Chapter Text
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
As SUE does her Voice Over, the camera pans down the hall to see students. We pass a ‘NO PDA’ sign. The camera keeps going around the school, showing students. Dramatic music is playing in the background through all of this.
SUE (V.O)
America. Ohio’s winningest cheerleading coach is now Ohio’s winningest principal. Test scores are up. Body mass index is down. How’d I do it?
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
Cut to SUE holding three clearly rabid and feral dogs on leads.
SUE (V.O)
The Sue Sylvester three-point plan.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CAFETERIA
Cut to cafeteria, kids in line getting their food.
SUE (V.O)
One: a complete dietary overhaul. Protein shakes and raw kale.
Student is stood by a small counter, with their tray set down and holding a salt shaker.
STUDENT
What am I supposed to do with saltpeter?
SUE
Well, if you sprinkle it on your kale, keep your sex drive down. Bon Appetit.
SUE (V.O)
Sue Sylvester is triumphant. Number two:
EXT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - ENTRANCE
Cut to students walking in. SUE and a cheerio are stood by with weighing scales set up.
SUE (V.O)
Mandatory random weigh-ins and body shaming.
SUE stops a fat kid and gets him to stand on the scales. She moves the scale into the ‘danger zone’.
SUE
Into the pigpen
Camera zooms in on a group of fat kids stuck in a cage, all with pig snouts stuck to their noses. It then cuts back to SUE with the hounds.
SUE (CONT. V.O)
Three: occasionally releasing hounds.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
SUE lets go of the leads and the three dogs charge down the hallway as students scatter and scream, running for their lives.
SUE (V.O)
My crowning achievement?
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CHOIR ROOM
It’s now a computer room, no instruments at all. It’s kinda sad looking, everything stripped from the walls. SUE walks around proudly as students type away on the computers.
SUE (V.O)
Getting rid of that Glee club. Making sure that almost every last one of those sitter-diddled transvestites were forcibly transferred to other schools and converting this place into the beehive of learning it is today. Heck, I even got William that job at Carmel High to assure myself nothing but blissful night’s sleeps. Look at this place. I’m helping to create the next great innovators in this country. You know why America’s falling behind? Because every kid thinks they should be a rap mogul or a movie star.
SUE turns around to a kid sharpening his pencil.
SUE
Yes, young man who’s name I will never care to know, if there’s one thing I am most proud of,
She takes the pencil.
SUE (CONT.)
It’s the fact that I have proven, once and for all, young minds do not need the humanities…
She snaps the pencil and hands it back to the kid.
SUE (CONT.)
Or the arts.
Camera pans out of the room to show RACHEL BERRY had overheard everything, and is clearly annoyed by it.
EST. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
Kids are walking around orderly, and a group of cheerleaders walk towards the camera. Off to the corner and slightly out of focus is RODERICK.
RODERICK (V.O)
My life was fine back home. I had a good family, good friends and- guys. Guys that’s not me.
Camera focuses on RODERICK, taking stuff out of his locker. He’s a chubby guy, wearing headphones and going mostly unnoticed. As he talks he closes his locker and begins to walk down the hall.
RODERICK (V.O)
Yeah, that’s me. I don’t blame you. Did you hear the one about the fat kid who always wears headphones? He wears them because he doesn’t want to hear your lame-ass fat jokes. ‘Cause believe me, I’ve heard them all. And this is my Senior Year. It’s supposed to be the best year of my life, but instead I’m a no-name transfer from Chicago, and not one of these McKinley douche-bags has bothered to talk to me. Whatever. Who needs them? I’ve got my boys; Tupac, Hendrix, Jagger, Sinatra. Music might be my only friend, but it’s the only friend that I need.
A long-haired teenage boy, also a senior called ALISTAIR, comes down the hall and grins at RODERICK.
ALISTAIR
Roderick, I was looking for you, man. You gotta see what they’re doing to the computer lab.
RODERICK
What are they doing to the computer lab?
ALISTAIR doesn’t reply, just grabs RODERICK’s hand and pulls him down the hall. Cut to-
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CHOIR ROOM
IT guys are taking out all of the computers and tech, and a few other people are bringing in a drum set. RACHEL BERRY is standing in the middle of the choir room, grinning ear to ear. Next to her is KURT HUMMEL, looking just as eager and pleased. Just outside are RODERICK and ALISTAIR. Someone looms behind them, camera pans up to show SUE SYLVESTER. Both boys notice and cower away.
SUE
What is this?
RACHEL
We’re bringing back the Glee Club. I went over your head and got express written consent from the superintendent and there is nothing you can do to stop us.
SUE
Let me get this straight. The superintendent gave you permission to demolish a state-of-the-art computer lab to make room for a Glee Club?
KURT
He may have been unaware that this was a computer lab.
SUE
And who will be running this glee club? You, Rachel?
KURT
And me. It’s part of my third-year work-study program at NYADA
SUE
Okay, well, I have to admit I’m surprised at the speed with which two of the Glee Club’s more promising graduates have tucked their tails between their legs and slinked back to High School. While I’m always tickled at the sheer novelty of having a middle-sex like Porcelain, ‘cause it’s just so whimiscal to talk to someone who looks and sounds so much like a gay cartoon walrus, you, Rachel Berry, you crossed a line. I don’t appreciate being told off. And when we met up in New York, you insulted me in front of my beau. Simply because I flew a thousand miles to be at your opening night so I could walk out in the middle and have sex all over your apartment. And then you do this. You two have just entered Sue Sylvester’s Thunderdome. And I will show you no mercy, give no quarter, and my battle with Will Schuester will look like two adorable little baby pandas play-wrestling in comparison to what I’m going to unleash on both of you. You will beg for death. But it will not come. You think you bottomed out with that abomination of a TV show you ran? No, Rachel Berry, your national nightmare has just begun.
SUE walks over to KURT and sniffs him.
SUE(CONT.)
You smell like a nursing home.
SUE goes to leave, before having a SUE-MELTDOWN. As she storms out, RACHEL and KURT look at each other.
EXT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - FOOTBALL FIELD
The cheerios are practicing a routine as the football team practices on the field.
MADISON (V.O)
You know the twins from the shining? Imagine them as teenagers, now make one a guy, and they’re both cheerleaders, and a lot less creepy. That’s me and my twin brother, Mason.
The pyramid tumbles down.
SUE
What was that? Get your heads out of your asses and get it right!
KITTY
Yeah, Madison. Stop making googly eyes at your brother and pay attention.
A group of cheerleaders laugh, surrounding KITTY. MADISON takes a breath and gets into position as MASON sends her a sympathetic frown.
MADISON (V.O)
I’m not dating my brother. I don’t want to date my brother. I’m a lesbian. But Kitty Wilde clearly doesn’t care. I'm just protecting him, that's all. That's what we do. We are twins, after all.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
MASON and MADISON are walking down the hallway together in their cheerios uniforms. They appear to be attached at the hip.
MASON (V.O)
Madison might be my only friend, but I don’t mind. She’s my rock, and I know she’ll be there when I need her. Do I sometimes wish our circle was, well an actual circle and not just a line? Yeah. But Madi’s all I need, really.
As they pass the sign-up board, the camera pans and focuses on a sign-up sheet for the ‘New Directions Glee Club’, with no names besides one, which is something along the lines of ‘P.I.Staker’. The camera pans back to show that a trio had stopped to look at it. Two girls and a boy. One of the girls has short and hot pink hair and an alternative style, Phoenix Lang. The other girl has long braided hair and a more casual style, Lucy (Lu) Thorn. The boy has an oversized hoodie on with the hood pulled over his head, Lance Walters.
PHOENIX
A glee club? At this school?
LU
I’ve heard of the New Directions. They were awesome, back when they existed.
PHOENIX
Well, looks like they exist again. Should we join?
LANCE
Performing onstage? All that exercise? No way.
LU
They’ll need a band, right?
PHOENIX
You guys think what I’m thinking?
The trio share a look, then nod their heads while grinning. Then, they walk away.
EXT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - FOOTBALL FIELD
The team is rushing about while COACH BEISTE yells at them.
COACH BEISTE
Come on, let’s go! My Grandma’s got one leg, and she can run faster than that! Go!
Camera pans to the water cooler station thing, where SAM EVANS is talking to RACHEL BERRY. TONY RODRIQUEZ stumbles over, clearly out of breath.
TONY
Can I get some water?
SAM
Get it yourself-
SPENCER
Could you stop being such a whiny homo and get back in there?
SPENCER moves round to grab himself a drink whilst TONY walks off. RACHEL is shocked.
RACHEL
Um, excuse me, I haven’t been out of this school that long, but when I was here, we worked really hard to make sure bullies like you don’t use words like that.
SAM
Rachel no, it’s cool. Spencer’s totally gay.
SPENCER
Kind of a post-modern gay teen. You see, positive representation of gays in the mass media has given me the confidence I need to be myself. Which, turns out, is kind of an arrogant jerk. Oh, and your show sucked.
SPENCER throws his empty plastic cup at SAM’s head and goes back into training. RACHEL gasps.
SAM
Ain’t he a sweetheart?
RACHEL
Are you gonna let him disrespect you like that?
SAM
Look, like I said, Rachel, I’m the assistant coach. I can’t yell at them like Coach Beiste.
COACH BEISTE
Come on! If salmon had legs, we’d have it for dinner, not for breakfast!
RACHEL
Okay, these guys are really good.
SAM
Yeah, they are. Sue spent the off-season recruiting players from all over the state. She actually bought a, uh, apartment complex for their families to live in. I think it’s legal.
RACHEL
What about the arts? What about music and painting? I mean, it’s not right. What about the kids that don’t play sports?
SAM
Look, Rachel, I agree with you, okay? If you have a problem, take it up with Sue.
RACHEL
I did, remember?
SAM
Oh yeah, you’re starting glee club again. How’s the sign-up sheet looking?
RACHEL
Ugh, don’t even mention that thing to me.
INT. DALTON ACADEMY - HALLWAY
SEBASTIAN SMYTHE is walking down the hall, as fresh-faced as ever, wearing a freshly pressed suit, smiling as people pass him.
SEBASTIAN (V.O)
Alright, I’ll admit it, I’ve not had the best past. And almost all of the bad stuff happened at Dalton. But you can’t always choose where you’re placed. And Dalton pays exceptionally well. Besides, I made a vow to myself after my first disastrous year here, I’d try to do better. Have I made mistakes? Definitely. But I honestly believe that I am doing better. And what better way to right your wrongs than to help future generations? I’m even co-directing the Warblers.
BLAINE ANDERSON falls into step with SEBASTIAN, looking just as refreshed.
BLAINE
So, I have a few songs I think the warblers should go over. I’ll email them to you during lunch.
SEBASTIAN
Sounds good.
JANE (O.S)
Excuse me.
They turn around to see JANE HAYWARD, a black junior, wearing a Dalton academy uniform, with a skirt. SEBASTIAN and BLAINE are slightly confused.
JANE
You’re Mr. Anderson and Mr. Smythe, right? The office told me I needed to talk to you.
BLAINE
Um, not to sound rude or anything but...Dalton is an all-boys school.
JANE
I know. But my father and a few of my uncles went to Dalton and were Warblers, so they went against the school and won. Now, I want to join the Warblers.
SEBASTIAN
Don’t you have any brothers…
JANE
No, I’m an only child. So, can I join?
SEBASTIAN and BLAINE share a look of unease and confusion. Camera goes back to JANE, looking hopeful.
INT. DALTON ACADEMY - THE WARBLER’S MEETING ROOM
The Warblers are sat on couches on either side of a desk with three students sitting behind it: SKYLER in the middle, ELLIOT on his left and THOMAS on his right. Slight away from the students are SEBASTIAN and BLAINE.
SKYLER
A house divided against itself cannot stand
WARBLER#1
This house is built on a foundation of lies. The Warblers is a house of lies.
All the Warblers begin arguing loudly over each other. SKYLER tries to calm everyone down by hitting his gavel but it does nothing.
SKYLER
Order.
He stands up and smacks the gavel down.
SKYLER (CONT.)
ORDER!
BLAINE
Look, look. No decision has been made yet. We’re just presenting the issue for the Warbler Council to discuss. Should female students be allowed to join?
They all go back to arguing loudly. SKYLER looks extremely tired. ELLIOT takes the gavel and smacks it down as he stands up, everyone quietens down. SKYLER looks slightly annoyed.
ELLIOT
What’s next, huh? Cat and dog Warblers? I mean, the very question is risible. How about a student who's a skunk? Should they be allowed to become a Warbler?
GAY WARBLER
We can’t have a girl Warbler. Imagine the sexual tension. We’d never get anything done.
SEBASTIAN
Wait- aren’t most of you guys gay?
The warblers all desperately deny this.
GAY WARBLER
How dare you! I have a girlfriend.
SUPER GAY WARBLER
We all have girlfriends.
SEBASTIAN leans over to BLAINE
SEBASTIAN (whispering)
Crap, we’re teaching Straights.
BLAINE tries not to laugh as SKYLER gets back control over the room.
SKYLER
Order. Order.
SEBASTIAN
I apologise. Warbler, as coaches, we are non-voting members of this body, and once a vote is cast, we will respect the council’s decision. But, let’s be on the right side of history. Now, I’ve been on the wrong side of history, and you cannot take it back once you’ve chosen that path. Dr. King-- he said that the arc of the moral universe bends towards justice, and...isn’t justice all about equal rights and equal opportunity and inclusion?
ELLIOT
What about squirrels? I mean, should squirrels be allowed to join the warblers? The very premise of your argument is laughable.
Once again, the Warblers argue over themselves.
THOMAS
It isn’t a compelling argument if you just use straw-men, Elliot.
SKYLER
Order. Order. Thank you gentlemen for that...high-minded debate. As head Warbler, I’d like to propose a compromise. Why take the unprecedented step of amending the Warbler constitution when we may not even have to? We may be allowed to refuse entry based on gender. Or we may not. That’s an open question. But what is not in question is our right to refuse entry based on talent. What I’m saying is, shouldn’t we first find out if she can even sing? Hmm? All those in favour?
The Warblers harmonise on ‘Aye’.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
RODERICK is looking at the Glee Club sign up sheet nervously. From behind, RACHEL walks over.
RACHEL
Hi!
RODERICK jumps back in shock, pulling his headphones off. RACHEL begins talking a mile a minute and pulling RODERICK into the choir room.
RACHEL (CONT.)
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Miss. Berry, I’m running Glee and I saw you looking at the sign up sheet. It’s open auditions, so you can perform what you like. We’re looking for something under four minutes and something that shows off your voice, and we’ll need to know your vocal type. It’s okay if you don’t know what your vocal type is, I can help you sort that out. Here’s some suggestions if you need any ideas.
Now in the choir room, RACHEL hands RODERICK some sheet music. RODERICK puts it back on the piano and leaves without a word. KURT is also in the choir room, watching the whole thing.
RACHEL (CONT.)
Bye then! Hope to see you at rehearsals!
KURT
Congratulations, you scared him off.
RACHEL
He was looking at the sign up sheet. Which, by the way, is just as barren as before.
KURT
We have to do more than Mr. Shue did. Sue’s got everyone thinking that the arts don’t exist.
Knock at the door. Phoenix, Lance and Lu are standing there.
RACHEL
Hi, are you interested in joining Glee club?
PHOENIX
Not exactly. Have you got a band yet? ‘Cause we’d happily help out.
KURT
Yes! Yes, we need a band. Thank you
RACHEL
What are your names?
PHOENIX
I’m Phoenix, I play drums. This is Lucille, but she prefers Lu. She plays keyboard and guitar. And this is Lance, he plays acoustic guitar and bass.
LANCE
And the harmonica
PHOENIX
And the harmonica
RACHEL
Amazing! Thank you guys so much for offering. Could you please spread the word about Glee? And auditions for vocals will be this friday, after school. They should put down what song they’re performing on the sign-up sheet.
LU
Okay. Cya Friday.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
PHOENIX, LU and LANCE are standing in the hallway as LU is getting something out of her locker.
PHOENIX
So, it’s our job to get a band together for them? Aiden was right, glee kids are spoilt.
LANCE
But we’re gonna do it
LU
Of course we are. The only question is how.
‘It’s All Happening’ begins.
PHOENIX
Mmmmhmmm
LANCE
Mmm to the hmmm
PHOENIX
Alright, my two besties, your attention please.
Listen up, this is how it's gon go
We gonna gather up every band kid we know
We'll get vertical 'til we get vertigo
And show these hoes how to put on a show!
LANCE, LU
We need the very best kids we can find!
PHOENIX
They gotta be strong and they gotta be fine
Do whatcha gotta do wine and dine
But keep this in mind:
Imagine the lights, imagine the people
Imagine us in the middle of the crowd!
Imagine the fame, imagine the fortune!
LANCE, LU
It's all happening!
PHOENIX
Imagine your life and all of the changes
Imagine makin this neighborhood proud!
LU
And they're screaming our names out loud!
LANCE, LU, PHOENIX
It's all happening
EXT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - COURTYARD
LANCE, LU and PHOENIX are talking to a bunch of kids who look rather disinterested.
LU, LANCE, PHOENIX
Listen up this how its gon be
We'll qualify in finals then shine on TV
And we are gonna need a new routine
We need some new dudes on our new team
We need the very best ones we can find!
PHOENIX
It's gonna be hard and it's gonna take time
LANCE, LU, PHOENIX
But if we stay on our grind
PHOENIX
The world is gonna
LANCE, LU, PHOENIX
watch us shine!
KID#1
Hell nah
KID#2
Look who you’re asking
CHARLIE
Glee’s band, you say?
Okay, so people who wouldn't give me the time of day
Are startin a squad and they want me to play?
And if I play I'll be famous?
Gimme a hard one, these are no brainers!
I don't know what these other brothers are thinkin
They must've been drinkin get it and let it sink in!
What are y'all scared?
Y'all think the band is feminine?
Then I'm a feminist swimmin in women gentleman!
Consider it, it's a little different isn't it?
Your thinking is limited give it a minute envision it
There in the middle of seventy women on television
Every little bit of precision is magnificent!
LU, PHOENIX, CHARLIE, LANCE
Imagine the girls!
Imagine the action!
LU
The only boys in the middle of the crew
PHOENIX
Imagine the locker rooms after practices
CHARLIE, LANCE
It's all happening!
LU, PHOENIX
The spins and the twirls, the world's reaction
LANCE
When they see what McKinley can do
CHARLIE, LANCE
Fellas are ya feelin our point of view?
PHOENIX, LU, CHARLIE, LANCE
It's all happening
The group of teens they were talking to begin to walk away.
PHOENIX
C'mon let's go
KID#3
No
PHOENIX, LU, LANCE
Lets go
PHOENIX, LU, LANCE, CHARLIE
Don't say no, whoa!
LU, ( WITH TONY)
(Oh yes!)
Me and La Cienega (accept no less!)
Cruisin la cienega (with no stress!)
Fellas yellin "ven acá"
(Speak inglés,) you tell em and yes
I'm gonna get (much more!)
Paparazzi always comin round (our door!)
And it doesn't matter what we're (famous for!)
Everything we get is gonna be top (drawer!)
LANCE, PHOENIX, LU
And our aim is
To be famous
Soon the world will know what our name is!
Yes our aim is
To be famous
Soon the world will know our name!
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
The group of five are walking down the hallway in a dream-like sequence where everyone wants their autographs.
LANCE, LU, PHOENIX, CHARLIE, TONY
Imagine the lights!, imagine the people!
Imagine us in the middle of the crowd!
Imagine the fame imagine the fortune!
It's all happening!
Imagine your life and all of the changes!
Imagine making our neighborhood proud!
And they're screaming our names out loud!
It's all happening!
Fades back into reality over the next few lines.
PHOENIX, LU, LANCE
And the truth is
We can do this
If we start right now and pursue this
We'll get through this
And we know this
So let's go, put the whole world on notice!
PHOENIX
Who's in?
I’m in
LU (CHARLIE)
I'm in! (I'm in!)
LANCE (TONY)
I'm in! (I'm in!)
LU, LANCE (CHARLIE, TONY)
I'm in! (I'm in!)
PHOENIX, LU, LANCE, CHARLIE, TONY
I'm in!
LANCE, LU, PHOENIX, CHARLIE, TONY
We can leave behind the world we know
Lets go!
Lets go!
Lets go!
PHOENIX, LU, LANCE (CHARLIE, TONY)
We gotta go (get your hands up!)
(Woah-oh!)
We gotta go (get your hands up!)
(Woah-oh!)
We gotta go (get your hands up!)
TONY, CHARLIE, PHOENIX, LANCE, LU
Woah-oh!
We gotta go, let's go! lets go! lets go!
It's all happening!
INT. DALTON ACADEMY - HALLWAY
JANE is walking down a set of spiral stairs with SEBASTIAN urshing after her.
SEBASTIAN
Jane, please stop.
She stops and turns to face him, clearly upset about something.
JANE
I’m sorry, Mr. Smyther, but it’s ridiculous.
SEBASTIAN
I know it sucks. But sometimes you have to smile and be polite to people who might not deserve it.
JANE
No offence, but this isn’t smiling and being polite. They want me to audition just to determine whether or not I’m good enough for them to take a closer look at their already sexist and arbitrary rules.
SEBASTIAN
I know you’re angry. I would be too. But just...swallow your pride. It’s not fair, and it’s not right. But if you do this, then you’re opening up the doors for all students to join the Warblers.
JANE
I don’t want to be a trendsetter, Mr. Smythe. I just want to join a Glee Club and sing. (pause, breath) Okay, I’ll audition.
SEBASTIAN
Great! I know the perfect person to help prepare you. If she doesn't kill me first.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - AUDITORIUM
RACHEL is on stage, by a piano, with a slightly forced smile, as SEBASTIAN and JANE walk towards her.
JANE
Aren’t you running another Glee Club? Why’re you helping me?
RACHEL
Well, I figured you’re fighting this fight for all girls. Believe me, I’m not doing this for Mr. Smythe.
RACHEL gives SEBASTIAN an ugly side-eye.
SEBASTIAN
Thank you, Rachel. (to JANE) Well, you’re in safe hands. Can’t wait to see you perform.
SEBASTIAN leaves.
RACHEL
Now, let’s start, shall we? Stand centre stage.
JANE follows RACHEL’s instructions.
RACHEL (CONT.)
Shoulders back. Stand tall. You need to command the audience with your body language. Good. What song are you going to sing?
JANE
Uh, it’s a tradition in my family to audition with ‘Hey Jude’-
RACHEL holds her hand out, which stops JANE.
RACHEL
Pass me your phone, please.
JANE passes her phone to RACHEL, who begins to scroll through it.
RACHEL (CONT.)
Well, the most played song on here is ‘Tightrope’ by Janelle Monae.
JANE
It’s incredible, she’s incredible.
RACHEL passes the phone back with a smile.
RACHEL
I think you’ve found your audition song.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - AUDITORIUM
RACHEL and KURT are sat in the audience with a table in front of them. They each have a notepad in front of them, with a pen each.
RACHEL
I don’t think anyone’s coming. I mean, what more can we do?
KURT
Performing in the cafeteria usually works.
RACHEL
I was hoping we wouldn’t do something to get us slushied anymore.
KURT
I think us being slushied is inevitable at this point.
RODERICK walks onto stage hesitantly. Behind him is PHOENIX, LANCE, LU, TONY and CHARLIE, all with their instruments. They’ve been there for as long as RACHEL and KURT have been. TONY is on a trumpet and CHARLIE is holding a saxophone.
RODERICK
Are-uh. Are the auditions still open?
RACHEL and KURT share a giant smile, before RACHEL takes the mic.
RACHEL
Yes, yes they are! What’s your name, and what will you sing for us?
RODERICK
Uh, I’m Roderick Meeks. And I’ll be singing Mustang Sally.
Behind him, the band gets ready to play as ‘Mustang Sally’ plays.
RODERICK(CONT.)
Mustang Sally, huh, ha
Guess you better slow your mustang down, oh Lord
What I said now
Mustang Sally now baby, oh Lord
Guess you better slow your mustang down, huh, oh yeah
You been running all over town now
Oh, guess I have to put your flat feet on the ground, huh
What I said now
Listen
RODERICK (PHOENIX, LU)
All you want to do is ride around Sally
(ride, Sally, ride) Huh
All you want to do is ride around Sally (ride, Sally, ride) Huh
All you want to do is ride around Sally (ride, Sally, ride) Ha
All you want to do is ride around Sally, oh Lord (ride, Sally, ride)
Well isn't it
One of these early mornings, hey (Ah)
Woah, gonna be wiping your weeping eyes, huh
What I said now, lookit here
I bought you a brand new mustang
A nineteen sixty five, huh
Now you come around signifying a woman
You don't want to let me ride
Mustang Sally now baby, oh lord (Oooooh)
Guess you better slow that mustang down, huh, oh Lord
Lookit
You've been running all over town
Oh, I got to put your flat feet on the ground, huh
What I say now
Let me say it one more time, y'all
All you want to do is ride around Sally (ride, Sally, ride) Huh
All you want to do is ride around Sally (ride, Sally, ride) Ha
All you want to do is ride around Sally, oh Lord (ride, Sally, ride)
Well isn't it
One of these early mornings, hey (Ah)
Woah, gonna be wiping your weeping eyes,
What I said!
What I said now!
Oh lord (ride, Sally, ride)
RACHEL and KURT applaud him.
RACHEL
Thank you, Roderick! We’ll be in touch.
KURT turns to her.
KURT
Why not just tell him now?
RACHEL
(to RODERICK) You’re in!
INT. DALTON ACADEMY - THE WARBLER’S MEETING ROOM
All the Warblers are sat around like before, with SEBASTIAN and BLAINE stood by the door. Everyone is facing them.
BLAINE
Gentlemen, we are pleased to introduce, Miss. Jane Hayward.
They open the doors and JANE walks in. SEBASTIAN hits play on a stereo and ‘Tightrope’ begins to play.
JANE
Whoa
Another day
I'll take your pain away
Some people talk about you
Like they know all about you
When you get down they doubt you
And when you tipping on the scene
Yeah they talkin' about it
Cause they can't tip all on the scene with you talkin' about it
T-t-t-talkin' about it
When you get elevated
They love it or they hate it
You dance up on them haters
Keep getting funky on the scene
While they jumpin' round you
They trying to take all your dreams
But you can't allow it
JANE (THE WARBLERS)
Cause, baby, whether you're high or low
Whether you're high or low
You got to tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
T-t-t-tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
Baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
You got to tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Now let me see you do the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
JANE
See I'm not walkin' on it
Or trying to run around it
This ain't no acrobatics
You either follow or you lead, yeah
I'm talkin' about you
I'll keep on blaming the machine, yeah
I'm talkin' about it
T-t-t-talkin' about it
I can't complain about it
I gotta keep my balance
And just keep dancing on it
We gettin funky on the scene
Yeah you know about it
Like a star on the screen
Watch me tip all on it
JANE (THE WARBLERS)
Then, baby, whether I'm high or low (High or low)
Baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
You gotta tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Yeah, tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
Baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
Tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Baby let me see you tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
JANE, THE WARBLERS
I tip on alligators
And little rattlesnakes
But I'm another flavor
Something like a terminator
Ain't no equivocating
I fight for what I believe
Why you talkin' about it
Sh-sh-she's talkin' about it
Some calling me a sinner
Some calling me a winner
I'm calling you to dinner
Hey, you know exactly what I mean
Yeah I'm talking about you
You can rock or you can leave
Watch me tip without you
JANE (THE WARBLERS)
Now-now-now whether I'm high or low (High or low)
Whether I'm high or low (High or low)
I'm gonna tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Oooh (Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, whether I'm high or low (High or low)
Low-low-low-low (High or low)
I gotta tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Now baby tip on the tightrope
You can't get too high (You can't get too high)
I said you can't get too low (You can't get too low)
Hah, cause you get too high (Cause you get too high)
No, you'll surely be low (No, you'll surely be low)
1, 2, 3, hah
Yeah, yeah
Now, maybe whether I'm high or low (High or low)
Baby whether you're high or low (High or low)
You gotta tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Yeah tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
Baby, whether you're high or low (High or low)
You got to tip on the tightrope (Tip, tip on it)
Baby let me see your tightrope
Let me hear
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You-you
Hoo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You got to give it up, oh
Oooooo yeah, yeah
You've got to stay on the scene
Yeah, yeah
Tightrope
Hey, yeah, yeah
The Warblers applaud her. ELLIOT looks slightly annoyed, THOMAS looks impressed and SKYLER has no emotion on his face other than politeness. SEBASTIAN and BLAINE look confident and proud. JANE also looks confident and proud, bowing to the council.
INT. DALTON ACADEMY - HALLWAY
JANE is sat on a chair outside the Warbler’s meeting room, slightly anxious but mostly hopeful and proud. Finally, the door opens and SEBASTIAN and BLAINE walk out, with sad faces.
BLAINE
We’re sorry, Jane. The council voted and...they decided to keep to tradition.
JANE’s face falls.
SEBASTIAN
But don’t worry. We’ve already talked and we’ll go to the principal. And if he doesn’t side with us, then the superintendent. We’ll tell them that if you’re not part of the glee club-
JANE
You’ll put your jobs on the line so I can join a club where no one even wants me?
BLAINE
Some of them want you
SEBASTIAN
And it’s not just that, this is about right and wrong-
JANE
Thank you, both of you, for everything you’ve done for me. But...if they don’t want me, I don’t want them.
JANE leaves.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - GUYS LOCKER ROOM
SPENCER and TONY are getting changed after practice. The locker room is mostly empty.
SPENCER
So, how’d those auditions go? How many losers do you have to play for?
TONY(sadly)
One, so I don’t think I’ll be playing much.
SPENCER immediately becomes more sympathetic.
SPENCER
I’m sorry, man. But this school just isn’t an artsy place.
TONY
‘Cause of Principal Sylvester! This place used to be known for its Glee Club. They won Nationals! And now, now we only have one guy trying out because of Principal Sylvester.
SPENCER
(pause) That was a dif-
TONY
A different time, I know! You’ve told me that plenty of times. So’s Coach Bieste and Coach Evans. I’m not stupid, y’know. I did research on this, and the arts make people more empathetic. You should be helping us.
SPENCER (defensively)
Why should I?
TONY
To help other LGBTQIA+ kids who aren’t able to beat up anyone with a stare alone.
SPENCER doesn't respond, and just turns away from TONY, who huffs in annoyance.
TONY
I’m not saying you should go running down the halls with a pride flag or anything. Just...think about joining Glee?
SPENCER glares at him.
TONY (CONT.)
You have a great voice! And so what if you can’t dance? From some of the clips I watched of the old New Directions, some of them couldn’t either. And think of the message it would send.
SPENCER thinks for a moment, looking away from TONY, before walking away.
SPENCER
Not doing it, Tony.
TONY sighs, and slams his locker closed.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CAFETERIA
RODERICK is sat with ALISTAIR. RODERICK is upset and ALISTAIR is trying to comfort him.
ALISTAIR
Maybe some more kids will try out, now that they won’t be the first.
RODERICK
They won’t even notice someone else has even joined. I told you, I’m invisible.
ALISTAIR
Well, I can see you just fine.
RODERICK cracks a smile at ALISTAIR’s joke. PHOENIX, LANCE, LU and CHARLIE appear by the table.
LU
Mind if we sit with you guys?
RODERICK and ALISTAIR share a look.
RODERICK
Uh, sure.
The four of them sit down.
CHARLIE
Roderick, right? Your audition was awesome.
RODERICK
Thanks.
CHARLIE
Oh, I’m Charlie. This is Phoenix, Lu and Lance.
PHOENIX
Fair warning, Charlie can be a bit full-on sometimes.
CHARLIE
Meanie!
LANCE
Who’s your friend?
ALISTAIR
I’m Alistair Richie.
LANCE
Nice to meet you.
LU
Can you sing? ‘Cause we need more Glee members.
ALISTAIR
Uh, not really, sorry.
PHOENIX
At this point, we’ll literally take anybody, so… Anyway, Roderick, how are you finding McKinley?
RODERICK
Uh, it’s alright, I guess.
Their conversation drifts off as the camera pans around the room to JANE, who has just walked in, wearing a smart but casual outfit, holding a backpack and looking around. She heads to the line for food and ends up behind the McCarthy twins. KITTY is in front of them.
MADISON
We were just looking.
KITTY
Trust me, Glee is crazy. Besides, can’t you sing all the love duets you want in your house?
JANE
What’s that supposed to mean?
The three cheerios turn to JANE, as if just noticing her. KITTY narrows her eyes, clearly not liking her tone.
KITTY
Who are you?
JANE(sharply)
Who are you?
KITTY
You better watch yourself.
KITTY turns back around. The twins share a look before turning back to JANE.
MASON
Thanks.
JANE
No problem.
MADISON
She’s wrong, y’know. All the rumours are wrong.
JANE
Yeah, I assumed so. I’m Jane Hayward. Just transferred from Dalton Academy.
MASON
Isn’t that an all-boys school?
JANE
My family fought them for me to go. I’m a legacy. Then they wouldn’t let me join the glee club. So, I transferred here to join New Directions.
MASON
Cool. You seem cool.
JANE
Thanks. You seem cool too.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CHOIR ROOM
RACHEL is sitting at the piano, looking hopeless. On top of the piano are piles of sheet music that seem to be worthless now.
RACHEL
What was even the point?
She closes the lid to the piano.
RACHEL
I screwed everything up, and now what? I really thought I could just show up and change things? God, I really am delusional.
‘Let it go’ begins.
RACHEL
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen
She stands up and steps away from the piano.
RACHEL (CONT.)
And the wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - HALLWAY
RACHEL is storming down the halls with determination.
RACHEL
It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
EXT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - COURTYARD
RACHEL is standing on the concrete part of the courtyard.
RACHEL
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - CHOIR ROOM
RACHEL storms inside.
RACHEL
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Camera pans out as she begins shifting back through the sheet music. The camera stops at the doorway, where JANE is standing. She knocks on the doorframe, and RACHEL looks up and smiles at her.
RACHEL(CONT.)
Hi, Jane, right? How’s the Warblers?
JANE
I wouldn’t know. They wouldn’t let me in. So, I transferred to McKinley. Thanks to Principal Sylvester, test scores are just as good as any private school. My point is, I want to join your glee club.
RACHEL (hesitantly)
I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
JANE
You only have one member right? So, you need more. And here I won’t have to fight for solos.
RACHEL
You’ll always have to fight for solos.
JANE
At least here it would be a fair fight. Please, Miss. Berry. I love singing, and I can’t be in a school where I’m not allowed to. I’m begging you here.
RACHEL hesitates, before smiling and nodding her head. JANE brightens up and hugs her, before awkwardly pulling back.
JANE (CONT.)
Sorry, that wasn't professional. I’ll audition, if you want. To make sure I can sing.
RACHEL
You’ll need to prepare a song, no longer than four minutes, something that shows off your voice. I’m guessing you’ll do Tightrope again?
JANE
That song’s kind of tainted for me now...I’ll think of something. Thank you, Miss. Berry.
INT. MCKINLEY HIGHSCHOOL - AUDITORIUM
RACHEL and KURT are stood on stage with RODERICK, PHOENIX, LU, LANCE, CHARLIE and TONY.
RACHEL
It’s tradition for the first official Glee Club meeting to be in the Auditorium. And this is even more special as we have someone else wanting to join.
CHARLIE
Who?
LU
We do?
TONY
Is it Spence?
RODERICK
Is it Alistair
PHOENIX
Can they sing?
RACHEL
We are about to find out. So, band, please set up while us and Roderick take seats in the audience.
They all do what RACHEL said as JANE walks on stage.
JANE
My name is Jane Hayward. And I’ll be singing ‘King of Anything’ by Sara Bareilles.
‘King of Anything’ begins to play.
JANE
Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by
You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time,
And try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast
I hate to break it to you babe, but I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset
I'm not the one who's lost with no direction
But you'll never see
You're so busy making masks with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening
And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
All my life I've tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
Let me hold your crown, babe
RODERICK, RACHEL and KURT applaud her and KURT takes the mic on their little desk.
KURT
Welcome to the New Directions!