cabloom
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[Podfic] snipers solve 99% of all problems by cabloom, quietnight
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Sep 2025
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Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
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He takes a deep breath and sighs it all out again. It's easier to do this without having to see her face. “It's my birthday,” he confesses.
To her credit, she doesn't immediately respond with some inanity about it being a happy occasion. It's never been particularly happy for Sanji. Not before he met Zeff and the two of them sort of inadvertently adopted each other, and not after, when it was nothing but a reminder of a painful past he'd rather have forgotten.
“Birthdays can be difficult,” she says, instead.
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“Never done this before, have you? Nice girl like you, course you been saving it.”
“Oh fucking shit.”
Sanji tuts. “Nice girls don’t talk like that, Zoro.”
The ship is becalmed and everyone is asleep except our boys. A story in which Zoro is demanding, hands are sexy, and Sanji might be catching feelings despite himself.
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Zoro can’t believe he's here, getting wasted with the greatest swordsman the world has ever known. So far.
They're several bottles in, and Zoro has taken up residence on the barstool next to him, matching him glass for glass, feeling the watery frills of that red shirt brush against his bare forearm every time he moves. The room has started gently spinning, the booze is strong, but the other man is watching him with something like grudging respect every time he finishes another glass of the stuff, so it's worth it.
This is great. He's going to get such a good grade in Dracule Mihawk.
So why can't he stop thinking about the damn cook?
Our intrepid crew finally reach Loguetown, where adventure - and danger - awaits them.
A fic in which Zoro is moping, Sanji is trying not to fall so hard he hurts himself, and Dracule Mihawk is the world's least willing relationship counsellor.
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“I’m not a pushover,” Zoro says, because this is important. He needs Sanji to know this. “I don’t let anyone tell me what to do, normally.” Before - before Luffy. And Zoro hadn’t realised that he was waiting for this, for someone to come along who was worthy of being his captain and commanding his loyalty. He didn’t realise how it would settle him, right to his core, like the weight of a perfectly balanced sword in his hand.
“Believe me,” Sanji says, “I know.”
“I’m not weak.”
He laughs. “No fucking shit. Some day I swear you’re going to cut the goddamn ocean in half.”
Zoro huffs a little laugh of his own and settles further into Sanji’s grip, a tension he didn’t realise he was carrying dissipating from his shoulders.
“I like it,” he admits, quietly. “I like that it hurts.”
Sanji’s eyes are softer than Zoro’s ever seen them. “I know that, too,” he says.
Series
Recent series
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Violetsmith: Oblivious Kinky Disaster Gays by cabloom
Fandom One Piece (Live Action TV 2023)
26 Aug 2025
- Words:
- 218
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Over the Threshold by greaterglow
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
27 Nov 2025
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Satoru was a collection of unexpected contradictions bundled into a person — just like his music, Suguru realised. He was beautiful always, but he sought out ugliness in his lyrics, in his composition, in his performance — and somehow he made it work. The notion that Satoru should limit himself by being less noisy, less energetic, less audacious, just less in every way? In spite of everything, Suguru found that nothing upset him more.
Exactly when had he fallen in love with Gojō Satoru?
Larger than life K-pop idol, Satoru, approaches introverted record producer, Getō Suguru, to collaborate on his debut Japanese-language studio album. They both get more out of the experience than expected — for better and for worse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 144,727
- Chapters:
- 15/19
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,024
- Kudos:
- 2,019
- Bookmarks:
- 734
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Bookmarked by cabloom
06 Mar 2026
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Are There Limits To Any Emptiness (When Was The Last Time) by Saturn_ine
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga)
17 Nov 2025
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Summary
He’s not naïve enough to put any hope into it, like he did as a teenager, but he can’t deny his relief that the attraction is still there, if not anything else.
I always knew you wanted to fuck me, Suguru, he thinks, raising his glass to his lips. Would’ve been nice if you’d done something about it.
He wonders if Suguru would now. He wonders if he’d say yes, if Suguru offered.
Probably. Self-control had never been his virtue.
Satoru POV of When Was the Last Time (Come Here to Me).
Series
- Part 4 of When Was The Last Time (Come Here To Me)
Bookmarked by cabloom
24 Feb 2026
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wait a minute while i make you mine (super shy) by persimmonsandcats
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
21 Jun 2024
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The guy holds a finger up at Yuuta and it’s gently menacing, the way he waves it in Yuuta’s face, the way his eyes say stay still without him having to say anything at all. When he seems certain Yuuta isn’t going to move, he redirects his attention to his phone and types furiously. Yuuta vaguely notices his thin gold rings, the fact that a few of the guy’s nails are painted black, scraped up like he uses his hands a lot and hadn’t bothered to repaint them.
Then the guy shoves his phone in Yuuta’s face.
Yuuta goes a little cross-eyed trying to see it. He puts his hand on the guy’s wrist to steady the phone and pull it away from his face so he can actually see whatever he is being shown. Yuuta realizes, once his fingers connect around the guy's slim wrist, overlapping a little, that touching him like this is pretty forward of Yuuta– but also this dude is shoving a phone in his face, so maybe it’s fine.
The phone is open to the notes app and says:
i’m mute. i literally can’t talk pretty much at all. stop running away from me, asshole. why are you so freaky fast?
“Uh.” Yuuta says.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,589
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 140
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- 1,405
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- 375
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Bookmarked by cabloom
21 Feb 2026
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you can take me hot to go by persimmonsandcats
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
07 Jun 2024
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Summary
“Okay,” Utahime says, massaging her temples, “you know what?”
“No.” Satoru says, and stares at the DM from Suguru so hard his vision starts to blur.
“Gojo Satoru.” She snaps her fingers in front of his face, disturbing his hyper-locked in view of the phone screen, and he blinks, the world coming back into focus.
“Huh?” He says.
“Okay, I have known you since you were, what? Twelve? Thirteen?”
Satoru makes an iffy sort of hand gesture. It was somewhere around there, who knows really. He can’t remember all that.
“Okay, so I say this with the full weight of well over a decade of…” She pauses, thinking.
“Friendship.” He supplies, nodding.
She stares at him dead-eyed.
“Acquaintanceship?” He tries, failing to stop the pout.
“Proximity.” She decides firmly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,405
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 1,740
- Bookmarks:
- 499
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by cabloom
21 Feb 2026
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“Baby,” Kinji says softly, crawling up over her body. She squeezes her eyes shut, turns her head, can’t help that her lips have settled into a pout. “Baby.” Kinji repeats, closer now, his voice that low growl that does all sorts of things to her. He’s half resting on her body, half on the bed, his elbows planted above her shoulders. She can feel the rough of his jacket against her skin.
“Outside clothes on the bed disgust me.” She says and doesn’t open her eyes. There’s a pause. She feels the weight of him, the warmth of him leaving, hears the rustle of clothes as he takes off his jacket, his shirt, hears the clink of his belt buckle and the metallic sound of his zipper. She shivers despite herself, thighs clenching together, hands lifting up to play idly with her choker.
The bed dips and sways and then the warm scent of him is back, his sweat and the sandalwood cologne she buys for him, deep with green moss, light around the edges with citrus peel.
“Baby,” He repeats, laying himself over her, his thick muscles caging her into the bed. She’s covered in his warmth– her golden glowing sun. “Look at me, pretty girl.”
Bookmarked by cabloom
18 Feb 2026