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Summary
While suffering from his line's obsession with gold Thorin Oakenshield rashly makes an agreement with the Shire's Thain that results in him having to marry one of the hobbit's relatives.
Needless to say he isn't pleased, but cunningly picks Bilbo Baggins to be his consort in revenge against the Thain. For his part Bilbo decides to accept the proposal, though Thorin will be quite surprised to find out why.
Note: I have screwed around with ages, geography and timelines to suit me. You have been warned.
