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Sayori knows Monika more than anyone else on the planet, probably. She could spot her in a crowd of a thousand brown-haired people, she could list the number of freckles on her nose, she could predict the exact inflection and cadence of her voice. So you can also assume that Sayori knows exactly what the perfect Christmas gift for Monika would be. And you, dearest reader, would be painfully, unbearably wrong!
It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Sayori has outlined a hundred different ideas in her journal, she’s enlisted the help of Natsuki and Yuri, and she’s even taken to asking suspiciously vague questions to an unassuming Monika. Yet still, she returns with less than she started with. Ugh- Why is it so difficult to find a gift for Monika, the girl she’s been dating for literally years now?
“Ugh.” Sayori huffs loudly, pacing across the carpet in the apartment she shares with -you guessed it- Monika. Again, this serves to only frustrate her further. Seriously, how can she be so close to someone and so clueless at the same time? It makes no sense! She’s running out of time; Christmas is literally a week away. Does this… make her a bad girlfriend? No, no, she’s just having, uh… gifter’s block. That’s no big deal.
Glancing to the clock, Sayori notes that it’s getting sort of late. Monika usually comes home around six o’clock, but it’s nearly seven and there’s still no sign of her. Well… maybe she’s just closing up. After all, the mall is a pretty popular place to be around the holidays, and the store Monika works at is no exception. It’s actually more of an in-between job- she’s studying to be a professional musician, so she picked up a job to help make ends meet in the meantime. Ehe, Sayori is proud of her for doing so well for herself. She just- well, maybe she just wishes she could see her more. That’s all. Monika has been staying later and later at the coffee shop, and it gets a little lonely holed up in here chipping away at her novel.
Hehe, you heard that right; airheaded, spaced-out Sayori is writing a novel. Well, sort of… She writes and illustrates children’s books. It’s her second one, actually, and she’s pretty happy with her progress! Who could’ve guessed that the vice president and president of the literature club would be together and thriving to this day? They’ve survived countless stormy nights, endless winters, and they’ve somehow found a bazillion solutions for a bazillion problems. That’s simply how it is when two people fit together perfectly.
Focus, focus! Sayori grits her teeth, trying to keep the cogs in her head turning as she strides across the room toward the window. The Christmas tree stands beside it, decorated from top to bottom and shining brighter than anything she’s ever seen. It’s a beautiful sight, really, the sparkling lights reflecting against the frosted window. But… it would be more beautiful if Sayori had looked out and seen those headlights shining in her eyes, the way they always do when Monika returns. Tonight, it’s dark. There are no lights to be found.
“What to get her?” Sayori muses aloud, fingers interlaced. She scans the apartment quickly, searching for a clue, or- or a hint, or something like that, even though it’s not a video game, and there’s no real merit to this. All she finds are dishes in the sink, half-folded blankets, and the prettiest decorations she’s ever seen. Because Monika made them, of course.
Out of options and feeling more stressed than before, Sayori makes her way around the room and tidies as she goes. The blankets are folded into neat piles, the pillows are straightened out, the dishes are carefully scrubbed clean and deposited in the rack. When she finishes, the room looks even better than it did before. But still no Monika.
Sayori reluctantly watches as the illuminated clock on the stove approaches eight. Should she be worried? The roads are awfully slick, and… Shaking her head again, she decides she’d rather not dwell on the negatives. Most likely, Monika is still tied up with a few straggling customers, or wiping off countertops, or refilling those syrup machines. With that in mind, Sayori gets to work cooking dinner for whenever she does get home. It’s always nice to return to food on the table, right? That might make up for her utter lack of gift ideas.
It… sort of doesn’t. But it’s fine. It’s totally fine! She’ll think of something soon.
The jingle of keys in the keyhole later on in the night perks Sayori right up. Before she can open the door, Monika is bursting in.
“I’m so sorry I’m late!” she exclaims, bow askew on her head and coated by a dusting of snow. She scrapes her boots against the welcome mat, then carefully tucks them into the shoe rack beside her tennis shoes and Sayori’s slippers. “I got- I was,” she pants, clearly having sprinted up the steps, or something similar. “Lots of peppermint mochas,” Monika gets out eventually with her hands on her knees. “So much. Literally endless.”
Unable to hold in a giggle, Sayori helps Monika take her coat off and immediately pulls her into a tight, warm hug. “I’m glad you’re home.”
Monika squeezes her back, and Sayori can feel her smiling against her cheek. “I missed you, love,” Monika murmurs, finally letting go once she smells what Sayori had been cooking. “Did you make this for me?”
Sayori nods. She’s so wrapped up in grinning like an idiot at Monika that she’s only pulled back to reality once she hears the fire alarm beeping. “Shoot!” she gasps, bolting towards the stove to pull the pot of rice off the burner. It’s… a tiny bit burnt, but nothing too bad. Ehe. Quickly plating the meal and setting the dishes on the table, she sits in her usual spot and rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. “I, uh, got a little distracted, I think. Avoid the super dark areas, they’re definitely charred.”
Unphased, Monika just leans across the table and takes her hand with a red tinge to her cheeks and a glow in her eyes. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”
They go to sleep that night listening to the gentle hum of the heater, knowing that inside will always be warm, no matter how cold and snowy it is outside. Sayori, of course, also knows that she’s steadily losing more and more time the longer she fails to come up with a good present for her lovely girlfriend. But when Monika curls up closer to her and wraps her arms around her torso, she decides that she can relax for now. There’s still a little ways to go until the actual holiday arrives.
...Or, scratch that, she has a day and a half now. Crap. A day and a half! What can she even- How did it go by that fast? Sayori swears she’s been keeping track of the time, but it seems like that fell through. To make matters worse, this is Monika’s day off, so she can’t even do anything too sneaky. Dang.
“Moni,” Sayori muses, sprawled out on the floor beneath the tree. “Do you think that Santa will come for us?”
This receives a laugh from where Monika is in the armchair, writing in her notebook a bit feverishly. The pen jolts back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and Sayori has to wonder if she’s really writing in there, or if she’s scribbling. “Well… Maybe if you wish really hard,” Monika tells Sayori earnestly, humoring her for the time being, it seems. “Do you think you made the nice list this year?”
Sayori shakes her head. “I hope so.” Then she stands, heads over to the chair, and plops down on the arm. If she leans just a little to the side… hehe. She can rest her head against Monika’s comfortably.
“O-oh!” Monika shuts her book before Sayori can see inside, but she doesn’t miss the worry in those familiar green eyes. Monika, worried? This close to such a joyful holiday? “Aha. Did you want to do something, Sayo?”
Again, Sayori shakes her head and leans in closer to Monika. Before she can register it though, a hand is on her hip, and she’s being pulled into the chair. Well, maybe crammed would be a better word; but she doesn’t mind. They fit nice and cozy together, and with Monika’s arm wrapped around her shoulder, Sayori feels like she’ll never be cold again.
“I just want to be here with you,” Sayori says, letting her eyes close gently. She couldn’t care less about the snow outside, or the tree. What she cares about is Monika. What matters is that she’s here with Monika. That’s why this holiday is special to her. It isn’t about some- some funny man in a red suit, either.
Later into the day, Sayori sets out to find the perfect gift. Sure Christmas isn’t about gift-giving per se, as she’d established, but she still needs something, okay? Monika is special, and she deserves it. And plus, Sayori can’t deny that getting to wrap presents is one of her favorite things ever. She’d produced a quick excuse to dash out the door, and Monika thankfully mentioned that she also had something to get done. This means that, thankfully, she’d been in an equal hurry to leave, and had no time to doubt Sayori’s questionable alibi. Yay.
Soon, soon Sayori will be able to breathe easily, with the perfect gift for her perfect girl. But what to get? She’s already scrolled through endless web pages and shopping sites to no avail, not to mention spending a decade in the mall only to come up empty-handed. It’s not that she doesn’t know what Monika likes- it’s that nothing seems enough. What could possibly be good enough to show Monika how utterly and completely head over heels Sayori is for her?
So… Sayori squints at the row of snowglobes on the shelf in front of her. Nope. These will certainly not do the trick. She giggles to herself as she straightens up, more than painfully aware that she’s been here a thousand times before. As cute as the flurries of snow in the little glass balls are, they aren’t quite what she’s looking for. Hm. She glances around, finding nothing but fake polyester snow and plastic candy canes. None of it is exactly saying ‘take me’.
“Come on, come on.” Sayori stuffs her hands in her jacket pockets. Surely she’ll experience some miracle soon and be hit with the idea of all ideas, immediately solving all of her problems. She screws her eyes shut, and… Nothing. No magic, no miracle. Well, it had been quite a lot to hope for.
She exits this particular store and slowly crosses the food court, trying to scope out anything that might spark something for her. Instead, she just finds herself face to face with the coffee shop Monika works at. She could use some caffeine. Why not? On her way there, she passes by the area where kids take pictures with Santa. This particular Santa weirds her out a little by waving excitedly, so she just ignores him and speed walks faster across the court. Ehe… so much for having Christmas spirit.
“I’ll have… uh…” Sayori stops herself from telling the barista ‘peppermint mocha’, smiling a little to herself when she remembers how Monika had groaned over that particular order. She blinks. “Um… I’ll have an iced caramel latte with extra whipped cream.”
The barista nods to her, so she turns to find a seat. It’s… kinda lonely being here all by herself, watching the rest of the world go by as she waits for a coffee she hadn’t even set out to get. All she wants is a good present, that’s it! Kicking the leg of the table, she stifles a wince. That hurt a whole lot more than she’d expected it to. Note to self, don’t kick tables. Unless they started it.
“Iced caramel, extra whip?”
“Coming!” Sayori darts over and grabs the drink, already halfway through the whipped cream by the time she sits back down. Turns out she’d wanted it more than she realized, ehe. The receipt is damp from condensation, but she pulls out a pen from her bag nonetheless; the best place for inspiration to strike is when you least expect it. Which means… receipt brainstorming, of course. Or, well, an attempt at that.
‘Christmas with Moni!!’ Sayori underlines, drumming her fingers against the table with her non-dominant hand. Then she waits. And waits. Until finally, after her whipped cream is gone and her coffee is almost just ice now, she decides that nothing is coming after all. What to do now? Sayori shrugs. When she can’t think, she writes. When she can’t write… She writes anyway. ‘Everywhere I look, I see lights.’ Sayori glances to her sides, confirming that yes, she is indeed surrounded by lights. Very good observation. ‘But all I want to see is you.’
Okay, this is something. Keep writing, keep writing! It’s not, uh… good, by any stretch of the imagination, but at least she’s putting pen to paper with general success.
‘You are where I feel at home.’ Ignoring the flurry of butterflies in her stomach, Sayori grimaces at the poor attempt at poetry. This would never fly in the literature club. She goes to crumple up the receipt in defeat, but before the paper gets the chance to fold inwards on itself, something occurs to her. Poetry. Writing. She should do something for Monika that involves writing. Or… something along those lines!
“I’m a genius,” Sayori mumbles to herself, chucking the remnants of her drink into the trash can and powerwalking away from the store. This is an idea, this is a foundation. Jeez, she’s literally a writer! How did this take her so long to-? You know what, never mind. Let’s just focus on the positives.
Thoughts swirl in her head, endless little tangents and run-on sentences and shouts of I-have-a-solution! She skips down the block, nearly slipping on a stretch of ice that had rudely planted itself between two squares of sidewalk. Meanie. Without breaking her leg, she makes it home right in time to have a fully formed -if not a tiny, tiny bit half-baked- plan in mind. Poetry. That’s what brought her and Monika together, right? It’s exactly the right idea.
Let’s see… Sayori digs through old folders and piles of papers, rifling through endless stacks of journals and stuff dating all the way back through high school. Hehe… This will be exactly the right thing for Monika. It has to be. All she needs to do now is assemble!
“She didn’t see me, did she?” Monika whispers, crouched behind the counter. It’s a good thing Sayori is easy to spot, or she might not have had time to duck out of the way… And it’s also a good thing that Sayori is particularly bad at spotting other people. How could Monika explain what she’s doing at the shop on her day off?
“No, she didn’t,” her coworker replies dryly. He might’ve given her an eye roll, but she honestly couldn’t care less right now. She’d never take anything seriously from a smartass who speaks almost exclusively through a soundboard on his iPhone. Okay- deep breath in, deep breath out. All that matters is that she won’t get caught. Her coworker raises an eyebrow at her breathing techniques. “Why are you… down there, anyway?”
Monika shakes her head. She doesn’t particularly feel like explaining herself to this random guy. Gosh, she isn’t even sure what his name is… Now she feels sort of guilty. It’s- Oh! Dave! Okay, that’s a super easy name to forget, now she feels less bad. In any case, she only has a few more hours before she gets out of work, despite Sayori being under the impression that she has today off. She can’t help hating herself a little bit for lying, but it’s necessary. If she tells Sayori… then it would make her worry. Monika doesn’t want that. So for now, at least, she’ll keep up the lie. Just a few more days.
Just a few.
And… Done! Sayori releases a long puff of air, proud of her achievement. It doesn’t look like much, but still, she’s come a long way from where she began. Which is actually quite a lot like what her gift represents. It veered sort of off course from the writing plan, but hey, if it works, it works. She just hopes it’ll be enough to give Monika the perfect Christmas. It’s what she deserves.
“I’m home,” Monika calls, giving Sayori hardly a second to shove her unwrapped gift behind her back. “Oh- oops, did I catch you at a bad time?” Monika sheepishly rubs her arm and sets her bag down on the countertop. It’s pretty clear that she’s exhausted, judging by the bags beneath her eyes, but she still has that same persistent smile. That’s… who she is.
“Ehe, a little bit,” Sayori confesses. “Let me finish this up, and I’ll be right there. No peeking!” Okay, good, now Monika is busy in the kitchen, giving Sayori time to wrap this up. It’s kinda an uneven shape; not too boxy, but also not lumpy enough to conceal the poor taping job she’s doing. “Okay, all set! You can come back now.”
Proud of herself, Sayori tucks the gift beneath the tree, as far back as she can get it without inhaling a mouthful of pine needles in the process. With all supplies away and no traces left behind, she’s finally confident in herself. Christmas, here she comes! But first, actually- Monika, here she comes.
“Moni, you should rest.” Sayori places a hand gently on Monika’s waist, guiding her towards their room. However, she’s stopped right in the doorframe when Monika sticks her arm out. “Hm?”
Monika gazes at her softly, and with this teasing glint in her eyes, she glances above Sayori’s head, then back down to her lips. As her heart gives a thrum, Sayori looks up as well. Oh, mistletoe! It’s such a pretty plant, honestly, with the way its cute little berries are… how they… Well, um, this appears to actually be spinach. But- Sayori blinks, and her eyebrows dart up just a bit as she registers Monika’s hand gently moving to cup her cheek. She’s done this a thousand times over, but she’ll never be sick of it. Her eyes close; then the familiar, welcoming feeling of Monika’s lips on her own sends her tripping even deeper into love with her than she’d ever been in her life.
Breaking apart never dulls the spark, either. If there’s anything Sayori enjoys more than kissing Monika, it’s pulling away and seeing that silly, lovestruck look on her face. Seriously, she could never have enough. It’s amazing how green becomes gold when struck by a certain lighting, how freckles can be so gorgeous, how one person can make Sayori’s entire world stop moving with a single glance in her direction.
“I love you,” Sayori murmurs, beaming.
“I love you, too,” Monika echos, and presses another kiss on her forehead for extra-good measure. There’s just nothing quite like being so in love with someone who’s in love with you, too. Nothing in the universe.
They curl up in bed, and Sayori feels much, much lighter knowing that her gift is safely hidden beneath the tree. She’s all set for the big day, and with Christmas Eve mere hours away, she also feels ridiculously lucky. Yuri and Natsuki are supposed to come over, so- Sayori yawns, cutting off her train of thought. So… so she wouldn’t have time to… Never mind. She’s too tired to worry about things that she could just as easily sort out in the morning.
In what feels like hardly a moment, the next day has come and gone, and the doorbell is ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Ah, it must be Natsuki, that would make sense.
“Hey, I’ve missed you guys!” Sayori exclaims, pulling open the door as Natsuki plunges her fingertip into the doorbell for the seventh time. “Come inside! We have snacks, drinks, uh… spinach-mistletoe,” she lists, counting off on her fingers. “Ooh, and presents! We’ve pretty much got it all, ehe.”
“I missed you, too, you dummy!” Natsuki tackles Sayori into a hug, nearly dragging them both onto the floor as Yuri just laughs gently and shakes her head. She knows by now that Natsuki can’t be reigned in by any force known to man- and especially not by her own wife.
Yuri sets the two large bags she’d been carrying onto the floor beside the couch, visibly relaxing once her hands are free again. “Yes, it’s been too long,” Yuri agrees, accepting a hug from a now slightly disgruntled -but still very cheerful!- Sayori. “Where’s Monika?”
Sighing, Sayori shuts the door behind them and shakes her head. Monika is out again on some errand, but she isn’t quite sure where. It’s… sort of been bothering her. Things had been so perfect last night, hadn’t they? What happened? Had- had she done something to scare her off?
“Hey, no sweat. She’s probably just at the shop,” Natsuki says, flopping down onto the armchair beside the tree. She frowns when nobody replies, and glances between Yuri and Sayori. “Uh… Right? I mean… where else would she be? She works, like, all the time. I see her almost every day.”
Yuri quickly steps beside Natsuki and whispers something to her; and at once, all the color leaves her face.
“Oh.” Natsuki blinks. “You didn’t know..?”
Throwing on her jacket, Sayori balls her hands into fists. No, of course she didn’t know, but now it all makes sense. The running off, the disappearances, the exhaustion, all of it. “I’ll be right back. You two, uh…” she trails off, halfway forgetting about her guests in her rush to collect her girlfriend. Forcing a smile, Sayori gestures around the room. “Make yourselves at home, okay? It’ll only take a sec.”
The moment the door closes, the tears begin. Sayori really has no explanation for why, but she just… all the whirling emotions and confusion that she’s been shoving down have all started to claw their way out. The mall is within walking distance, so it really won’t take very long, but why had Monika been hiding this from her? And during the holidays no less! It’s… It hurts, and she can’t place her finger on why.
Stepping through heaps of snow, Sayori begins to regret not putting her boots on. It’s fine. Regular shoes are just fine. Besides, she can see the building from here; she’ll be there in a flash. Wiping the tears from her face, Sayori tries to just focus on the goal. To focus on Monika. But… the more she thinks about Monika, the more she feels like crying.
“...and you said caramel, right? Aha, good, that’s what I put. So, that’ll be… four seventy-five. Oh, it’s no problem at all, we’re still open for five minutes. Merry Christmas to you, too!” Monika waves at an elderly customer, who exits the shop with a steaming cup. The smile on her face fades considerably when Sayori steps through the doorway. “S-Sayo?”
Sayori blinks quickly and rubs a hand across her face, making sure no traces of crying remain. She’s fine, she’s fine. It’s Christmas Eve, she has to be fine. But- but Monika is working, on Christmas Eve! And she lied about it!
“Hey, Sayo, come here,” Monika says gently, stepping around the counter and wiping her hands on her apron. She flips the sign to closed and focuses her attention on Sayori. It’s… probably very clear that she’d been crying. Dang.
“You’re working so much more, and you didn’t tell me,” Sayori accuses pathetically, voice breaking before she even has the chance to sound intimidating. It’s for the best. “Why didn’t you tell me? If- if w-we were having money problems, or you were- or if- why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been so worried about you, and I had… no idea.” She feels so stupid for being this worked up, but in an instant, Monika is hugging her so softly that she nearly forgets everything she’d been upset about. Nearly. With her face pressed into Monika’s shoulder, Sayori mumbles, “It’s… a silly thing to cry over. I’m s-sorry.”
“No, it’s not,” Monika says, carefully brushing away the brimming tears from Sayori’s eyelashes. “It’s not. I should’ve told you, I just… sort of… wanted to surprise you with something.”
Shaking her head, Sayori giggles through a sniffle. “Of course you do, you mega dork.” She punches Monika lightly on the shoulder. “But, um, thank you. I just… wish you told me, that’s all.”
Monika takes Sayori’s hand and leads her to the door. “I know, and I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll tell you next time something like this happens, I promise.”
“Moni?”
“Hm?”
“Are you going to leave with your apron?” Sayori gestures to the apron, which is indeed still tied around Monika’s waist. When Monika blinks and flushes red, she can’t help but grin. See, things work out. She’s okay.
When they finally get back to the apartment, Monika is surprised to find Yuri and Natsuki curled up on the couch, both fast asleep. Well, she’s actually surprised to see anyone at all; someone must’ve forgotten their plans in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Ehe, it’s okay, Sayori gets that more than anyone.
“Wakey wakey,” Sayori sings, jostling Yuri gently out of her slumber. She figures it’s a much safer bet than trying to wake up Natsuki… She’d prefer to keep all of her fingers going into the new year. They’re pretty important to her.
“O-oh!” Yuri sits up, mercifully taking it upon herself to rouse Natsuki.
“Fuck off,” Natsuki mumbles kindly, upon regaining consciousness. “Oh…” she trails off, blinking at the small group of people around her. “Heh, my bad, guess we kinda got knocked out there, huh? All these lights everywhere make me sleepy.”
With Monika rejoining them, and the others luckily not mentioning the whole work thing, their little get-together finally manages to kick off smoothly. Sayori puts on that TV channel that’s just a fireplace and soft music (“Sayo, we have an actual fireplace.” “It’s different!”), Natsuki sets up an elaborate house of cards, and Monika and Yuri discuss recent reads, just like old times.
“You got any wine in there?” Natsuki asks curiously, glancing at one of the bags Yuri had carried in. Yuri blushes deeply, but Natsuki has already started to poke through it with a deep sense of purpose in her eyes. You know, because unearthing some mystery bottle of wine is her one and only life’s mission.
Monika also looks over hopefully, but Natsuki returns empty-handed, and shakes her head.
“Moni!” Sayori nudges her shoulder. “Really?”
“We’re adults now, we can drink!” Monika defends, but the look on Sayori’s face shuts her up. Jeez, can you even imagine the four of them drinking? It would be a disaster.
After a pause, Natsuki’s rustling returns. “Ooh… be right back. I totally forgot about this.” She darts off towards the bathroom with another bag in tow, one she’d produced from out of the larger bag. When Sayori glances at Monika, she just shrugs. Okay… clearly nobody knows what's going on here either.
The remaining three continue to chat about literature while Natsuki is off doing whatever she’s doing. Yuri has made her way through the final two books in her series, Monika is catching up on a different series, and Sayori mentions that she’s nearing the halfway point in her novel. Hehe, success after literary success. That’s what happens when you’re friends with a bunch of nerds. Well, a bunch of nerds and-
“Ho ho ho!”
And, uh… Santa Claus.
“Merry Christmas!” Natsuki shouts, bursting out from the bathroom in a full Santa suit complete with a beard and a little red hat. And freaking buckled boots. She plants her hands on her hips and grins widely. “So… what do you think?”
Sayori just gapes, while Monika silently takes her phone out to snap a picture. Yuri, however, is shaking with inaudible laughter.
“D-dearest,” Yuri chokes out. “What on earth… is that? Where did you..?”
“Yep, picked up a gig as a mall Santa,” Natsuki announces with a level of casualty that suggests she might’ve been discussing the morning paper, or her usual cup of tea. “That’s how I saw Monika all the time. Plus, the people there said ‘if ya wear the suit, ya get the job’. So I… uh… got the job. Ho ho ho.”
Yuri promptly hides her face in her hands and fails miserably to stifle her giggles. It’s too much for her to handle, which is understandable.
“Wait- are you the one who’s been waving at me?” Monika gasps, eyes wide. “I thought that was just some, like, small creepy dude! Nat!”
Sayori gestures wildly at both Monika and… Mr. Clause. “No way. No way! She waved at me too! I thought the same thing!”
(Of course, this makes Yuri’s laughing fit endlessly worse.)
Natsuki shrugs. “Yeah, that was me, uh, both times. My bad. Anyway, I was thinking that- Yuri, you good?” Natsuki taps Yuri’s shoulder. “C’mon, it’s not that funny. Do you not like my beard? I think it suits me.”
“Oh, for sure!” Sayori agrees, giggling. “It really frames your face. You should keep it.”
They eventually stop cracking jokes about the Santa costume, but only because Yuri had seemed on the verge of legitimate hyperventilation. It would probably be bad if she perished on Christmas Eve from her wife in a Santa suit. Of course, the logical next step after meeting the big guy himself is to open presents! Or… some presents. Nat and Yuri decided to open their gifts for each other the next day alone, and Monika and Sayori agreed that that was a good idea. But that does still leave gifts to be unwrapped, which is even more fun than the wrapping part!
“This one says… to Yuri!” Natsuki passes a red and green plaid box to Yuri, having decided that it only made sense if she were the one doling out packages. “And these are Monika’s- and then Sayori… then me!”
Each girl is left with two presents, from the opposite couple. It’s pretty clear which are from Natsuki, given the tape poking out haphazardly and awkwardly folded up pieces of wrapping paper, but neither Monika nor Sayori could care less. Besides, she’s Santa! Who can blame Santa for a sorta shoddy wrapping job on her own holiday? Blasphemous. Honestly, Sayori could’ve received scraps of paper tied together with string and she’d probably still be over the moon about it.
“Yuri, you didn’t.” Monika looks up from the bag she’d just pulled endless amounts of tissue paper from, nearly vibrating with excitement. In her hands is a book, and from one glance, Sayori can tell it’s the limited edition variant of her latest fixation. And based on the quietly proud smile playing on Yuri’s lips, she knows this just as much.
An unintentional order for opening gifts forms, as Monika glances at Sayori rather than unwrapping her second present. Realizing the signal, Sayori blinks in surprise, then begins to tear at the wrapping on the closest box to her. It just so happens to be Natsuki’s, which she can tell both by the surplus of tape and the look on her face. After tugging off the paper and opening the nondescript box within, Sayori comes face to face with another box. Then another.
“Nat,” Sayori says, unwrapping yet another box. “There’d better be something actually in here.”
Natsuki leans back in her seat, grinning and quite obviously enjoying the spectacle. “Oh, there is. Just keep looking. I’m sure you’ll find it eventually.”
Sayori continues valiantly, putting the heap of torn paper into the garbage bag Monika rustles in her direction. Finally, she comes to the final layer. This is it! The first gift of her Christmas! Hm… There’s nothing to be heard if she shakes it. Shrugging, Sayori pulls the last box open with just as much excitement as she’d done the first. Inside is a case for a video game, and a matching controller.
“Animal Crossing?” Sayori exclaims, giddy. She gapes at the cartridge, halfway about to jump up and sprint to her console right then and there. That is, until Monika places a hand on her thigh, which keeps her seated. “Thank you so so much, Nat! I’ve been dying to play for ages!”
“I know.” Natsuki smirks through that thick fake beard, clearly pleased with herself. That is, until Sayori raises an eyebrow, and she realizes that it’s her turn. “Oh- uh…” She places a hand on her chin to stroke the beard in thought, deliberating between the two options. Ehe, Sayori’s pretty proud of her wrap job, which seems to have paid off since hers is chosen. Natsuki takes much less time opening than Sayori had -to be fair, there’s only one box- and immediately is in silent shock over the contents.
Leaning closer to inspect the contents as if she hadn’t packaged it, Sayori feels that familiar rush of joy she always gets when gift-giving. Yep, it’s exactly how she remembers: The DVD, art book, and script box set for Parfait Girls, all of which were hunted down after about a billion years of sifting through eBay (and any second-hand anime-slash-manga sellers within a hundred-mile radius).
“How,” Natsuki deadpans, staring vacantly at the box as she pulls out the art book as gingerly as she’s ever done anything in her life. “This- this was sold out everywhere within a weekend. They never made any more. How?”
Sayori is glad to take her turn to be proud, and shrugs. “I have my ways. Anyway, I think Yuri is next?”
Somehow managing to ignore Natsuki’s shell-shocked expression, Yuri nods and carefully selects the bag beside her knee, the one with white and gold tissue paper poking out of the top. Definitely from Monika. Like, no question about it. Yuri removes the tissue paper and looks inside, with much less vigor than Sayori, and less ‘oh my god!’ than Natsuki.
“Oh my.” Yuri reaches in and retrieves the item, still maintaining an impressive level of composure. Oops, items plural, actually. It’s a cream-colored sweater, as well as a beautiful gold necklace with matching earrings. “Monika, this… I appreciate this so much. Thank you.”
Waving her off, Monika tries to hide her smile behind her hand. “Aha, of course. I remember that I got ink on your sweater a while back, so, ah, hopefully this can make up for that.”
Yuri shakes her head, holding the sweater to her chest protectively. “Don’t worry about that in the slightest. Besides, I assure you it was well on its way out. But in any case… It’s back to you, I believe.”
“Right, right!” Monika turns to the present from Natsuki, again covered in tape and kinda wrinkled, but nonetheless wonderfully charming.
She doesn’t have a hundred mini boxes inside, Sayori notes bitterly. Hehe, she can’t stay mad though, it was an experience. You know? Anyway, Monika pulls out a large book of sheet music. Sayori squints at it- Classical Music, with the subheading ‘the fifty greatest composers and their a thousand greatest works’. Seems boring. However, Monika’s face lights up.
Did Sayori say boring? She, uh… meant super great! And awesome!
“I’ve got to learn these as soon as I can,” Monika says, partially to herself, thumbing through page after page of complicated musical notation that sort of seems like someone got trigger-happy with a mini bingo dauber. “These are excellent pieces…” She’s so absorbed musing over the different songs that she doesn’t actually get to the ‘thank you’ part, but Natsuki seems pretty happy to just watch her gift get fawned over.
Since Monika is busy flirting with Chopin, Sayori takes her turn without the cue. Hehe, jeez, she loves opening things. And of course, Yuri’s is last. She opens this one far quicker. “Yuri!” Sayori gasps, hands frozen over the shreds of paper. Within is a heavily decorated photo album, and as she pages through the endless slots full of photographs, she feels the emotions welling up in her chest. “I don’t even know what to say,” Sayori manages to get out, desperately trying to keep her voice from breaking although it already has. “Thank you so much.”
Yuri smiles gently, tilting her head just a bit in a way that tells Sayori that her speechlessness is more than allowed. She skims each page of pictures, soon finding herself completely absorbed in reminiscing. But- hehe, she’ll have time for this later. Right now, Yuri and Nat still have to open their final two gifts.
“Ooh, Monika, you killed it with this wrapping,” Natsuki comments, before annihilating the perfectly creased paper into little confetti-like shreds that scatter across the carpet. Monika, of course, quickly piles them into her trash bag. You know how you can sometimes like… hear something before you see it? That’s kinda like what this is. Natsuki’s gasp is first, and then Sayori sees the bubblegum pink stand mixer that had garnered such a reaction. “Monika. You absolute fucking bitch! This is incredible!”
With a stupidly smug look, Monika points to the note taped to the side.
Natsuki squints. “‘It’s just like you. Loud and pink.’ Now-” She raises an eyebrow, but Monika is already giggling to herself, and it’s far too late for anything to be done about it. She settles for crossing her arms. “Pff, you act like I”m not proud of being loud and pink. Not everyone gets to match their appliance.”
Last up is Yuri, with Sayori’s present. After the photo album, Sayori is beginning to feel like her gifting skills need some work, but hey! Can’t change it now, so the best thing she can do is relax and see what she thinks of it.
Unlike Natsuki, Yuri is careful with how she pulls off pieces of tape and unfolds the wrapping paper away from the gift. There are actually two boxes, so she unwraps both before looking more carefully. The moment she looks at the first, which the others have already shared a look over, a laugh bursts from her lips. It seems like Monika and Sayori had the same idea since Sayori also taped a note to one of her presents- On the bottle of fancy schmancy wine is a little sticky note, with ‘remember: do NOT bring to the club!!!’ written across it in purple glitter pen. They all know exactly what she’s referring to; Yuri had once brought alcohol into a literature club meeting, and the rest had immediately either lost it in hysterics or scolded her for it. The other gift is less of an inside joke, just a set of her favorite tea that had to be bought from this tiny tea shop Sayori hunted down.
“Th-thank you very much, Sayori,” Yuri says with a smile, still fighting giggles, which is made a million times more difficult by Natsuki’s entirely unsuppressed snorting. “I much appreciate the tea as well, you have no idea how difficult this type is to find. I’m impressed.”
Ehe, success! Sayori does know how difficult it is, by the way. Extremely. Difficult. To. Find.
After the laughter and light discussion dies down, and Monika has thrown away the scraps of paper, Natsuki finally tears off the beard. Sayori looks up at her, appalled.
“What?” Natsuki asks defensively. “Do you want to wear it?”
Of course, Sayori hurriedly agrees and puts it on as fast as humanly possible. Yuri and Monika glance at each other and shrug. This is very typical behavior of their significant others… After all, they knew very well what they were getting themselves into.
“Come on, Moni, there’s mistletoe!” Sayori protests, pointing up at the spinach she’d dragged Monika beneath. She puckers up her lips and shuts her eyes, but Monika cracks up and pushes her away playfully. “Aw… is it my beard? Do you not like it?”
Monika covers her mouth with a hand. “You’ll scratch my face up! I’ll kiss you when you take it off.”
“You will?? Does that mean you like me?”
“...Sayo.”
Yuri and Natsuki at least get a successful mistle-spinach kiss, which Sayori and Monika make sure to tease them mercilessly about. You know, as if they hadn’t been in their wedding.
Once it gets to around midnight, Monika and Sayori have to bid farewell to their friends, the other half of their dear literature club. It’s hard to say goodbye. It had been so much harder when they were fresh out of high school. But they always reunite, they always find their way back home, regardless of where home may be.
“We’ll call tomorrow for real Christmas!” Natsuki promises, bouncing on her heels. It looks kinda difficult given the boxes in her arms, but she somehow still manages.
“Goodnight, you two.” Yuri squeezes Sayori and Monika tight one last time before pulling on her scarf and heading for the door. She holds it for Natsuki, but she takes a detour and gestures for Sayori to come to the side.
With a devilish look on her face, Natsuki peers around the gifts she’s holding and just stares at Sayori. When Sayori hums, she shrugs. “Nothin’. Just… sleep well, okay? Gotta have a ton of energy for Christmas morning.”
“Why do I feel like you… know something?”
“I don’t! Bye guys!”
In the slam of a door and the final rush of cool air from the outside, the apartment is still and empty again. Sayori turns to Monika, who holds out a hand that she gratefully takes. The feeling of Monika’s icy fingertips against her own should be chilling, but she feels a rush of warmth instead. She’s… she’s happy to be here. She wants to be here. A few years ago, she’d been waiting for the moment she could disappear forever, planning out how best to go without disturbing anyone. Now, she’s about to settle into bed with her dream girl, and she’ll wake up in her arms. And she wants to be here. Sayori glances to Monika, who has been watching her quietly the whole time. They share a smile. Monika understands.
Sayori leads Monika back to their bedroom, nearly buzzing with excitement. Although she’s well past the point of being a kid on Christmas, she can’t deny that her holly-jollyness has never quite dulled. She lays onto the bed and buries beneath the covers, curling up into her usual spot.
“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Sayori confesses, as Monika flicks off the light and nestles in beside her.
“I can’t, either.” Monika moves forward slightly, placing one of her freezing hands on Sayori’s cheek, before kissing her softly. “Goodnight, Sayo. I love you.”
“Hehe. I love you too, Moni.”
The night doesn’t exactly soar by, not by a long shot. Sayori gets up three times to get water, with Monika begging her to stay each time (you know, so she doesn’t lose the heat in the bed). Eventually though, once the night sky has darkened to black and lightened to purple once more, both girls are sleeping soundly, limbs intertwined in the way that lovers are so often unconsciously inclined to do. It’s only when the sun creeps above the thick tangle of tree branches that Sayori rises again.
Squinting out into the orange and pink clouds, Sayori blinks once, then twice, then a quiet gasp escapes her lips. “Moni,” she murmurs, a hand on Monika’s shoulder. She receives a soft, reluctant groan. Sayori jostles her again. “Moni. It’s Christmas. Wake up, wake up!”
“Mh…” Monika stirs, mouth slightly agape as she rolls to face Sayori rather than the sunrise. There’s a little drool on her lip that Sayori wipes away with the pad of her thumb before Monika is even coherent enough to understand what she’s doing. “‘Morning…”
Sayori bounds out of bed, taking Monika’s awakening as a sign that she absolutely needs to get to the living room right-now-immediately. “Come on, come on!”
“Oh-”
From behind her, Sayori hears the bed creaking gently beneath Monika as she stands, and then footsteps approaching. Seems like a certain sleepy head has finally gained awareness of her surroundings.
“Merry Christmas,” Monika says, with a soft smile as she pulls Sayori into a hug from behind, just underneath the mistle-spinach. Sayori gratefully accepts the kiss on her cheek; she would prefer a different type, though, and turns her face up so that Monika’s lips meet hers the next time, and her beloved president gives the cutest little squeak of surprise. As if they haven’t kissed a thousand and one times, ehe.
They both sit in front of the tree, each girl holding a gift and barely able to contain her excitement over getting to give it to the other. Sayori’s fingertips squeeze the edges of her tightly wrapped present, and she wonders for a moment if it’s good enough for Monika. No- she’s been over this. It’s good enough. Well, okay, nothing is really good enough to convey what she wants to say, but this is about as close as she can get.
“Can you open mine first?” Sayori holds out her package, putting on her best ‘please, please, please?’ puppy dog eyes. Monika has a habit of wanting to be the last one to open gifts… she prefers watching. But this year, Sayori prefers watching! She wants to make sure she did enough.
Carefully, Monika tears the paper. She does pause to giggle about it though, since Sayori had managed to find writing-themed wrapping paper, with little red and green quills and ink all over it. It was a tough find, too, she had to dig through about a billion rolls at the store and fight off some old lady who wanted to take the last one. Actually, come to think of it… that lady was probably just trying to get to the check-out line. Sayori will have to mentally reevaluate that situation later. She tunes back into the present opening, right as Monika makes it through the first (and only, she isn’t Natsuki) layer. To be honest, Sayori is way more full of anticipation about this than Monika is. She can’t help it!
Beneath is an emerald green leather-bound book, not unlike the photo album that Yuri had given Sayori the night before. This time, however, it’s filled with other forms of memories. As Monika flips through the pages, Sayori leans into her shoulder, wrapping an arm around her waist as their years together dance beneath her fingertips. The flyer from the first club meeting; ticket stubs from movies; little scraps of paper, covered in back-and-forth doodles between Sayori and Monika when they’d been bored in any given class. And of course, poetry. Endless amounts of it. There are poems from the club, poems that Sayori had never shared but written about Monika, poems from Monika to Sayori, and vice versa. Sayori doesn’t realize Monika is tearing up until her body trembles from a sniffle.
“Don’t cry,” Sayori tells her, but there are tears in her own eyes, too. She can’t deny that Monika’s eyes have always shone brighter when they get glassy; how can one person be so stupidly, stunningly pretty? “I just…. I wanted t-to…” Dang it, she’s really crying now. “I wanted to show you how special you are to me. So… this is full of the things that we’ve been through together, back from where we started to where we are now. And other things that reminded me of you, ehe,” Sayori tacks on as Monika turns to a page with green hearts cut out of paint swatches stuck in around more doodles.
Without a response, Monika hugs Sayori tightly, and wipes at her face before the tears manage to stain the paper below. “Thank you,” she whispers, still holding Sayori’s body close to her own. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect, Sayori.”
And for a moment they sit there, holding each other and paging through memories. It’s kinda astounding how much Sayori had found to put in there- the contents range from pressed flowers that Monika had given her to the most useless things, like wrappers and tiny drawings she’d ripped out of ridiculously old notebooks. Forensics class still haunts her, but that notebook has the best collection of drawings since they’d taken it together. The final page is a photo that Sayori had taken by accident when she’d been messing around with an old polaroid; she and Monika are looking into the camera with wide eyes, mouths open as the flash stunned them both. Beneath that picture, Sayori had written ‘To Monika- my truest love, and my favorite person in the world. Here’s to everything that’s still to come.’ Obviously, she also added hearts and smiley faces.
“I guess I should give you your gift now?” Monika asks shakily, giggling through another sniffle as Sayori rubs her face on the cuff of her sleeve and nods. She stands up -for what reason? No clue- and Sayori follows her lead. Because come on, it’s Monika. Sayori always follows her lead. “I don’t know how I can top that, aha. But, ah… Here. I hope you like it.” Somehow still nervous and blush-y around Sayori even now, Monika hands a box to her.
“Hmm… What could it be?” Sayori takes her time pulling off the paper, finding it funny to watch Monika grow increasingly more impatient. After a moment she finds herself also growing impatient though, so she hurries up and gets the gift out of the packaging. As she’s busy fawning over the most adorable white and orange cat plushie she’s ever seen, Monika instructs her to turn around. Weird, but sure, why not? Sayori hasn’t the faintest clue how Monika had even gotten behind her… Although she’ll admit it’s true that she’d been pretty focused on the- on- Sayori’s hand reaches to cover her mouth as she processes what she’s seeing.
Monika, one knee bent, holding open a small box.
“Sayori,” Monika begins, eyes glassing over again before she gets the name out of her mouth. “You’re the most wonderful woman that I’ve ever met.”
“Yes,” Sayori says. Fresh tears are tracing her cheeks, and she knows Monika has more to say, but she just wants to say yes already.
To this, Monika just laughs and tries to continue her question without crying any harder. “There’s nobody who lights up a room the way you do, there’s nobody who can make me smile th-the way you do. You’ve been beside me through everything. My vice president, my best friend. Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Sayori repeats. More like of course. More like, she’s been waiting for this since the moment she looked at Monika and thought I love you for the first time. The ring is on her finger, right where it belongs, but she couldn’t even care less what it looks like. Well, okay, that’s not entirely true, Monika probably put a ton of thought and care into choosing it. But, uh, you get what she means. The only thing that really matters to her in this moment is that she gets to be with her girl, really and truly, for the rest of her life.
It’s funny to her how pink Monika’s face is, how giddy she looks, how that exact expression is probably mirrored on her own face. Having someone love you the way you love them is… something she can’t even put into words. How can she have gotten so absurdly lucky? How does she deserve Monika?
They curl up on the couch for the rest of the morning, flipping through page after page of their history, their lives: The story of how a dorky club president and her right hand somehow stumbled into each other’s universes and changed each other completely. As Sayori gazes at Monika, she feels that rush of adrenaline surge through her chest. The fluttering of her heart. Even now, years and years after their first date as a couple, she still gets butterflies in her stomach over this girl. She wonders briefly if Monika is the same way.
“Moni, do you still get that funny feeling when you see me? Like the… butterflies, or something?”
“Of course I do, Sayo.”
Sayori inhales the scent of Monika’s shirt, that familiar, calming citrusy aroma. Of course. That’s exactly how Sayori had felt earlier. Of course, of course, of course. It’s more than yes, it surpasses definitely. It means that the answer is so clear, so obvious, so matter-of-fact and indisputable that it’s laughable to even ask in the first place.
“Hehe. Me too.”