Chapter Text
Katsuki is eating dinner when he hears a muffled thump coming from upstairs. Katsuki rolls his eyes and resolves to ignore it. The shitnerd probably tripped over the world's flattest surface and faceplanted again.
Except the thump-thump-thump does not stop, and is in fact getting closer, coming from the staircase, and accompanied by noises that approximately resemble a squawking cockatoo and a cackling hyena — Kaminari and Sero, Katsuki's brain helpfully supplies. Katsuki has a minor existential crisis when he realizes that he has spent enough time around Dunce Face and Soy Sauce to be able to identify them solely by their animalistic shrieks.
Sure enough, Kaminari and Sero come tumbling down the stairwell in the very next moment, elbows shoved into each others' sides. Both of them immediately lock eyes with Katsuki. Shit.
"Bakugou!" Kaminari demands, bum-rushing the table. Katsuki's plate of curry jumps. "You're a dog person, right?"
Before Katsuki can even think of responding, Sero has instantly popped up on Katsuki's other side like a demonic jack-in-the-box. "Don't be an idiot," Sero scolds. "Bakugou's obviously a cat person. Right, Bakugou?"
"I'm a fuck-off-right-the-fuck-now person," Katsuki growls, glaring down at his half-eaten plate of curry. All he wanted was to eat dinner in peace. He hopes against hope that they take his advice and fuck off right the fuck now.
They do not.
"Did you hear that?" Kaminari gloats. "He's totally a dog person."
Sero scoffs. "Excuse you, did you even hear a word in that sentence? That's exactly the kind of answer you'd get from a cat person."
Katsuki gnashes his teeth and growls again.
"See! There it is again! Only dogs growl."
"You say that as though you've never heard Bakugou hiss before. I'm telling you, cats."
"Territorial instinct. Definitely a dog person."
"Textbook sociopathy. Clearly a cat person."
"You shitheads, I'm sitting right here."
"Look Bakugou, all you have to do is answer the question!" Kaminari pleads. "As long as you say dogs."
"Don't listen to him. Say cats."
Katsuki flicks an incredulous glare between the two of them, torn between giving them whatever answer will make them fuck off the fastest and stubbornly refusing to participate in whatever dumbass bullshit they are concocting. "Just fuck off!"
"But you have to have an opinion!" Kaminari protests.
Sero nods manically. "Exactly! Wars have been fought over less."
Katsuki cannot begin to express how much he absolutely fucking does not care. "Why the fuck does it even matter?" he scowls.
Kaminari slams a fist into the table. "Because Hanta thinks cats are better and he has never been more wrong about anything in his life, ever."
"Big talk coming from the losing team," Sero crows back.
"We're only down by one!" Kaminari protests. "Besides, it's not over yet. We have four people left to go in the dorm."
"Then go bother the fuck out of them," Katsuki grunts.
"Don't be so catty, Bakugou."
"I swear to fuck, if the two of you don't —"
"All bark and no bite."
Katsuki glares at them. "Huh. You know what, I just became busy on Thursday."
Kaminari frowns. "But I thought you agreed we could do a study group for math on Thursday."
"What a coincidence," Katsuki drawls. "Looks like you'll have to do it without me."
Both Kaminari and Sero pale. "We'll be good!" Kaminari promises. It's a damn lie, but Katsuki will take what he can fucking get.
Fortunately, Katsuki is saved from the inquisition by the common room door opening. Kaminari and Sero's eyes immediately fasten on the new entrants like sharks on chum.
"Oh, hey, Kaminari, Sero — whoa, what's — where's…?" Deku's annoyingly chirpy voice falters as Kaminari and Sero teleport over to the front door in record time. Beside him, Tsuyu already looks completely done, a sentiment Katsuki can fully get behind.
Sero speaks first, circling Deku like a tiger. "So, Midoriya. Cats?"
"Or dogs?" Kaminari demands, circling Deku on the opposite side, teeth bared wolfishly.
"Uhhhhh," Deku flails. "What?"
Sero imperceptibly inches closer. "Cats?"
Kaminari's eyes glint. "Or dogs?"
"There is only one correct answer, Midoriya."
"You're either with us or against us."
Deku's eyes bounce from Kaminari to Sero nervously as they tighten the loop, as if he's just realized he's a rabbit caught between two hungry carnivores. And unlike Katsuki, who has the leverage of a math test hanging over their heads, Deku has no such blackmail on his side, and is therefore royally fucked. Deku gulps, seeming to come to grips with the reality that there is no way out of this. His eyes at last settle on Katsuki.
"Help me," he mouths.
Katsuki flips him off.
"So, Midoriya, what'll it be?" Sero says, voice deadly serious.
Deku swallows again. "Uh. I guess, if I had to pick… I'd choose dogs?" Deku says with a half-smile.
Kaminari whoops as Sero shrieks in betrayal. "Hear that, Hanta? Team Dog is making a comeback!"
"I prefer dogs, too, kero," Tsuyu pipes up from Deku's side.
"But why?" Sero demands, barely audible over a second loud cheer from Kaminari.
Tsuyu shrugs. "Cats are fine, but they don't like water much."
"That makes sense, I guess," Sero acquiesces, but still looks like he's ready to set something on fire.
"I'm sorry, did you miss the part where dogs are now in the lead?" Kaminari brags. "Just admit that you're wrong, Hanta, and we can all move on and enjoy rubbing it in your face."
"We're not done yet," Sero insists. "We're still missing — Todoroki!" he realizes, eyes widening once he spots Bowl Cut's trademark bowl cut popping out from above the couch cushions.
Todoroki turns to them and blinks. "Oh. Hello, Sero. Do you need something?" he asks, as though he hasn't been sitting in the common room the entire damn time and doesn't know exactly what the fuck is going on.
"Yes!" Sero eagerly agrees. "I need you to tell me that cats are better than dogs."
Todoroki nods. "Okay."
Kaminari makes a strangled noise. "Wha — that's cheating!"
"No it isn't! No backsies!"
Katsuki rolls his eyes again. At least he's managed to finish his curry and can now get the hell out of Dodge without having to endure another minute of whatever the fuck this is.
"It can't end in a tie, though!"
"But how can it be a tie? Kouda said he was neutral — which, I get, I guess — so we should have 19 people. Which means we're only missing…"
Katsuki's heart sinks. He doesn't know why he turns, but when he does, Kaminari and Sero are both staring at him with predatory eyes.
"Fuck no," Katsuki tells them, taking an instinctive step back.
"Bakugou," Sero starts, inching toward him.
"I'm not a part of this. I will explodo-kill you," Katsuki threatens.
"It's a simple question," Kaminari pleads.
"You will flunk without me," Katsuki reminds them.
"A price I am willing to pay," Sero says.
"Your priorities are fucked."
"Sacrifices must be made in the name of knowledge," Kaminari agrees.
Katsuki bares his teeth and selectively ignores the no-quirk dorm policy, letting loose a shower of sparks from his hands. His eyes dart around the room, from Todoroki on the couch, who just looks mildly amused, to Tsuyu, whose face is blank and inscrutable, to Deku, who has the smallest, smuggest smirk running up his face, as if to say that karma's a bitch, Kacchan.
Yeah, fuck you, too, Deku.
For the second time that evening, the dorm room door saves Katsuki's hide, opening with a loud creak. Everybody's attention immediately darts to it, and Katsuki breathes a sigh of relief when he realizes it is Kirishima, thank all that is holy.
That relief quickly morphs into confusion when Kirishima, apparently not having noticed that anyone is in the common room, attempts to creep in as stealthily as it is possible to do while hefting a giant cardboard box in both arms. The box is cradled as though holding something precious, and Katsuki can see the slightest hint of a nervous expression on his face.
"Welcome back, Eijirou, fellow cat person," Sero greets.
"Welcome back, Eijirou, you traitor," Kaminari adds.
The greeting makes Kirishima jump, and he scrambles to move the box so it is tucked behind his back. His body isn't big enough to hide it, though, and the box is still clearly visible.
"Oh, wow, uh, hey guys!" Kirishima chuckles weakly. "What are you all doing here?"
The entire room stares at him — or, more precisely, at the box he is failing to hide behind his back.
"Shitty Hair," Katsuki says, breaking the silence. "What's in the box?"
"Box? What box?" Kirishima parrots.
"The box you're holding behind your back, kero."
"Oh! That box! Haha, there's nothing in the box, it's totally empty!" Kirishima says through a nervous laugh.
The entire room stares more at him. The silence is total.
The box rustles.
"Um. Kirishima," Deku tries. "Did the box just move?"
"What? No way, Midoriya, my dude. My man. My bro. My —"
The box rustles again.
"Dude," Sero says. "There's noise coming from it, obviously there's something in the box."
Kirishima winces, realization apparently finally dawning that he's been caught. "Well. Let's say, just as an example, that you're walking back from the training area. And also, just as an example, there's a sad-sounding noise coming from the bushes and you know it would be super unmanly not to even look, and…"
Now that Katsuki looks at it more closely, he can see small, circular holes cut into the sides of the cardboard, and what looks like a towel sticking out of the top. Katsuki's brain begins putting the pieces together. He does not like where this is going.
Katsuki takes a deep breath. "Shitty Hair. What's in the box."
"…I think you already know."
No sooner do the words leave his lips than does the box rustle violently, and Kirishima loses his grip. The box tumbles sideways onto the floor, the lid off, and a very small, very black ball of fluff escapes the box and freezes in the middle of the common room floor.
The cat is still a kitten, but looks old enough to have been weaned. It is still growing into its body, with a lean torso and eyes that are still large in proportion to its head. Its fur is short and dark like tar, and the cat gazes up at all of them with wide, round, emerald eyes.
Deku takes a cautious step forward. "Hey there," he coos, kneeling down. "Aren't you —"
The cat bolts.
Kirishima yelps and chases after it, but the cat squirms underneath the couch in record time. Todoroki, apparently realizing that his position of relative peace and quiet on the couch is about to become ground zero for chaos, jumps to his feet. And at the very moment that Todoroki takes a step to escape, the cat re-emerges like a bullet from underneath the couch.
In that instant, Katsuki knows as sure as he knows anything that he will remember the next few seconds of his life with as much fondness as the day his quirk manifested, or the time that he dared Deku to stick his tongue to a frozen pole and the nerd got stuck for ten whole minutes. Katsuki becomes hyper-aware. His vision sharpens. Time slows. He sees Todoroki stumble at the unexpected weight on his feet. He sees Todoroki's frame pitch forward, unbalanced. He sees Todoroki's eyes go wide in realization. And Katsuki watches, with a steadily growing grin, as Todoroki, who stands as the height of affected grace and precision, very gracefully and very precisely faceplants right onto the floor.
"Oh my god —"
"Todoroki!"
"Are you okay?"
The red-and-white lump on the floor manages a barely audible mumble. "M'fine."
Katsuki's gaze drifts from Todo Dodo's crumpled body to the four-legged culprit, who has made it to the other end of the room and is staring at the commotion, in pure, wide-eyed innocence. The cat seems to sense Katsuki's eyes on it, and turns its eyes to meet Katsuki's. They hold each other's gaze for several moments. And then, eyes still fixed on Katsuki, the cat lifts its foreleg and takes one single, deliberate lick of its paw.
And that is when Katsuki knows.
"Holy shit, I'm a cat person," Katsuki breathes.
"…Eh?"