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Echo knows that Fives is gone, knows that Rex hesitantly told him that, grief evident in his tone (and Echo feels a sudden, quick flash of anger at his Captain, at letting Fives die; he should have kept him safe. He swallows it down, it wasn’t Rex’s fault.), but it still doesn't feel real. The idea of Fives being gone hasn’t quite hit him.
Echo's just returned to the 501st after being saved from the Tambor, the place that he still finds himself waking up in the middle of the night, his body aching with phantom feelings. He’s back with his vode, he’s surrounded by people who care, yet he still feels so empty for some reason.
Yes, he's exhausted after running and getting dragged around; his adrenaline had been completely sapped out of him by now; still, but he never expected the loneliness that threatens to swallow him.
He exits, numbly, out of the Bad Batches' LAAT/I gunship, with the help of Captain Rex, and he is led all the way, or about halfway, to an awaiting medical cot. Kix stands there with a small smile on his face, and Echo feels himself smile slightly, he misses seeing Kix’s disappointed face every time he gets himself into a mess.
Echo blinks slowly. He feels so tired, so exhausted, so lost. And it hurts knowing that his cyare is gone forever. His heart throbs achingly. Fives was taken away before Echo could even see him again. Echo is alive. Fives is dead; one day he might come to terms with the unfairness of that.
Echo's grip tightens on Rex's arm at the terrifying realization. It sucks the remaining energy right out of his limbs, his mind, everything; and he slumps forward. Legs turning into noodles, and he’s barely aware of Rex shifting suddenly to hold his weight as Echo does his best not to fall apart on the floor of the med-bay.
"Woah, easy, Echo. Easy, " Rex holds him up the best he can. Kix hurriedly brings the cot closer, concern heavy in his eyes.
Echo blinks blearily. Up above him is Kix, Rex, one of the Bad Batch, and—No. No. That can't be right. It can't be—a shadow. A shadow that makes something inside him churn in a way he can’t describe. His only tie to reality right now, especially when he’s spending most of his energy keeping his gaze on it.
He goes to question what it is out loud, but before he can say anything about it, dark spots start to swallow his vision and blissful oblivion snatches him up.
___
He doesn’t realize that he’s even fallen asleep until he’s waking up again. Waking up in the clinical white hospital bed, a familiar ache in the back of his head. This is something he’s dealt with, something he can understand. He turns to his side, intending to say something about how much he hates the med-bay when he freezes. There’s nobody next to him, Fives isn’t there like he used to be. He would never be there next to Echo again.
He had almost forgotten what Rex had told him, about Fives dying; he didn’t even ask what had happened, the shock had hit him full-force, followed quickly by empty grief.
It’s strange to be here without Fives, where one went, the other usually followed.
His mind wanders back to the shape he saw before, standing just a bit away from the medical bed. It didn’t scare him like most things like that did (Fives was always the most daring one out of the two of them) if anything it was almost comforting to see, something instinctual in him settling at the sight of it.
He chalks it up to seeing things, Kix has said multiple times that you see strange things when you’re almost unconscious and that he should just leave things alone sometimes. But he has this sneaky suspicion there's something more to this odd shadow; and damn what Kix told him, Echo had never been good at following the medics orders anyway.
The shadow wavers and moves about in one singular place. It doesn't come closer to him, and it doesn't move further away either. What is this weird shadow? And its...sentient? Echo sits up and then cries out when his head throbs terribly at the sudden movement. His vision tilts sideways at the pressure. Grogginess fogs up his mind again and Echo's eyelashes flutter closed for a moment. When he opens them again. The shadow is gone.
What? Where did— Echo turns his head and immediately jolts back when he sees that the shadow is now directly next beside him. Hovering. Silent. It usually wouldn't have startled him, but he was more distracted than usual; Echo managed to not scream. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. He repeats mentally like a mantra. Echo pants for air, trying to get over the flash of panic from earlier, before he settles down from his crazy startlement, his chest burning slightly.
"W-who..." His throat is dry. He coughs to clear it , "What are you?" Echo asks cautiously. He is curious, he’s never been able to pass up a mystery. Fives used to laugh at him for it, before immediately joining him in investigating. To both, his disappointment and expectancy—because who really expects the shadow entity to actually respond to them? The shadow doesn't respond, doesn't make any sort of noise, just hovers next to him, flickering, like its trying to reach out to him.
Echo knows he should probably be nervous about this, or comm someone about this. But he can't find it in him to be scared of it, the shadow being familiar in ways he can't describe, something inside him relaxing the longer he's around the flicking shadow.
Echo settles back into the bed, watching the shadow with wary, interested eyes, he won't deny that a part of him is dying to figure it out. The shadow, in turn, doesn't do much; moving between standing next to Echo's bed, and moving to hover awkwardly by where Kix is talking to another patient.
Echo comes to the startling realization that—I’m the only one that can see it—which certainly complicates things, if he chooses to, it would be so hard to explain what he's talking about, at least without anybody else seeing it. Deep down he already knows he can't say anything about this, Rex would think he was insane, that something in his brain was broken; he couldn't handle that.
He didn't want to risk being decommissioned.
He just had to figure this out on his own.
___
The day moves on and the shadow disappears. Echo thinks that, yes, its finally gone. Maybe it was just a one-time thing. But Echo thought wrong. The shadow doesn't go away as he expected, instead, he sees it out of the corner of his eye.
Hovering. Passing by walls. Sneaking about. Echo gets nervous about it following him, like a lost puppy through the halls. Interesting....that's...familiar. Echo decides to ignore the spirit or just shadow , he can't get distracted by it.
Then, one night, Echo feels this strange presence hovering above him while he's sleeping. His chest is beginning to feel tighter like there was something crushing him.
When he opens his eyes, his natural fight or flight reflex kicks in, forcing him awake; however, the shadow is sitting on top of him.
Or, going through him. He couldn't tell. But it’s like its straddling him; its legs on either side of Echo’s hips and its hands are nowhere to be seen, but it scares the kriff out of Echo. Echo couldn’t scream, he couldn’t cry out, he couldn’t do anything but stare. The creature stares back just as hard; deep into his eyes. Although, said shadow doesn't have eyes or eye holes for that matter.
Echo's chest feels heavy. Like a mallet was placed on top of it, and he gasps for air his body needs. He's choking! He can’t breathe, so he whines; which resonates and vibrates deep within his chest, and when he finally can rasp for help it sounds so forced and weak. The shadow wavers like its...worried? And then it disappears off of him just as Kix runs over to check on Echo's vitals.
His heart is pounding. Echo blinks when Kix shines a light in his eyes, checking and double-checking over him; asking so many questions. Not meaning to overwhelm him, just worried. And when the light is gone, the shadow appears again, but this time its very far away on the other side of the room.
It looks smaller somehow because its shrunken up into itself . Is it scared? Echo presses his right prosthetic hook against his chest, the cold metal digs into his skin, and then Echo opts for the opposite hand since it’s flesh and warm and comforting.
___
Echo finds himself thinking about that incident throughout the day, no matter what he did, his mind kept wandering back to that feeling of being unable to breathe, of the pressure pressing down on his chest, a feeling that honestly terrified him.
He's hyperaware of the shadow-spirit for the rest of the day, noticing when the shadow figure skirts around brushing up against people, keeps to the walls of the room. He notices when it flickers, form shifting into something Echo almost recognizes, before going back to the black entity.
"You guys haven't.. noticed anything weird recently, have you?" Echo questions quietly one day, eyes darting over to the shadow hovering in the corner, its form looking more solid today than it usually did.
As he expected, Kix looks at him confused, and just a bit concerned, Rex just looks like he's wondering what the kriff Echo was talking about. That confirms the fact that apparently Echo is the only person who could see it.
Rex leans against the back of a lower cupboard. "Can't say I have. Are you okay?" Echo shifts slightly at the concern in Rex's voice, it sounds so much like Fives for a moment, that it almost takes Echo's breath away.
It's been horrible without Fives. Echo’s never truly known a time without having the other man there, except for when he was working as the Separatist’s computer thing. He walks like he's lost a limb, more than his arm; he walks like he's been gutted. He still finds himself turning to look over his shoulder with a joke, before seeing the empty spot.
It leads to him noticing when the shadow starts walking closer; standing almost next to him or just behind him. So similar to how Fives used to stand that Echo can't help but stare in wonder. The shadow doesn't produce body heat but Echo will swear that he can almost feel a soft type of warmth emitting from it when it stands near him like this.
Eventually, he grows used to having his shadow companion around; gets used to looking over his shoulder and seeing them.
It makes him really happy that the spirit would stick with him, close by, and never disappear unless he fell asleep. But some nights he would open his eyes, just a peek, and could just make out the dark figure standing there.
It absolutely should be scaring him for than it actually is; but Echo’s seen everything by now, he can’t find it in him to truly be afraid.
Sometimes its in the corner, sometimes its on the bed. Sometimes its next to the bed. And then that strange yet affectionate straddle hovering over his lifting chest; as if it wants to stay as physically close to Echo as possible. When it does that specifically, it sort of lifts its own weight off of Echo thoughtfully.
Like it remembers it caused distress the last time.
Echo would feel the warmth of appreciation flourish within the cavities of his chest. His heart would pound melodically. Drums pounding one by one. This is too familiar; its reminding him too much of what he's missing. What he loved so dearly.
But the presence of the shadow above would lure him right back to deep slumber again.
___
One night, very late in the evening after a particularly bad day, Echo is sitting at a desk in the corner of the room. The dim light makes his golden eyes glow.
The day ended badly because Echo saw Jesse and Kix together; talking, laughing, and Jesse was just there with Kix. It reminded Echo he lost something, a comforting sentient being who was at his beck and call every time. And that someone he would also return the favor to.
Now he stares at the metal desk in front of him. His eyes are wide and unseeing with tears that pick the corners but he wouldn't allow them to fall just yet. He wants to calm down. The comforting presence of the shadow is not there. Where did it go?
Echo is scared of the shadow; the only thing that seemed to stay with him and reminded him of a special somebody is gone. It left him...just like... Fives. The name crosses his gray thoughts; erasing the gray and making it explode in vibrant colors of red and blue, scarily bold and ugly and disturbing. And because the name, a horrid reminder in his lasting days popped up in his mind, undesired; it causes a ripple effect filled with pain and sorrow.
The first thing that happens is his hands tremble the slightest bit. Echo tries to regain focus and control over his own muscles but he couldn't. It is too much, all the emotions, all the sensations, all the feelings are coming back. Ramping. Dangerously. Out. Of. Control.
The trembles turn to violent shakes. His entire being is vibrating against the metal chair he sat upon. Echo feels a whimper crawl up the back of his throat, which turns into a small sob once it reaches his mouth and passes through.
After the sob escaped him, Echo slumps forward and hugs himself. Desperate for warmth. And—oh force. Oh force, oh force. Salty wet tears sting his skin like acidic rain as they cascade down his face like a riveting stream.
His chest heaves for air. No. Stop. Stop.
White flashes of memories flutter through like a slideshow. Kamino. Graduating. Domino squad. Rishi Moon. Joining the 501st. Protecting Kamino. Promotion to ARC trooper. Everything everything. 'Karkin everything burns, even when it's ironically cold too; ice in his veins.
And then...the Citadel. Echo gasps in shock, all the air leaves him in one go, and a new wave of tears, filled with rage, bubbles up and out; it breaks the cracked wall that was supposed to be stabilized.
A grief-filled sob. A cry. A scream almost tears up and out of his throat in agony. "Fives,” He cries, hugging himself tightly. "Fives. Fives. Fives." He hates that he’s reacting like this, acting so weak; but there’s a certain type of grief to be left while your other half is gone.
Echo's skin is so numb that he couldn't even feel his own nails dig into his chest, creating half-moons.
Echo barely even notices when a heavy-weight settles on his shoulders, but he glances up slowly through teary-eyes and sees the shadow there, looking less like a shadow and more like a person.
He lets out a choked, watery laugh. “At least you’re still here.”
It’s almost strange how he’s grown to be comforted by the sight of the shadow-person, how sometimes he looks at the shadow causing chaos somewhere, freaking people out by moving things when they’re not looking; and feels a rush of fondness.
Echo would never hate Jesse and Kix for having each other, he’d never wish this kind of empty pain on anybody, but sometimes the jealousy threatens to swallow him.
Echo talks to Tech about it, usually Echo would go to Rex about this sort of thing, especially now that Fives is gone; but he can’t bring himself to put his Captain in that position; so he goes to Tech. Tech understands what he means, understands it in a way that even Echo didn’t. He explains that he’s not hating Jesse and Kix for being happy , he’s hating that they have each other, while he’s still painfully...alone.
The shadow presses that much closer that night.
___
The day finally comes when Echo has to go on a mission with Captain Rex and the Bad Batch to commandeer a covert assault on Admiral Trench's forces. The black entity, nearly solid, hovers in the back. It watches Echo's every move. But once Echo actually gets on the shuttle to start the said mission, the shadow disappears for a bit. Then it reappears again during the mission. The entire time Echo felt warm. Protected. Safe.
They're more outgunned than they had originally expected to be, Echo can't deny that he's missed the thrill of being on a mission, of having to put that level of trust in his vode. It makes him miss Fives more than usual, he misses knowing unfailingly that Fives would watch his back, making sure to defend any of Echo's blind spots.
It's only after during a lapse in the battle, that Echo notices the shadow-spirit properly, how it weaves around the other troopers, and settles just a bit behind Echo's shoulder, its form wispier than it usually is. Echo feels a jolt of longing at the familiar action, something both horrible and hurting, and so comforting.
Echo can't help but narrow his eyes at the shadow from under his bucket, there’s something almost nervous about the way the shadow is hovering, like its almost worried for Echo.
"Echo? You alright, vod?" Rex interrupts his train of thought, appearing in front of Echo suddenly, prompting him to slide his eyes away from the shadow-spirit.
"Yeah, I'm good. Not used to fighting as much as I used to be." The excuse sounds weak even to Echo's ears, he's never been so happy to have a helmet on, stopping Rex from looking at him directly in the eyes.
"Stay safe Echo; we don't want to lose you so soon." Rex claps him on the shoulder roughly, before jogging back over to where Kix is leaning over a mildly injured, and complaining Jesse, who had gotten clipped by one of the blaster-shots.
Echo shares a look with Tech across the field, Tech who Hunter was lecturing about safety again. The fond exasperation in his eyes made Echo laugh, Tech was honestly one of the bright spots about coming back and finding his whole world had changed again.
___
The mission was a success! They killed Admiral Trench, blew up his ship, and returned back down to Anaxes unharmed. On the way down, Echo feels like he doesn't belong with the 501st any more, not without Fives here with me.
Sure, there's Captain Rex, Jesse, Kix, old friends of his. But everyone else is gone. Tup. Dogma. Hardcase. Fives. All of his old friends. It just wouldn't be the same and there's nothing left for him, especially now that Fives is gone too. Echo needs to leave...go with the Bad Batch. He feels happier with them!
He feels that Tech would definitely make a good friend to keep around. And Echo always has his shadow there by his side, well, whenever the entity decides to show up unannounced.
Echo exits the ship, saying his goodbyes to the Bad Batch, but they are not his last though. He turns his back to and walks towards the base with Rex. But Echo stops and looks back at the Bad Batch.
The shadow stands between Echo and them, almost as if to call him back to where he belongs. The Bad Batch members are laughing with one another. It makes Echo's heart fill with a warmth he missed for ages. Something he's only felt when his old friends were still alive. Now they are not. Echo yearns for happiness and laughter, friends to trust, once again.
Rex returns to Echo's side and tells him that he should go with the Bad Batch. Echo barely even acknowledges his presence. Echo’s in a daze.
"Are you sure, sir?" Echo asks. Rex nods.
"Go with them. The Bad Batch is a team I believe you’ll feel like you belong. I know you'll do great things. Just know that I'll always be proud of you." Rex offers a smile of pride.
Echo smiles back. "Thank you, Rex. It was an honor serving with you, sir." Echo nods at him in respect, Rex returns it, and then Echo walks away. He passes through the spirit waiting for him and he feels warmth wrap around his heart and squeeze.
Echo smiles at the members of the Bad Batch, his mutant vode, and then he turns to face Captain Rex again. He salutes him. The Bad Batch follows and Rex smiles at them as they return back onto the ship.
Later, Echo is given a room they have, and Wrecker swore they forgot it even existed. But now it's Echo's new sleeping quarters, private and silent, and definitely something he's not used to since he was crammed into claustrophobic sleeping pods and more or less spacious bunk beds with vode surrounding him in their own beds.
Echo collapses onto the mattress and sighs heavily. He's absolutely exhausted.
___
Echo falls into a restless sleep that night, the ship feels different, there’s no feeling of knowing that your vode were there. He finds himself dreaming, dreaming of flickering shadows and whispers about orders. He dreams about the shadow-entity that's been following him around, the shadow makes a crackling noise; a noise that immediately puts him on edge, like its trying to communicate.
Echo steps forward and reaches out to put a hand against the shadow.
He wakes up with a start. Sweat sticks uncomfortably to him and it drenches his blacks. He can feel his heart stuttering almost painfully in his chest; this isn't his first dream like that, nightmares are part of the job, but something about that sent tendrils of dread up his spine.
Echo glances up, noticing the way his shadow-companion had disappeared, no longer sitting against the wall like he was when Echo went to sleep. He thinks back to his dream, thinks about how the shadow kept trying t o communicate with him. He wonders if that's what the shadow wants him to try.
Echo flops back against his pillow, staring up at the ceiling in tired contemplation, things were so much simpler when their biggest enemies were Sith and clankers; none of this shadow-force-conspiracy banthashit.
(He's still got the echoing words about orders, and duty, and being a good soldier floating in his head.)
He forces himself to slide his eyes shut, praying to something that he would be able to fall back asleep, peacefully.
___
It was about a week or two later Echo found himself in a slightly troubling predicament. He and the Bad Batch were taking care of a group of flying beasts, as Wrecker called it with crazy laughter, 'Monster huntin’. They all jumped off the cliff a couple of seconds ago and Echo is the last one to jump.
Echo takes a deep breath, calms his nerves, and then he jumps off the cliff as well. The air rushes up to meet him, pushing and shoving. Echo closes his eyes for a second and then opens them when he catches the sight of a shadow moving past him, it’s not the shadow he's grown so used to; it's the flying beasts the others jumped on.
Echo spots one right underneath him and dives for it.
"Tech to Echo. Tech to Echo. Are you in position?" Tech's voice rumbles through the comm.
There's the sound of airy static accompanying his voice so Echo knows he's also in the air. Echo grunts and lands right on top of the leathered back flying creature.
The creature shrieks at the extra weight and tries to fling him off, but Echo tightens his hold. The creature takes a deep dive down through the air and Echo grits his teeth.
"Shit shit shit!" He curses and holds on for dear life, once he's close enough to the ground the creature tosses him right off its back. Echo falls onto the ground hard. He rolls across the rough surface until he comes to a stop, lying on his back.
Echo jumps to his feet or tries to, but the beast lands right on top of him. Echo gasps for the remaining air in his lungs before it's snatched from him. He struggles to aim his blaster at the beast but it knocks it cleanly from his hands. Kriff!
This is bad, this is very bad. He doesn't have any other weapon on him, and his blaster has been knocked into a pile of rubble on the other side of the area. Without a weapon, and these creatures showing no signs of spontaneously calming down; there's a very real chance he could die. For real.
He heaves in a gasping breath under the weight of the creature pressing harder on his chest. Where are the others? They should be here by now. Echo tries to think up a plan. He needs to work out what he's going to do; but panic is seeping into his mind, rendering him incapable of thinking clearly.
He's seeing black spots dance across his vision, his fingers tingling almost painfully, and he's almost ready to just accept it when the pressure lifts off of him suddenly. He glances up, eyes locking onto the flickering, black form of the shadow-spirit standing above him, doing something that manages to distract the creature long enough for Echo to slip out of its grasp.
He shoves himself backward, wobbling dangerously on his feet as he tries to stand, the creature has lost its focus, hobbling off to go and find food, or that's what Echo assumes.
"Thanks?" Echo questions his shadow-savior, not really having tried talking to him before.
Its wispy form turns to him, solidifying for the barest second; it’s quick, but it’s still enough for Echo to see a glimpse of a familiar tattoo and familiar eyes before the form flickers again.
"Fives?" Echo gasps out, eyes widening. The figure moves backward away from Echo before disappearing out of sight. Echo goes to look around, to find where he's gone when he hears Hunter and Tech calling out to him from over with the others.
___
The experience was bizarre. Echo knows this. After almost suffocating to death and then getting saved by the shadow, Fives —or the shadow is suspected to be him— everything has been quiet. Echo hasn't seen much of the shadow in a while. Days and nights go by and he always felt cold and alone. Echo internally aches for someone's arms to be wrapped around him, keeping him close, safe and loved.
But that won't happen ever again. Instead of sulking around and crying; Echo sits on the edge of his bed and waits, deep in his own mangled thoughts. He remembers all the good times with Fives.
Echo tried to gawk at Fives subtly. But his astonishment manifested clearly in his sun dipped eyes. "Fives, that is....actually a really good plan." He raised one eyebrow at his partner-in-crime.
"Really?" Fives' lips quirked up at the surprising acknowledgment and praise for intelligent thinking.
Echo shook his head in warm amusement, "Yes, goofball. It was brilliant." Echo smiled back with sincerity. "And I am not kidding.”
"Heh. Thanks, love. I knew I was always smart." Fives closed his eyes and gave his award-winning smile. "Okay, don't push it." Echo shoved his shoulder playfully and kept walking. Fives laughed and chased after him.
Echo smiles to himself as he takes a trip down memory lane. It's a pain to remember that stuff, and of course, the memories beat one's breast, but he tries to remain secretive about his pain.
Fives died about almost a year ago. Echo wants to move on but he always comes back to the same damn question, did he suffer? Echo wasn't there to see it happen and it hurts to think about what pain Fives must've gone through. I just hope that he died painlessly. That he didn't suffer when he marched away.
Echo hums to himself before he turns his hands over on his lap, palms up, the lines etched into his skin. He's bored. The Bad Batch hasn't been on a mission for a couple of days, seems they are searching for more beasts to take down. So Echo took this rare opportunity to be by himself for once.
The shadow hasn't shown up yet and it’s worrying Echo. What if it...he...never comes back? He wonders to himself. The room feels chilly; the temperature dropped over the night and it's making Echo feel uncomfortable.
He stares blankly at the floor under his boots. Darkness unfolds when his eyelashes flutter shut. Echo listens for the energy in the room, maybe if he remains quiet then he'll feel the entity's otherworldly presence in the beyond. It could be here but not semi-physically.
"Are you there? Are you...with me?" And Echo knows how stupid he sounds, he feels like the main character of some cheesy horror movie. The muscles in his face twitch in anticipation for the shadow to reappear. But still, it does not. He tries again.
"Fives..." Echo calls out. Echo’s fingers curl into themselves. The reddish-pink in his hands turns pale white as the blood is squished out of place under the muscle.
Suddenly, the shadow appears before him. It bores into his soul and his very being. But it still has no eyes. Faceless. Echo stares back, curious as to what this creature really is. Who is it? Why is it here? How did it get here? So many questions he hopes won't go unanswered.
"What are you?" Echo asks. He knows and remembers it took the form of Fives days before in the midst of a dire situation, but how can he be sure it’s Fives. There are more ways of telling. But he wasn't given that ability to tell. To know.
The speckles of black ash floating off of the spirit seem to slow their roll. They backtrack and wisp forward instead of backward. Echo shivers before the warmth surround him. The shadow walks towards him, slowly, hesitantly, watching and studying Echo's every move.
Echo holds his breath. ‘I’m not afraid of you.’
The shadow kneels, one knee pressed into the cold floor, the other leg is propped up; the shadow stares up at him. Echo cocks his head to the side. It’s deathly silent.
His breath stutters in his chest oddly, his right-hand breaks the empty space between him and the entity; that seems to be harmless. It won't hurt me. I know it won't. Echo's right, clammy palm makes contact with the creature's cheek.
The reaction is instantaneous. It lets out a sharp cry. An almost deafening in ear-shattering crescendo, but Echo feels nothing. The shadow doesn't hurt him. It doesn't seek out to cause pain. It only kneels there, emitting strange sounds; clicks like a button, snaps like fingers, crackles like white static. It sounds entirely organic, so its not some sort of robot-shadow-creature.
Echo purses his lips. "Strange. I don't understand what you are trying to say?" Echo murmurs The creature doesn’t respond, and Echo spares a thought to the Bad Batch members that are sleeping down the halls, he hopes they haven’t heard anything, it would be way too hard to explain.
Echo doesn’t know how to feel about the thought of this...shadow-spirit-creature being Fives.
Firstly, how is that even possible? Clone troopers aren’t force-sensitive; they shouldn’t be able to do things like that. The only troopers that were force-sensitive usually got decommissioned.
And secondly, the thought of Fives being there was both comforting, it’s almost relieving to think about Fives being there with him, even as Echo feels like his world is imploding; and something awful.
The idea that Fives didn’t get to move on, that he was somehow trapped with Echo.
"I don't know what to do most of the time. Everything always feels at a standstill. Like I am not moving anywhere like I am not progressing at all, and sometimes I feel like-" Echo pauses in his whispers to himself. He is talking to the spirit but mostly himself as well.
"Like I don't belong here anymore, on the living plane. Like I am not supposed to be alive." Echo closes his eyes and gently exhales. The creature cocks its head to the side and remains speechless.
It would be good to just talk to someone or....something, I guess. This creature seems to be the only thing that actually listens to me. So, might as well go all out and talk about my feelings.
"I...lost someone very dear to me. I don't talk about it much but you seem to be a good listener. Reminds me of him." Echo's lips quirk up in a sad smile that is not comforting at all. It's strained and forced.
He lifts one hand and waves away at the air around him. "I didn't even know he died until two weeks ago. He didn't even know I was alive still. The suckiest part is that I'll never see him again. " Echo turns his hands over, palms up towards the dark ceiling. The creature is still and relaxed. Wisps of darkness swirl around it.
"And.... every day I am reminded that I miss the 501st but I can't be there with them because he's gone. Without him, there was no point in me staying." There. He confessed.
"It hurts....I miss him so much..my other half." A lone tear makes its way down his face, Echo wipes it away swiftly. The creature stares and makes small crackling sounds, almost as if it feels sad for him.
Echo can't make out what its saying, he can't speak solely in noises after all. But the spirit seems to be pitying him, small, wordless sounds emitting from the spirit. Echo doesn't know if he's more upset, or relieved at the fact he can't get any confirmation.
Echo stumbles backward and sits himself down on the bed behind him, dropping his head into his hands, suddenly more exhausted than he had thought he was. He still doesn't know why he even told anything to that spirit, as familiar and comforting it had been, Echo had no guarantee that it would not attempt to kill him later on.
Most things do.
Echo takes a deep breath, doing his best to clear his mind of any connections he's discovered, any similarities between Fives, and this shadow-spirit. It was nothing, Echo remembers Tech telling him a few days ago that grief was a terrible thing, it's probably just grief that's making him act like this.
Still, a small, traitorous part of his mind couldn't help but wander back to when the shadow saved him when he saw those eyes; e yes he could never mistake, he knows those eyes, as well as he knows his own.
The memory makes his eyes burn again, and force, haven’t I cried enough?
The shadow-spirit has disappeared, gone somewhere that Echo doesn't know; he doesn't know why the room feels so cold without it.
Echo exhales, before standing up and heading out of his room, determined to do something to take his mind off those eyes, and the shadow-spirits pity.
___
They finally found an off-the-grid mission that next morning that has to do with the Separatists. Echo is kind of overjoyed that now he's got something to do for once; maybe not showing his excitement as much as Wrecker here.
"WHOO!! WHO'S READY TO RUMBLE!!! " Wrecker shouts and starts walking back and forth around the cockpit. Echo chuckles lightly.
"You’ll get your chance, Wrecker." Hunter tries to calm him down.
"Just stop being so loud," Crosshair hisses at him.
Tech is too busy to really socialize with his team, but he is not too busy to notice Echo's chosen silence.
"Hey, are you okay, Echo?" Tech flicks his eyes over to stare at him.
Echo is slightly ashamed to admit that he doesn't even hesitate before lying to Tech. A small part of him feels regret at it, he never did like lying to vode , but he is well aware that some things just weren't for other ears.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking about the mission, you know how it is." Echo responds, mustering up the energy to throw a grin at Tech and getting a fond rolling of his eyes in response.
It's times like these that Echo thinks about it, thinks about how well Fives and Tech would have gotten along in another life, the two being more similar than anybody knew.
"If you're sure," Tech mutters, narrowing his eyes briefly at Echo, making the ARC Trooper shift in his spot, there's no way Tech would know he was lying, he had no reason to be nervous.
Thankfully, Tech just turns back to sight in front of them, and Echo goes back to listening to Wrecker and Crosshair argue about something petty; and Hunter's tired scolding.
Still, he can't stop the way his mind wanders back to the shadow-spirit, the one that had been absent from beside Echo for a few days; something that Echo was surprised to find himself noticing, having become fond of the spirit. He can't stop thinking about it being Fives, that's what all the signs point to.
However, he does know that wishful thinking sometimes got you killed so he shoves those thoughts to the back of his mind, for now. He has the mission to focus on. The Bad Batch steps off their transport and inhales...fresh air? That's normal on some planets but Echo doesn’t suspect this one's atmosphere to be breathable. But he takes off his helmet anyways after the discovery.
"Alright, come on. This way." Hunter runs off. Wrecker, Crosshair, Tech, and then Echo follows him up the huge dirt and grass-covered hill to the very top; rocks slide past Echo when he finally reaches it.
"Down there. Separatists up to no good, as always. So we've been sent to take ‘em out." Hunter crouches down low and places his hands on the ground. Echo is no stranger to their specialties at this point. They no longer surprise him.
"Crosshair, get a closer look," Hunter orders
Crosshair smirks. "My pleasure." He crouches down as well and brings out his slim, metallic sniper blaster. One eye closes and the other remains open as he spies through the glass.
"Seven targets. One went inside. There's gotta be more than seven. We may be in for a real treat boys." Crosshair backs out of what he was doing when Wrecker slams a hefty gloved hand down into his right shoulder.
"Heh heh! Wrecking time?" Wrecker asks with the dumbest and biggest grin on his face. Crosshair rolls his eyes and decides to not answer. Wrecker pouts loosely like a puppy so Tech acknowledges him instead.
"Yes, Wrecker. Wrecking time."
Wrecker smirks. "Oh yeah! They are going down-!"
"But we are sneaking down first onto the platform before you get to do some real damage," Tech explains softly, and then his face shifted to laxer again.
Serious as always that Tech. Echo smiles.
"Once we get down to the platform we should be able to take those six guys out. If that's the case, and it works, then we can get inside without issue." Tech looks up at Wrecker and waves his hand loosely. "You got all that, Wrecker?"
Wrecker groans. His huge limbs slump forward and he sighs. The scars on his face twitch with his expression.
"Yessssssss~" Wrecker's face stretches into something quite disturbing, a frozen painting of pure boredom.
Tech turns his attention to their leader. "Then we are good to go," He utters. Hunter nods at him and they are off again.
———
"AaaaaahhhhhhhHHHHHH!!!" A man is thrown into the air and across the platform. Wrecker's voice booms in crazed laughter of enjoyment. "HAHAHAHA! Who else wants some?" He swings his body around and smashes his fists together.
Behind a couple of crates, his team waits for him to finish doing the dirty work.
"Why aren't we down there again?" Echo asks in confusion because usually, they all do the first part together.
Tech shrugs at him. "Because Wrecker is able to handle six guys on his lonesome and we are waiting."
It's silent, except for your occasional screams of pain and fear and Wrecker's shouts of victory and excitement. Tech cocks his head to the side sheepishly, and adds, "Oh yeah, also, I made a deal with him because he wanted to get first dibs. So why not all six at once, right?" He smirks.
Echo blinks and raises his chin. Then he sighs. "Oh." He shakes his head.
The Bad Batch is different from the 501st in a way that Echo could not describe; whether it is because of his lack of history with the bad Batch, or simply the way they operate, he actually doesn’t know. Sometimes it’s a comforting fact, especially when thinking about the 501st makes Echo horribly aware of everything he had lost; and of what happened to Fives.
"What are we waiting for?" Echo whispers. Sometimes he hates that they don’t give him all the information and that most of their plans they come up with on the spot. It's something that General Skywalker used to do often, Echo is used to it by now but it still makes him roll his eyes at them.
"We're waiting for Wrecker to take out those guys before we head into the main building to get our information and shut down any in-progress plans." Surprisingly it is Hunter that responds in that tone that is somehow remarkably similar to Rex and Commander Cody; it must just be a command thing.
"Ah, right."
The conversation trails off not long after that, all of them are focusing on watching Wrecker well—wreck stuff. It isn’t long before Wrecker flashes the 'all clear' signal their way and they are slipping down to the entrance to the base; coming to stand near Wrecker.
"Good work, Wrecker." Tech smiles at him, small, but it is still there. Wrecker grins.
"Thanks! Now let's take out some seppies!"
Wrecker immediately runs into the building. Echo sighs heavily before he follows them.
———
Explosions of yellow and red shake the entire facility. Echo types away fiercely at the keypad so then he can get the information they need while the rest of Bad Batch take out the clankers. Sweat rolls down his forehead, sticky, bothersome, and disgusting. Echo wipes his forehead and continues.
Come on come on!
The screen turns a bright red and Echo slams his fists into the metal. "Haar'chak!"
Hunter looks over at him and one eyebrow arches up in suspicion and confusion. "Echo! We need you to hurry!"
Echo nods. "I know!"
It's not working. Why isn't it– Echo freezes. The strong sensation of one other's presence sucks all the air out of him. His head pounds. Echo presses one trembling hand onto the side of his skull.
The black shadow is back. It's staring into his soul. Echo stares back. Hypnotized. Hunter curses from where he is and runs over to Echo, but Hunter's all the way on the other side of the room. A droid raises its blaster at Echo. It stands right behind him. And he doesn't even notice.
"Echo!!" Hunter yells.
Echo spins around suddenly, his eyes tracking the movement of the shadow-spirit, of...Fives. He spins around in time to see the droid go limp, dropping to the ground in a heap of metal and wires. Echo doesn’t even react. Around him, the Bad Batch has already started questioning him, wondering why he wasn’t paying attention, why he nearly got himself killed.
None of it registers to Echo. His mind is solely focused on the figure in front of him, standing behind where the droid has crumpled to the ground, silent. He can’t even begin to make a noise, the Bad Batch won’t understand; they can’t see Fives.
Echo has always been the one who saw Fives.
”Fives.”
Echo is positive that’s who this is. Who else would watch out for Echo with so much perseverance? It should be impossible, Fives was supposed to move on from him, death was supposed to be peaceful for him. Apparently, he’s still tied here.
Fives raises his hand, still wispy and mildly see-through, but he’s corporal enough that he reaches up to almost cup Echo’s cheeks; hands coming to rest just a hairline away from the skin. Echo swallows, he doesn’t even dare breathe. He’s well aware of how this looks, the traumatized ARC staring at thin air. If this were Kamino, he’d be getting decommissioned.
Fives backs away, eyes fixed on Echo, who has begun to feel light-headed, his heart beating faster than he thinks is actually safe.
Fives smiles at him slightly, that force-damned smile, and the ground rushes up to meet Echo.
___
"This is how the story went, I met someone by accident. It blew me away. Blew me away." Echo's own voice sang. Sweet. Livid. Full of love and adoration.
"It was in the darkest of my days. When you took my sorrow, and you took my pain. And buried them away, you buried them away." Echo looked at Fives, who sat right next to him. Staring back in awe at the alluring voice.
"I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done. And wake up to your face against the morning sun. But like everything I've ever known you disappear one day. So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away." Echo smiled and kissed Fives’ lips.
Echo's eyes open. Hiding my heart away, his singing reverberates through his mind like pounding drums. An orchestra at play. He sits up and stares at the metal bars holding his bed up. Echo turns his head when he feels an electric presence near him, and sees that the shadow is right there, as always.
Ghostly. Almost transparent. But solid even still.
Echo states, and its undeniably Fives that stares back at him. The same mischievous grin, the same tattoo on his head, even the same gaze in his eyes. All of it makes Echo long to hold him again, even if he knows he can’t.
“Fives?” Echo questions almost hesitantly, as though he was afraid this was all just coincidence, that this wasn’t really Fives in front of him.
Fives grins, staring down at Echo. “I’m glad you realized who I was. Would’ve sucked if I had to spend all my days floating along, and you didn’t recognize me.” His voice is tinged with relief.
Echo coughs out a wet laugh, his eyes suspiciously wet at the sound of Fives’ voice; something he wasn’t sure he was ever going to hear again. “Of course I would notice, I always notice you.”
The grin fades from Fives’ face as he stares at Echo. Something as sharp as broken glass filters into his gaze; a look that Echo doesn’t remember ever seeing on his cyare before, at least not to this degree. It makes spots of worry bloom in his stomach.
“I’m sorry Echo, for not saving you, for not going back for yo-“
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Fives looks shocked at Echo’s response, but Echo will not budge on this; he knows none of that was Fives' fault, knows it down into his very being.
"....Echo, you were still alive. I-" Fives chokes off and looks away in shame. "I didn't even know. If I had known I would've saved you!" He looks back towards Echo again. Fives is irritated, Echo can tell. Fives whips his right hand down to his side and glares at Echo.
Echo sighs and rests his elbows on his knees. "Fives, you couldn't have come back for me. Even if you tried. You had orders—"
"-Kriff the fucking orders, Echo!" Fives hisses restlessly. The black dust-like particles part and float around Five. It is mildly mesmerizing. "I lost someone I loved! The only one who mattered to me. Someone who made me being a trooper seems worthwhile. Because they were there."
Echo's heart clenches at Fives' words of pain.
"But then I was left alone to grieve and mourn. If either one of us were to go out, we would go out together! That was the plan!" Fives sobs and closes his eyes.
Echo felt that protective urge—something he hasn't felt in a long time—to get up and calm Fives down. So, Echo stands up and approaches him with caution. The tentacles begin to vibrate and bend back, almost as if they are afraid of Echo touching them. Echo slowly raises his right hand, on cue the vibrations pick up speed and shake fiercely; threatening Echo's safety, but he doesn't care.
One soft hand comes in contact with rough, sand-covered skin, and Fives' eyes open in a flash. He stares in surprise. He hadn't even noticed that Echo had moved. Echo brushes his hand down and up again. Comforting. Sweet. Physical. They are touching. Fives' chest moves rapidly with his concentrated breath of frustration and then he leans into it. His face relaxes.
The particles swivel around again before freezing where they are.
Echo watches in awe. He purses his lips subconsciously at the change in behavior to the entity seemingly attached to Fives, making him who he is now. Echo knows that he isn’t supposed to be able to touch Fives. Fives is supposed to simply be a ghost, there for Echo to see and speak to, but never to touch.
It hurts to keep his hand there. He feels like his very bones are vibrating and it’s almost nauseating, but it’s worth it to see the wide-eyed joy in Fives’ eyes again. Echo shifts, moving closer to the Fives and leaning forward to rest his head against Fives’ cold skin.
(And even that is supposed to be impossible.)
“It was never your fault. I never blamed you. I only ever loved you, Fives.”
Fives grins wetly. The familiar action makes Echo want to cry. Fives’ lowers his voice, despite the fact that nobody else can hear him, "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”
And Echo suddenly understands why Fives is still here. Where one of them goes, the other will always follow.