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Hatchets Un-Buried, or, Cassie Malfoys Adventures in Government-Mandated Homewrecking by ConstantlyPurpLexed
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Dec 2024
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Summary
“I’m sorry, let me see if I can get this right - seven hundred years ago, the Lord Malfoy signed a deal with Lord Weasley, specifically just to fuck him over. Knowing full well that House Malfoy will only ever be born sons, he promised a daughter that would never exist - but when I finally had my name legally changed yesterday, suddenly I fill the role of this promised daughter? And now, due to the treaty signed by two men dozens of generations ago, I am legally obligated to marry the fucking Weasel?”
The ministry stooge nodded, his fat, sweaty face lightening into a relieved grin. “Yes, thats exactly right Miss Malfoy, I’m glad you’ve managed to be so understanding.”
From her left side, a quick inhale drew her attention, and she turned to meet the eyes of one Ronald Billious Weasley. He looked her up and down, blinking rapidly, then cocked his head to the side. Those rusty tumblers started spinning, and something approaching an original thought clunked its way through.
“...Draco?”
“My name is Cassiopeia,” she said numbly, lightheaded, frustrated, and already quite done with the day. “And I want a divorce.”
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Summary
Sophia isn't running, regardless of how much you might think so. She just - needs a fresh start. A new city, a new life, a new person; she just needs the space to figure that out. Promise.
As if.
A broken marriage; a vengeful heroine; a city unaware of the monster in its depths. New faces, new places, new enemies - same old problems. New York is shit out of luck, if they're counting on Private Investigator Sophia Hess to solve their problems.
After all - she's nobody's hero.
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An AU Worm story, set in 2023; all characters have aged up to follow suit. As far as this story is concerned, Scion, Cauldron, and the Endbringers never existed. We're here to keep things street level, where characters have a chance to shine without needing to be overshadowed by vast alien gods or world-ending monsters.
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Everybody Wants to Be Us by ConstantlyPurpLexed, hellgodsrus
Fandoms: Supergirl (TV 2015)
05 Oct 2023
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Summary
Kara was the daughter of scientists and leaders, the family of generals and the descendant of kings; thousands of generations past, when Krypton was ruled by a monarchy and not a council. She hadn’t come all this way, lost this much, spent decades trapped in that tiny pod just to smile meekly and fit in. She was the last daughter of Krypton, and she would not do her mother, her father, her aunt, her uncles, her friends, classmates, grandparents, her people the disrespect of forgetting where she had come from.
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Kara is three months and twenty four years away from a tragedy when she is asked to forget her family. She is one of two remaining Kryptonians alive when she is told to put her upbringing behind her; she is the last living follower of ehnai'Rao to exist in the galaxy when she is told to smile and fake at humanity.
She is thirteen and twenty seven; alone and surrounded by people who want the best for her; responsible for the wellbeing of a man twice her age. She is the first and last and only person who knows what it means to bear the name Zor-El.
Kara is told to become human.
She tells them no.
Series
- Part 1 of House El Incorporated
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Can't get you out of my head by ConstantlyPurpLexed
Fandoms: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
21 Aug 2023
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Summary
Ravager and Mouse Protector talk out loud for the first time since Bonesaw decided they'd be better together.
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Summary
Sophia is fine. Totally, totally fine. So being a hero has lost all its luster, and she's being ground under the media machine? Thats fine. She cant deal with it. Her family life is a shattered wreck that her mom is desperately trying to hold together with hope and delusion? sure, no problem! She feels completely adrift, with no clue what to do with her life? Hell yeah, she's okay with that.
Taylor Hebert is really fucking hot now?
Somehow, she can't deal with that one.
Well, its not like anything could come of that, could it?
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A Worm College-age AU. Fluff, angst, smut, and lots and lots of bdsm. Be prepared.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 35,945
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 37
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Kara cradles her pile of dirty plates. She doesn’t know how to open Lena’s brand new dishwasher without ripping the handle apart. She usually figures these things out through trial and error, but she’s never been alone in Lena’s apartment, and she can’t risk winging it in front of her.
So, she just stands by the sink and watches the hot water redden Lena’s sensitive skin, the light glinting off her beautiful earrings, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.The verse comes to her, unbidden, from one of their weekly poems. Lena always chooses poems with such physicality to them. Always real, touchable.
---Or: Kara is an alien, Lena is a genius. Their strangeness separates and connects them to the world and each other in peculiar ways. Being human in Lena’s eyes allows Kara to tap into parts of herself she hadn’t been able to explore before, but she knows her secret will one day stop being a bridge between them, and they’ll both lose the version of Kara Lena has grown to love. (Tender slow burn, mutual respect, bittersweetness and tentative physicality galore! Some angst and a lot of joy)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,014
- Chapters:
- 6/9
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,129
- Kudos:
- 2,234
- Bookmarks:
- 643
- Hits:
- 56,244
Bookmarked by ConstantlyPurpLexed
16 Aug 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
When I need to be reminded what safe feels like.
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Summary
Harry returns for an eighth year following the end of the war and realises that although he's put his own animosity towards Malfoy aside, no one else seems to have done the same. When a hex leaves his oldest rival in the body of a female and ridicule doubles, Harry discovers that his hero complex is a difficult thing to fight.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 142,800
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 1,259
- Kudos:
- 8,830
- Bookmarks:
- 2,410
- Hits:
- 272,903
Bookmarked by ConstantlyPurpLexed
24 Oct 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
I need to reread this when I need warm fuzzys

