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“Listen, Cipher,” Ford growls, “because I am about to make something very, very clear.”
He moves away from the machine and steps up to Bill, poking him pointedly in his naked chest.
“You and I are through,” he says. “Whatever… whatever partnership we had before died the day you threatened my home and my family.”
He grabs both sides of Bill’s shirt in one fist so he can yank him in close, look into his wide, wide eye.
“So you can keep begging, keep manipulating, keep manhandling me, but the results will all be the same,” he declares, “because I will never sleep with you again. Ever."
Two hours later, Ford finds himself bent over the bathroom sink as Bill fucks him from behind.
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Also known as five times Ford and Bill have sex and one time they don'tSeries
- Part 1 of Wastin' Away in Margaritaville
Bookmarked by acedormouse
21 Feb 2026
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"Come on a normal human date with me, and I'll let your family go."
At the end of the line and the end of his rope, Ford is faced with an enticing offer.
He just wishes Bill had better taste in bars.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
21 Feb 2026
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“My vengeance shall be vengeance itself. Your cruelty, selfishness, and violence shall seal your fate in time. My curse shall stalk you to the grave and beyond. It shall hang around your neck like a noose, tightening with every act of evil you inflict on the world. Vengeance shall lead to your death and your spirit will find no rest. Death will bring no kindness or relief. You shall burn with the spirit of vengeance itself. Vengeance shall define you in the end. And you shall have no one to blame, but yourself.”
Jimmy Snakes did not believe in curses, so the crazy old woman's words were immediately forgotten. And they certain did not change his behavior. Besides, later that day he found something far more interesting. A homeless eighteen-year-old that was so desperate for praise and affection that he could do anything that he wanted to him and he would keep crawling back to Jimmy just so he didn't have to be alone.
Good thing he didn't believe in curses. Because Jimmy had no intention of holding back on what he wanted. Not with his crew, his various crimes, on strengthening his reputation, and especially not with the warm body under him in bed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,458
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 19
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Bookmarked by acedormouse
20 Feb 2026
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Stan frowned. "You're alone out here. As far as I know, you got nowhere to go, else you'd have gone there already. You're cold, and hungry, and not in fighting shape."
Ford threw a half-hearted glare at him. "That's not-"
"Missing the point!" Stan pulled him closer, desperately. "Ford, if you send me away, you're gonna be dealing with this guy alone. And I can't let you do that."
Ford tried to shove him off, twisting in his grip. "That doesn't matter!"
"Yes, it does!"
"Why?! The fate of the-"
"Because I CARE ABOUT YOU, dammit!"
OR: Ford's 72 hours are up, and a certain... "friend" is on the way.
Heavily inspired by TBOB and a gazillion other "it happened different in the 80s" fics. Here's my take.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
07 Feb 2026
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Ford has been making good progress on the portal, Bill has been making good progress on getting in the way, they both are making no progress on understanding each other.
Booze won’t make a lick of difference whether someone's rim gets salty, but hey – they’re already on the rocks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,130
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 35
- Kudos:
- 123
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 1,005
Bookmarked by acedormouse
10 Jan 2026
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Their courtship was sweet.
Their marriage is even sweeter.
Fiddleford frankly can’t get enough of his wife, but even still, he’s incredibly responsible with himself in their intimate life. He’s never been too bold after all.
So what is he left to do when their last condom breaks and the young couple is left hot and bothered in the hayloft?
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Basically everyone’s a coward, here’s some content of Fiddleford and his hot wife because every sweet nerd deserves a loving partner. Essentially it’s Emma-May, but Fidds only refers to her with pet names to keep it (x) reader friendly :PBookmarked by acedormouse
01 Jan 2026
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units of measurement by ratsplendor for freshtrash, deranged anon
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
22 Jun 2025
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Some asses were just made for pounding; unfortunately, God did not see fit to give you the requisite equipment for this when you were spawned. Commercial variants fail to give you the experience you're looking for. Luckily for you, you have a very determined genius at your beck and call.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
24 Dec 2025
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come on baby, let me see what you're hiding underneath by enbyzombies
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
08 Jul 2024
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“I uh. I’m– my–,” he starts to stumble, but stops and shakes his head. He’s clearly telling himself to just get it over with, because the next words out of his mouth are direct and to the point, “I have a micropenis.”
You almost laugh– it comes out as a surprised exhale through your nose. Not because of the confession, definitely not because it’s funny– more because it’s probably the last thing you expected to hear.
or, You find out why Ford is so hesitant to go further with you- and decide to dissuade any fears he might have.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
14 Dec 2025
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Fiddleford and Stanford spend a slow winter morning together.
OR
Sometimes Fiddleford just wants to get squished flat.Bookmarked by acedormouse
20 Nov 2025
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After a long, tough year, Stan and Fiddleford successfully retrieve Ford from the multiverse. It just might be easier to tear down an interdimensional portal than to rebuild any sense of stability between them.
Might.
Series
- Part 2 of love by the milligram
Bookmarked by acedormouse
20 Nov 2025
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It is a really, really bad idea to let your boyfriend's weird demon side piece share your body. Even for sex reasons. Even just once.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
20 Nov 2025
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While Ford clearly enjoyed himself during sex, he hadn’t quite let himself fall apart like Fiddleford has. He can't seem to let go of that leading presence.
Today, that changes.
Or
Ford's keyed up, and Fiddleford notices.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
28 Oct 2025
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What are Bill and Fidds to do when they both want the same thing? Luckily for Ford, his muse is awfully fond of making a deal.
~~~
“My muse,” he began cautiously. He studied Fiddleford’s face for signs of distress. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t go possessing anyone after the last incident.” Flickers of Summerween chaos played in his memories–screaming children running in terror, a golden-eyed teenager calling out from behind. The town had nearly instigated a Witch Hunt as a result.
“No, we agreed I wouldn’t hijack anyone. Your little redneck agreed to this. Didn’t you, Specs?”
Bookmarked by acedormouse
19 Sep 2025
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what if the call from the book of bill went through, and Stan comes to the cabin to find Ford standing on his roof, bleeding and barely conscious?
title from "minor holiday" by sparkbird
Bookmarked by acedormouse
18 Sep 2025
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i can't put these on tumblr because it's literally just porn so i'm putting them here
enjoy it because i know you freaks want to see it
sometimes the pictures break, i think it might be a thing with my image hosting siteBookmarked by acedormouse
17 Aug 2025
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Ford gazed into the pupil between his hands. He hadn't noticed the nictitating membrane–a sheath of clear tissue, rough and gooey like the skin of a fish, protecting the delicate organ underneath. That made some kind of sense. It had an iridescent sheen to it, glinting off the top of the otherwise pure blackness. Under the spell that told him it was breathtaking–that his god was no less than immaculate–he had a much realer thought. The thought that it was beautiful. Strange and alien, the way he'd compliment a rare deep-sea animal. He shuddered.
OR: Good old-fashioned Bill wins, featuring mind control.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
16 Aug 2025
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Say you've always had a thing for your old college roommate (and by "a thing," you mean "in love in a way that's illegal in most states"). And say the demon he's loaned his body out to like a car is now coming on to you because he (the demon) wants to fuck up your life, forever. And say his journal happens to absolve the demon (and you, probably) of flagrant sodomy because he's fine with this, for some reason.
Say the demon's right when he says, in your roommate's voice, that this is as close to him as you'll ever get.
It's wrong on so many levels. But Fiddleford has been a sinner for a damn long time. Maybe it's for the best, anyway. At least, that's one among a thousand lies he tells himself to justify it.
Series
- Part 1 of rskt 2024
Bookmarked by acedormouse
13 Aug 2025
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“In the name of knowledge,” Ford says, breathing heavily.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
08 Aug 2025
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When Ford summons Bill back into his mind after a particularly needy wet dream, the two of them decide to strike an agreement. They may be mortal enemies, but there's no reason they can't still fool around and get nasty with it. It's just sex; no strings attached.
Well… besides the one binding them physically, mentally, and emotionally, of course.
Bookmarked by acedormouse
03 Aug 2025
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“What do you mean ‘what’? You told me you were lonely lately, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you didn’t realize what this was for…” Of course. He should have realized a workaholic like Ford wouldn’t recognize the eroticism of summoning a demon by candlelight and devotion. Bill rubbed above his eye. “You read the incantation, Sixer. What did you think it meant? That we were just gonna hang out?”
Bookmarked by acedormouse
19 Jul 2025