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Ice hadn’t planned to stop in to Top Gun today to see how the candidates were doing. It was one of those things that just kinda happened. He had some free time and knew that Maverick would be teaching a lesson, so it was only natural that he stop by to make sure that everything was going smoothly. Maverick usually told him if that wasn’t the case, though with the stunts that he had pulled, it made Ice worried for both Maverick and his students.
The students may be the best of the best, but they still had a lot to learn, and Maverick was the best one to teach them. Ice had been the one to request that he teach, with Maverick being beyond hesitant at first. Now they were like a second family, always looking out for each other and learning the value of teamwork, especially in the sky.
Even Rooster was coming around, which was something that Ice hadn’t been sure would happen. The rift between Rooster and Maverick was as vast as the Grand Canyon, and that sometimes left Ice to be the middle man. Although he was pleased to see that they were repairing their relationship, it still worried Ice that some little thing may set either of them off, and send them both retreated into themselves like they so often did.
Ice forced those thoughts aside as he sat down by the radio to listen in to what was being said from the various cockpits. They were doing a simple maneuver where Maverick and Hangman went after another two jets. This time it was Rooster and Phoenix, but Ice was sure they would switch out just as soon as one team lost. Ice couldn’t help but smile as he brought the headphones up to press against his left ear without putting them fully on. This had been something he remembered doing when he was a student at Top Gun.
“Break left, Rooster,” Phoenix shouted into their coms. “I can’t get missile lock if you’re weaving around them.”
Rooster let out a short laugh. “Then I’d say your aim has taken quite a dip, Phoenix. Maybe I can help you with that later?”
“Asshole!”
Ice rolled his eyes at their shenanigans. The joking quality of their voices reminded him of himself and Maverick back when they were their age. A deep ache settled into his heart despite the fact that he would see Maverick in a few minutes time.
Ice continued to listen in until he heard Maverick’s voice ring loudly through the comms. “Shit! I have an engine out! System is fried. Going to have to bring it in, carefully. Fuck! Shit!”
“Mav, you good,” Rooster called.
Maverick grunted. “Getting a bit hot in here. Make sure not to get too close. Don’t want to bring anyone else down with me.”
Ice’s heart immediately leapt into his throat while tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. Maverick’s engine was blown and that was dangerous, actually it was beyond dangerous. Pilots had died from that in the past, and still did way too frequently.
Suddenly, Ice stood and stumbled back from the headphones as he heard Rooster and Phoenix shouting on the comms while Maverick fought not to be caught in a tailspin. Although Maverick had dealt with numerous blown engines in his time in the Navy, and knew exactly what to do to keep himself and everyone else as safe as possible, Ice’s thoughts ran wild to the worst case scenario.
“No, no,” Ice whimpered, throat constricting in emotion. His hands began to shake as they came over his head. His lungs felt like someone was squeezing them from the inside out, making taking a deep breath nearly impossible. Numbness spread through his fingers all the way his forearm. Each step was heavy and Ice momentarily wondered if his leg was even moving. Nausea rose inside of his stomach and it was only a few deliberate swallows that stopped Ice from getting sick right then and there.
“Mav, you gotta be okay. Maverick.” Ice shuffled over to the corner of the room and sat down in one of the chairs. His legs began to bounce uncontrollably as he reached a hand down to fist as his knee, breathing coming in frantic pants. “Pete? Please don’t leave me.”
Ice couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks and dripping on his uniform. A sob shook his entire body as his fist came up to press against his mouth to muffle the sound of anguish leaving his body.
He had no idea how long he was there, shaking and crying as fear overwhelmed him when he finally felt a hand on his shoulder. His head snapped up to find Maverick, dirty and sweat coated kneeling in front of him with his hands rested lightly on his knees.
“Hey, pal.”
Ice suddenly launched himself forward and wrapped his arms around Maverick’s shoulders as he sobbed into his chest. His entire body shook as lightheadedness plagued them, threatening to take his balance at any second.
“Okay, alright, it’s okay. I’m alright....I’m not hurt.” Maverick couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t say the same for the jet, but luckily that’s the Navy’s problem.”
Ice couldn’t let go, and his grip only tightened when he felt Maverick try to pull away.
Maverick gave Ice’s arms a small squeeze, feeling just how tense Ice really was. “Tell you what,” Maverick whispered as he pulled Ice’s head down enough that he could whisper and Ice could hear. “How about we go somewhere a little quieter and more private? Think that’ll help?”
Ice said nothing and only held Maverick tighter, as if letting him go would automatically let the shorter pilot slip right from his grasp, which was something Ice couldn’t handle.
Maverick managed to wriggle free of Ice’s death grip while letting Ice hold his hand so that they were still connected. It took a few rather sharp tugs before Ice got the memo and followed after Maverick, far from calm.
Stepping outside into the hallway was certainly not preferable. That last thing that Ice wanted was for everyone else to see how shaken up he had been just because of Maverick.
Maverick seemed to understand that and purposely walked in front of Ice, obstructing everyone else’s view. It was rather quiet in the hallways, which helped immensely.
It didn’t take long for them to stop by the bathrooms and Maverick slipped in with Ice right behind. After doing a quick sweep to make sure no one else was in there, Maverick bounded back over to the door and twisted the lock. He gave it a strong shake with outstretched hands to check the sturdiness before walking back over to Ice.
“That should buy us some time,” Maverick explained with a smile. “Lucky for us it’s pretty quiet on base today.”
Instead of answering verbally, Ice began to break down once again. His cries grew louder in intensity while his entire body shook. One hand came up to cup over his mouth, while the other grasped his chest as his heart throbbed in pain, beating fiercely against his ribs. Sounds were heightened as well with Ice able to hear the dripping of a faucet and the soft laugher from outside. It wasn’t something he would ordinarily pick up on, yet now it was too loud not to be noticeable.
Harsh ringing echoed in Ice’s ears and everything felt so far away. He was well aware that someone was tying to speak to him, but the ringing drowned it out and made him feel like he was floating over his body, able to see what was going on while having absolutely no reaction to it.
“Ice? Honey? Tom!” Maverick reached out to grab Ice’s hands and clasped them tightly, giving them a slight jiggle. “Sweetheart, I need you to take a deep breath for me.”
Ice showed no signs of noticing that Maverick was even there as he breathed shallowly, tears running down his face.
Maverick released Ice’s hands and shook out his hands as he surveyed just how consumed by fear that Ice really was. He had never seen him have a reaction such as this and he felt out of his element as the one to help him through it.
“Ice, it’s aright. I’m right here.” Maverick went for his hands again, but Ice was quick to pull them back and press them against his chest, breath still coming in ragged pants.
Maverick dipped his head and forced a smile on his face. “Okay, that’s alright. I don’t have to touch you right now. I’m just going to stand right here beside you, but you let me know if you need anymore space.”
Instead of answering verbally, Ice bolted over to the corner of the bathroom and sat down, back pressed firmly against the wall. His eyes opened wide and he was able to focus on Maverick for the first time, who was hesitantly creeping closer to Ice as though he was approaching a wild animal. The last thing that he wanted was to spook him.
“I thought you died,” Ice managed to choke out between sobs.
Maverick’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“Your engine blew....I heard it!” Ice took in a sudden breath that left him shaking with fear. “You could’ve gone in a tailspin, or lost your second engine or—“
“But I didn’t,” Maverick interrupted before Ice could go down that rabbit hole where would be no turning back. “I’m okay and so is everyone else. My jet may not be, but that’s what the Navy is for. They have the deep pockets, not us.”
Ice didn’t even crack a smile at the joke, only lifted his hands and covered his head, pulling at the short hairs on the back of his neck. “I can’t lose you. Even after you fly so recklessly! Can’t believe you can’t fucking learn!”
Maverick didn’t take it personally and crouched down a few feet away from Ice. The words stung more than he cared to admit, but this was Ice’s panic response and not a reflection of what he really felt. It was that reminder that eased Maverick’s fears.
“I know I don’t always make the best choices up there, but I would never willingly put anyone in danger, especially those kids. They rely on us, Ice. I don’t plan on leaving them teacherless anytime soon.” Maverick scooted closer, relieved that Ice didn’t immediately shy away. “We’ve trained for this. It was a freak accident that could’ve happened to anyone. Besides, I’m not hurt. See?” Maverick motioned to his entire body. His flight suit was ripped in places and he was in desperate need of a shower, but other than that Ice couldn’t see any injuries.
“I can’t lose you,” Ice repeated as he began to hyperventilate. “I can’t....I just can’t! You’re my everything!”
Maverick was momentarily stunned by Ice’s shouts of both anger and affection. That was something that he hadn’t had to deal with before.
“I love you too, Ice. You know that I will do anything to make sure that I get home every time, just like you do when you travel.” Maverick licked his dry lips. “And I know it’s different, but I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m too stubborn to die.”
Ice whimpered as he brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face down, breathing quickening until he was gasping.
“Hey, that’s not going to help.” Maverick rushed forward and sat beside Ice, his shoulder pressing into him. When Ice didn’t immediately shy away from the touch, Maverick reached out towards him. “You gotta take some deep breaths. We can’t have you passing out.”
Ice shook his head against his knees. His back went rigid and Maverick momentarily feared he was going to fall over right then and there.
Maverick reached over and grabbed Ice’s hands and gave them a small pull. He meant to just hold them, but when Ice’s head snapped up with a look of pure terror on his face, Maverick realized he had to do something drastic.
“It’s okay. You’re with me and I’m okay. Nothing is going to happen to either of us, not while I’m around to have a say that is.” Maverick shook his head to clear it at the absurdity that he just said. Hopefully Ice didn’t pick up on that.
Ice leaned into his touch before lifting his hand with Maverick still holding it against Maverick’s chest. There he could feel the steady thump of his heart against his chest and the terror that was once in Ice’s eyes was replaced by an eerie calmness. He pressed harder until Maverick got the hint to wrap him tightly in a hug, applying pressure as much as possible against Ice.
“That’s right,” Maverick soothed. “You can feel my heart. I’m okay, and I’m right here beside you. Focus on my heart, focus on my words, and focus on my touch. I’m not going to move until you want me to, alright? We can stay here as long as you need to.”
Ice clung on to Maverick’s every word, both hands still pressed against Maverick’s chest. His breathing was still sporadic, but hearing Maverick breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth prompted Ice to do the same to copy the man beside him. He kept his gaze trained on Maverick as though the minute that he looked away, his wingman may be lost forever. That was something he couldn’t even begin to fathom.
Maverick lightly pressed a kiss to Ice’s forehead as his breathing began to slow. “That’s it. Listen to my voice and feel everything around you. The ground, me, the wall, whatever you need to. You’re okay and so I am. It’s all going to be alright.”
Ice couldn’t bring himself to speak, though he did allow his head to slump against Maverick’s chest, trading feeling Maverick’s heartbeat with his hands to listen to it with his ear. It was still as powerful as ever and Ice swore that he felt his own syncing to it as well. The sound was so familiar that Ice momentarily pondered whether or not he would be able to find Maverick’s heartbeat out of a group. He decided probably not, but he could certainly wish that would be the case.
Maverick allowed Ice to relax as much into him as he needed to. His own thoughts were racing too if he was being honest with himself. He knew only too well how dangerous losing an engine like that could be. He had barely calmed himself down enough to deal with it when he was thinking about how he had lost Goose. That wasn’t something he could tell Ice though, at least not at the moment when it was clear he was having his own dreadful thoughts about it.
“Hmmm, Mav,” Ice mumbled a short while later.
Maverick blinked his eyes to clear the fog from his thoughts as he looked down and the man in his arms. “Yeah, Ice? Did you say something?”
“Where did you go?”
“I didn’t go anywhere. I’ve been right here with you, which is the only place I ever want to be,” Maverick joked smartly as he pressed a kiss to the top of Ice’s head.
Ice sighed, blinking a few remainder tears from his eyes. “What were you thinking about?”
“Was it that obvious that I was thinking?”
“You have a tell.” Ice lifted a hand and brushed his thumbs against the wrinkles at the corner of Maverick’s eyes. “I can always tell when you’re thinking.”
“I guess that’s what I get for being with the most observant man in the Navy.” Maverick sighed, forcing himself to remain calm. “I think it may have rattled me a little more than I let on. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, even though we’ve trained for what to do.”
Ice butted his head back against Maverick’s chest. “I think I’m okay to get up now,” he announced.
“You sure? Because we can stay down here as long as you need to.” Maverick lifted his hand to cascade his fingers through Ice’s hair, careful not to mess it up.
Ice raised a hand and slowly peeled himself away from Maverick with Maverick steadying him when he slumped to the side. Maverick pressed his lips into a tight line as he watched Ice struggle to his feet, only to slump back down, reminding Maverick that they both weren’t as young as they used to be.
“Alright, I take that as you’re sure.” Maverick jumped up and lowered his hand for Ice to take. He hauled Ice easily to his feet and the two held hands tightly. Maverick’s heart leapt in his chest before he reminded himself where they were. Although there were no cameras in the bathroom, he certainly didn’t want anyone to say anything with Ice being an Admiral and all, and Maverick being an instructor at Top Gun. That was just attention they didn’t need.
Ice gave Maverick a look that told him everything that Maverick needed to know. Maverick settled for pressing his forehead against Ice’s, a smile clear on both of their faces.
“Let’s go home,” Maverick whispered as he rested his hands on Ice’s hips before quickly bringing them higher, a flicker of mischief glowing in his eyes. “Where I can show you just how much I love you.”
“Now that is something I can get behind.”