Chapter Text
Nerves quickly take over as the ceremony comes to a close. Suga and Daichi are consumed by the crowd nearly instantaneously, leaving Asahi to his spiraling thoughts. Their fellow graduates are all splitting off to their friends and family, club members such as himself breaking off to the clubrooms. Asahi slumps down, ducking around a corner as he gathers a few moments of peace.
He sits heavily on the concrete, rolling the diploma in his hands as he runs over his plan. Each time he goes over his words, they seem to deteriorate and stray further from what he means to say. Although this conversation may not be the most pleasant one, there’s no reason it should be this complicated. All possible outcomes play in Asahi’s mind on loop, each one making his stomach drop a little more, his throat feel a little tighter. He allows his head to thump against the wall, taking a deep breath to force out the chatter in his skull.
As the crowd thins, he ducks from his hiding place, quickly making his way to the team with sweaty palms and trembling limbs. Several vaguely familiar faces call out their congratulations to him, he winces at each half-assed “thank you'' he responds with, his throat feeling far too dry for the circumstances.
The rest of the team already awaits outside of their clubroom, Suga and Daichi leading the main conversation. They’re both smiling and laughing, Daichi nudging a red-faced Enoshita who, no doubt, is still struggling with his very new captain status. His eyes inevitably search for one person in particular, who happens to be away from the group, half-heartedly glaring at Tanaka as the taller laughs.
It’s Tanaka who spots him first.
“Asahi-san!” He grins, waving him over. “Suga-san was guessing you must’ve died after being in front of your whole class for that long.”
He tries to ignore the blush rising on his cheeks as Nishinoya’s eyes find his in an instant.
“And?” Suga prompts, pushing off the wall to sling an arm around Asahi as he reaches them. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Will I ever get a break?” Asahi sighs, smiling nonetheless.
Daichi just snorts, shaking his head as Suga grins.
“Asahi-san!” Nishinoya jumps onto his side, making them both stumble before Asahi catches them. “Congrats!” He smiles up at Asahi, eyes crinkled at the edges and a laugh bubbling up his throat, before stepping back to wack the older’s arm.
Asahi winces, rubbing his arm as he laughs, trying not to be blinded by Noya’s grin. “Thanks, Noya.” He smiles softly at the other, quickly becoming too aware of their close proximity that Noya appears oblivious to.
“Oi, let the guy breathe, man.” Tanaka snickers, yanking Noya away by his collar, inciting a short scrabble between the two.
Enoshita yells at them, snatching the backs of both of their shirts. Asahi lets out a relieved breath, knowing that the team is being left in good hands.
“Don’t tell me you’re already getting sentimental.” Daichi chides, raising an eyebrow as Asahi glares back. “In a week you’ll be talking about the “good old days” I swear-” He gets cut off as Asahi shoves his shoulder into Daichi’s.
Hinata scrambles up to them. “Don’t worry Asahi-san, I’ll take over as ace and score all the points-”
“Oi!” Tanaka roars, grabbing Hinata’s head. “Watch it, buddy. We all know who the real ace is.” Hinata pouts at him, pushing away Tanaka’s hands as he retreats to an exhausted-looking Kageyama.
“Of course we do, Tanaka,” Enoshita reassures, passing by his vice-captain, “me.”
Tanaka’s jaw drops, standing in place before scampering after the other as he walks towards the gym, his rapid questions and Enoshita’s laughter echoing softly.
“All right!” Daichi claps, getting the rest’s attention. “Everyone head to the gym, we’ll be right behind you.”
The team gives the third years a few more “congrats!” before trailing off after their new captains. Hinata and Kageyama break into a sprint after Tsukishima mutters something to them, their instant reactions making Yamaguchi laugh.
“Um, Noya?” Asahi grabs the other’s shoulder before he can follow. “Would you mind waiting for a minute?”
Daichi and Suga share a quick look and twin smirks that Asahi chooses to ignore.
“Yeah, ‘course! What’s up?” Noya turns fully, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking up expectantly.
“Want us to meet you two there?” Suga asks, feigning innocence as Daichi snickers behind him.
“No,” Asahi states, his voice cracking. “No. I need to- This-” He groans, dropping his face into an unsteady hand. “I need to tell you guys something. Important.”
The three go surprisingly quiet, all looking at him patiently as Asahi fidgets, taking deep breaths.
“Alright,” Suga starts, “what’s up?”
When he raises his head, finding his friend’s familiar, curious, gazes all on him, the urge to come up with an excuse bubbles up again. An urge he has to crush, forcing the first part of his planned speech to fall from his lips.
“You know that my parents want me to go to business school, and work with my Dad, right?” The question comes out surprisingly steady, his voice level as his nerves spike.
“Yeah?” Daichi confirms, his head tilting slightly.
“You planning on running away Asahi-san?” Noya jokes, smiling. “Disobeying your parents' wishes? Becoming a bad boy?”
Daichi smacks the back of Noya’s head, badly suppressed laughter killing any real implications of disapproval.
“Yeah, so are you planning on doing something else? Or?” Suga asks, attempting to get him back on track.
“Yes.” Asahi croaks. “And I’m already, sort of, doing it? Well, my parents don’t know. I mean, they know I do, but not like, what I’m currently doing with it.” He cringes, his words stumbling over each other in their rush to be understood and heard.
“No no, please be even more vague.” Daichi muses, his confusion mirrored across Suga’s and Noya’s expressions.
Asahi worries his lip, quickly spitting it out. “I got accepted into my dream school, for my dream job, and I’m going.”
They stare for a second, waiting for him to continue. The three smile as Asahi leaves the statement be.
“Asahi-san! That’s awesome.” Noya grins, hitting the taller’s arm again.
Asahi nods slowly, giving them a guilty smile in return.
“Yeah, what’s got you so worked up? I’m sure your parents will be perfectly fine with you going.” Daichi points out, his lopsided smile dimmed by his furrowed brows.
“Well, what is it? The job, I mean.” Suga asks. “It’s gotta be weird since you’re not telling us.” He laughs through his last sentence, cocking his head as Asahi still remains silent.
Asahi looks back at the ground. “Yeah, that’s-” He stops himself, pausing as he goes through his options. “-that’s kinda the thing. I’m not telling anyone. I’m going to basically fall off the face of the Earth for a year or two. I need to.” He doesn’t raise his head, clearing his throat as it grows harder to speak. “I need to be completely on my own for a while, I have something good going. Really good. I know I can do something, but I-” He cuts himself off, wincing as blood wells at the corner of his nail he’d been nervously attacking. He gulps, his ramblings no longer defending against the crushing silence his friends have unknowingly created.
The wind picks up, giving the cool summer evening a bit of bite, enough to multiply the goosebumps across Asahi’s skin. The rustling of trees and their team's loud, distant, voices fill up the void of sound he has left. He scuffs his foot against the concrete, fighting the urge to turn his back to the clubroom’s outside wall and curl up, away from his friend’s questioning gazes.
“W-” Suga stutters, his mouth hanging open. “Huh?”
“So, like,” Noya scoffs, “you’re going off to some random school, not telling anyone where or what it is, and cutting everyone off?”
“Noya,” Suga murmurs.
Asahi stays silent, alternate word patterns filling his head in vain.
“Well?” Noya demands.
Pushing all thoughts aside, Asahi stands straight, looking at his visibly unsettled teammates. His mouth opens and closes, slowly recalling the practiced words he so painstakingly chose. “I know what I’m doing. I’ll give my brother my address and my school, so if something happens, you’ll know where I am, so I’ll be safe. I’ll try my best to keep in contact, not every day, because I really do need to do this on my own, but I’ll make sure you guys know I’m alive.” A small laugh dies in his throat. He worries his lip, wincing as Noya’s glare deepens, trying to, instead, decipher Daichi’s and Suga’s expressions.
Daichi lets out an exasperated breath, shaking his head as his disbelieving smile grows. “You, Asahi Azumane, want to leave everything familiar behind and start a secret life? I didn’t think this was your type of thing.”
“That’s kinda the point.” Asahi admits, rubbing the back of his neck, watching as Daichi directs his attention back to Suga, giving him a slight nudge.
Suga steps forward after leveling Asahi with an evaluating look, whacking his abused arm. “Alright.”
Asahi furrows his brow, cradling his shoulder lightly. “‘Alright?’”
“You have my approval.” Suga decides, nodding.
“Yes, because he so desperately wanted your approval.” Daichi comments, snickering as Suga shoves him.
Asahi lets his posture slightly relax, a bit of relief washing over him at his friends’ positive reactions. He attempts to keep his gaze trained on the two, rather than glance at Noya, who seems intent on glaring a hole through Asahi.
Noya huffs, drawing their attention to him. “Asahi, can you even afford to do this? If you aren’t planning on telling your parents, who’s going to pay for anything?” He pauses, eyes demanding Asahi to look at him. “Have you really thought this through?”
“Noya-” Daichi starts.
“No, he’s right to ask.” Asahi cuts in. “Everything is handled. I,” Asahi hesitates, reluctant to continue, “got a, well. I got a full scholarship.” He winces as they all go bug-eyed at him, Nishinoya quickly correcting his expression back into disapproval. He can’t feel offended at their surprise, his grades have never been anything to write home about, nor has he suddenly changed his mind about any sort of professional sports.
“Holy shit Asahi.” Suga finally wheezes.
Asahi shrugs with a slight wince, trying to smile even with Noya’s harsh glare directed at him.
“Well,” Daichi speaks up after glancing between Noya and Asahi, his expression flitting between confusion and surprise, “why don’t we talk more about this later, and we’ll meet you two at the gym?” He proposes, already dragging Suga away.
“Sounds good,” Noya replies for both of them, not moving his gaze from Asahi.
The two are silent as Suga and Daichi walk away, their not-so-quiet murmurs muddled by the blood rushing in Asahi’s ears.
Noya remains silent as he steps up to Asahi, sliding down the wall behind him. Asahi sinks next to him, letting their shoulders brush, feeling close to tears with relief when Noya leans into him.
“Why?” Noya murmurs, his voice muffled by his arms. “I’m always going to be supportive, and happy for you when you get opportunities like this, but why drop everyone to do it?”
Asahi glances at Noya, catching the boy’s eye. Noya’s presence has always been so large, making Asahi feel small next to him. He constantly demands acknowledgment and proves himself when doubted. Asahi has looked up to the younger boy since they met, his respect for him growing with each day the other pushed him to be better. Throughout all that, this is the first time he’s seen how small the boy truly is.
“I’m not sure I can explain it now.” Asahi admits, guilt clear on his face.
Noya stares back bitterly. “You’re going to leave like this? Without a real explanation for any of it? I’m so happy that you get to go study for your dream job or whatever. I’m happy, but I wish I knew what the fuck you were studying in the first place. You can’t even tell us that?”
Asahi looks away, unable to look at Noya’s foggy eyes. “I’ve made my mind up, and I promise I’ll explain when I make it.”
“When you what now?”
“I’ll explain then?” Asahi jokes, wincing at first, but proud when Noya lets out a soft snort. He straightens, looking at Noya directly. “I’ll take you out to dinner when I come home. I’ll answer anything you ask.”
Noya raises an eyebrow, drawing Asahi’s eyes back to him. “Dinner, huh? You buying me off with food?” He scoffs, a sliver of a smile playing on his lips. “This is going to suck. So hard.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“You really gotta do this?”
Asahi looks over, seeing Noya’s defeated expression. He nods. “In addition to dinner, I’ll text you the most.”
Noya laughs again, a bit more genuine, pushing himself up and dragging Asahi with him. “You have a deal. And we’ll talk about this more later, right?”
Asahi nods, happily being pulled to the gym by Noya, their hands clasped the whole time.