy who has an entire subreddit dedicated to his puck bunnies in the first place but clearly we have very different standards for men 

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kenzo @poutinethebox · Oct 25, 2022
everyone saying “poor shane” this and that is so funny to me bc there’s no way HE doesn’t have a white people fetish. they’re made for each other #ilyarozanovisoverparty

Luke @lukealittle · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @poutinethebox
?? is that a thing? i don’t think that’s a thing?? 

girl in red listener @wlwahoo · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @poutinethebox
sorry WHAT would lead you to believe that Shane Hollander has a white people fetish

kenzo @poutinethebox · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @wlwahoo
…the fact that every single person he’s been romantically linked to has been white??

girl in red listener @wlwahoo · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @poutinethebox
all 2 of them?? ilya and rose landry??

kenzo @poutinethebox · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @wlwahoo
plus his girlfriend(s?) in high school 

girl in red listener @wlwahoo · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @poutinethebox
oh sorry you’re right. all 4 of them. that really proves something about a guy who lives and works exclusively in two majority white nations

Lola @hpsh24 · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @wlwahoo
*5 you forgot about hayden

willow⁸¹ @ridingforcentaurs · Oct 25, 2022
Replying to @hpsh24
you choosing the ilya rozanov potentially cancelled for racial crimes moment to promote shayden is really…something

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pri 🕊️ @prisworld · Oct 26, 2022
ok but can we discuss the svetlana vetrova of it all? #ilyarozanovisoverparty

sheep @weaverthey · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @prisworld
bro wdym 

pri 🕊️ @prisworld · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @weaverthey
well for years she was the only girl Ilya was regularly linked to. and she’s not asian

🐸 @henderman · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @prisworld
sorry are we now saying Ilya has a black women fetish

jay @pucktalk · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @henderman
next thing u know it’s gonna come out surprise surprise! ilya rozanov just likes people, regardless of their race! 

minding my business @hollapikerstrike · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @prisworld
ok wait between svetlana and shane…have we considered that rozanov has a biracial kink? 

___

🎭🏒🚘💰

Svetlana: Lmaoooo twitter.com/status/hollapikerstrike...

Svetlana: Maybe u do have a biracial kink @Ilya

Ilya: Please stop texting these things before my husband has a heart attack

Ilya: I would like to have sex with him tonight

Rose: this whole thing is so funny to me

Rose: like there’s a very obvious answer that explains all of this meanwhile the internet is coming up with the most outlandish theories you can think of

Svetlana: And you’re surprised?

Rose: disappointed mostly, in humanity

Shane: …I hate to admit it but I’ve thought about the biracial thing before

Svetlana: LMAO what 

Ilya: Sorry, you, my husband, light of my life, sunshine in my clouds, fleshlight to my dildo

Shane: Really feeling the romance right now.

Ilya: You thought I have a kink for biracial people

Ilya: You are telling our friends I have a kink for biracial people

Shane: That’s not what I said! Or meant!

Shane: I just…noticed this one similarity between Svetlana and me. And vaguely thought about the chance that you ended up best friends with what I imagined was one of the few biracial women in Russia and ended up dating one of the few biracial men in the NHL. 

Shane: It honestly just made me think you were probably less racist than the average white guy. Which you are

Ilya: Your opinion of me warms my heart. Keep saying saying such sweet things

Shane: I genuinely hate you sometimes

Ilya: Like that ❤️

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Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
It seems I have to speak on some silly rumours, because my husband is refusing to cuddle me until I do, and this cannot stand

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
When I was 17 I met this Canadian hockey player (worse than me) in middle of fuck nowhere Canada. He was half-asian, yes, but more importantly, he was very boring. So boring that his first words to me were to nag me about my smoking. And then he shook my hand twice in our conversation.

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
Understandably, I fell in love instantly. I could not stop thinking about this, when I lived in Russia, and when I moved to America. In the next 9 years, I was with many women. Hundreds, even millions, more women than the centuries Scott Hunter has lived on this earth 

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
Despite all these women, however, I simply could not stop thinking about this stupid hockey player with beautiful freckles. Often, I wanted to distract myself from him, so I wanted to be with women who looked very different from him, so I could not think of him at all

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
Other times, I missed him, I wanted to be with him so dearly, I sought out women who reminded me of him. Looking back, I understand this was a wrong thing to do. These women deserved better than for me to think of someone else. However, a future with this man felt so impossible, so hopeless at the time. Everyday, I am grateful it was not.

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81 · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
So to end discussion once and for all, does Ilya Rozanov have an Asian fetish? No. Ilya Rozanov has a Shane Hollander fetish. 

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booboo the fool @cinnacin · Oct 26, 2022
soooo all yall managed to uncover is that Ilya has a kink for his own husband. mmm yea this was a very productive use of our collective time

willow⁸¹ @ridingforcentaurs · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @cinnacin
average day as a hollanov fan tbh

soy 💌 @soysaucers · Oct 26, 2022
I went back to that subreddit and guys…pretty much all the asian women rozanov slept with have brown eyes and freckles…oh that man was generationally down bad

mira🧣 (taylor’s version) @atw10min · Oct 26, 2022
Replying to @soysaucers
ok that’s a relief tbh bc “asian man broke my heart so I started sleeping with asian women” still isn’t really a great narrative…it kinda gives all asian people look the same…but if it’s ppl who looked like his husband  aside from being asian that’s less weird

hollanov yuri <3 @yurimylife · Oct 26, 2022
ppl kept asking me to speak on this issue lol but what would my, random twitter user’s, opinions have contributed to any of this lol. i feel a lesson we all must learn is that we don’t always have to speak

hattie 🧸 @yaoionice · Oct 26, 2022
scott hunter stray amidst the most romantic thing you’ve ever read he’s so insane(ly beloved) for this

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Dorian @guardiansftww  · Oct 27, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
You have NOT slept with a million women be so fr right now

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81  · Oct 27, 2022
Replying to @guardiansftww
You are right. Is more like a billion 

Ashleyyy 🌸 @rozyschick · Oct 27, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
wanna make it a billion and 1 babe 💋

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81  · Oct 27, 2022
Replying to @rozyschick
No.

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[Missed call from Harris Drover] 

___

 

Yuna Hollander @yunahollanderofficial   · Oct 28, 2022
Ilya may have only ever had Shane in his heart but Shane was certainly thinking about other Russian men named Ilya…. <2819.heic>
[Attached, a digitized photo of from Shane’s childhood, where he is clutching a poster of Russian secret agent Illya Kuryakin from The Man from U.N.C.L.E (1964), obviously refusing to let go of it for the photo] 

troybarrett if u can read this im free on thurs @censational · Oct 28, 2022
so much discourse about ilya and we never considered the very real possibility that shane hollander has a thing for russians 

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81  · Oct 28, 2022
Replying to @censational
Is obvious 😏

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer  · Oct 28, 2022
Replying to @rozanov81
…No comment.

Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81  · Oct 28, 2022
Replying to @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
#shanehollanderisoverparty

Notes:

i didn’t make an oxford study reference here bc it would have been anachronistic to when the term first became popular (early 2024) but i need you all to know I was fighting so hard. so hard. i think i used the word fetish so many times it’s not real to me as a word anymore

for anyone who read the endnotes of boy kisser, I still do have my more serious fic addressing shane’s relationship (and lack thereof) with his ethnic identity and how Ilya fits into all of it planned…wanted this to be a more lighthearted (albeit more infuriating bc it’s a socmed au lol) take on sociocultural identity discourse before I really delved into the weeds of what it means to be asian in north america over a time period where the conversation surrounding asian culture in the cultural zeitgeist has changed so much. gayatri spivak I think of you and can the subaltern speak in everything I write. and ofc mr foucault of ‘what we think of as truth is in and itself a manifestation of power, and all identities of the self are fundamentally constructed through domination and discourse’ fame

ok more notes:
  • before people ask I know most of russia is in asia i know there are russians who identity as asian i know. but i think it can be safely assumed that most everyone in this fic are north americans talking to other north americans with north american conceptions of race. case in point, pretty much everyone here is using asian as synonymous with east asian people specifically as is common in NA (in the uk, for example, asian generally refers to south asian people)
  • would there be an entire active subreddit dedicated to the puck bunnies of a single nhl player. ofc not. but heated rivalry/game changers and particularly its fanfiction is seemingly set in a universe where hockey is somehow Very Important to the world (thinking about that quote from game changer that’s like “everyone in new york knew who scott hunter was” that makes me crack up every time. i personally dk a single new yorker who could even name the irl ny hockey teams, let alone their captains). so suspension of disbelief quite necessary <3
  • the man from u.n.c.l.e (1964) reference was so self-indulgent (i swear i am in my 20s and not 75) but i need you to know that when i first got into heated rivalry i was like wow blond snarky russian men named il(l)ya shipped with dark-haired north american men is apparently a continuing motif in my life. shane’s definitely too young to have watched the og tv show of his own accord, but i like to imagine his boomer parents made him watch it as a child like mine did
  • shane having Ilya saved as Ilya [Husband] is based on people I know who have their contacts saved with the relationship in brackets next to the name in case of an emergency…i feel like shane would be the type. shane in the text gc on biraciality is based on me after svetlana got casted and i texted my friend “wow ilya rozanov is living the white boy dream surrounded by biracial baddies where he goes”
  • i know a lot of fics will have ilya texting in lowercase bc he's chronically online and that's what we all do now but i actually feel Very Strongly that like most millennials i know, including the chronically online and the court jesters, he never turned autocaps off and thinks the socmed lowercase tendency is a tad silly and performative. this is why in all the texts in my fic most ppl i hc to be born before idk 1996ish text with uppercase letters. rose is one of the exceptions and that's bc her cool la / hollywood friends probably dig the performance of chill lowercase regular ppl texting
  • edit: since some people in the comments brought it up, boston being called the "whitest city/metro area" by that one tweeter is mostly based on my experience of living there and everyone speaking as if it's uniquely really white compared to other east coast cities [i looked into it and if you take the city limits proper, it's middle-of-the-pack but it DOES have one of whitest metro areas]

as always pls flag any errors or mistakes you notice! you might note that i switch between american spelling and british/canadian spelling of words a lot throughout the fic; this is 100% intentional and is meant to be based on nationality of the tweeter! went back and forth about what spelling ilya would use but then decided to make him do what i do as a similar transnationally hybridized person which is use british and american spelling interchangeably with no specific rhyme or reason beyond vibes

tysm for reading <3 replying to comments gets overwhelming sometimes but please know i do read them all and appreciate them so dearly! my tumblr if you'd like to share further thoughts

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