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Their hands are shaking, gloves seeped in magenta blood. Their body aches and burns and screams, and their legs so desperately wish to run - but there's not much use.
Their arms pull their brother closer, head burying into inky black hair. Their breathing is stuttered in their chest and gods how they wish they had more time. (But life is fickle like that; rarely do you get the time you wish for.)
They let out a small sob, tears and blood unabashedly falling off their chin into his hair. Their wings shift against their back, meekly attempting to hide the siblings from the world. "I'm sorry- Gods, Rae, I'm so sorry." They really are a shitty brother, aren't they?
"Don't-" Rae's voice is choked, and he leans hesitantly into them. Blood soaks into their tanktop, an itch slowly growing under their skin. "Don't- Don't apologize, Sherb." They let out a small sob at the name, tears bubbling and falling oh so much quicker.
"Rae- Rae no- I-" They take a breath, everything feeling like too much and not enough at the same time. "No, I'm going to apologize. Because- Because even if it doesn't make up for everything I've done - Gods, how I'm sorry."
Rae makes a small noise, leaning into them softly. Blood continues to seep. "I- I really wanted you dead after Jamie." It's a small confession, one that doesn't surprise them. (The scar on their arm burns at the words.) "Icarus, I've wanted you dead for so long, now-" He coughs, blood bubbling up over his lips. Their wings pull tighter around them, tears falling quietly. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you get out of that. But you were-"
"Rae, don't- Don't apologize for that, please." They laugh quietly into his hair. His tail shifts around them, wrapping loosely around their leg. "Please, I- I was pushing people away. Don't. Don't apologize for not being able to save me - I didn't- I didn't think I could be saved."
He laughs, the sound amused. "I don't think- I don't think any of us did." There's a small pause, where his breathing stutters, growing shallower by the minute. His blood continues to soak their clothes. "Maybe Violet did." He leans into them, loosely wrapping their torso in a hug. "I think Violet- I think he still believed - believes - in you, Icarus."
They lapse into a small silence after that, their breathing growing shakier in their chest with the downplay of their panic, while their brother's only grows shallower. (He can't- Please, gods, he can't. They can't get left alone again - not like this. Please.)
"I- I still love you, Icarus." His voice is quiet, hardly perceptible over the rain that pounds around them. "I don't think I ever really stopped." His voice is breathy, quiet and trailing as his breathing grows shallow. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to tell you more."
They let out a small sob, pulling him closer and tighter into a hug - not paying much mind to his injuries. (Not that it mattered, he was dying anyway.) "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Rae. I love you so much. I'm-" The words catch in their throat. "I'm gonna miss you."
"'M gonna miss you too, Sherb." He leans further into them, his breathing stuttering in and out. "'M sorry this is a pretty shitty- shitty goodbye."
They hold him closer, tears soaking into his hair like his blood into their shirt. "Least we get to say it, yeah?" When he doesn't respond, his breathing hardly there, they mumble their following words quietly against his head. "I'm really gonna miss you." They take a shuttering breath. "Goodbye, Rae. Maybe one day we'll see each other again."
(They drop the act after his breathing goes cold for more than a few minutes. The panic building until they're sobbing, barely able to catch their breath against him.)
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(Violet comforts them later, curled into his side on the couch in the Ghaae house's living room, quiet words they can't hear over their heartbeat. His hand runs gently through their hair, meekly detangling the mess of knots that's built in the past months.
Their own breathing stutters in and out for what's probably the millionth time, shaky gasp escaping them as air refills their lungs. Violet shifts, the avian hasn't said a word since they curled up into his side - and even before that, they weren't saying much. "Ic. You gotta breathe."
"....'S hard." Their words are a quiet mumble, their hands reaching up to smear the tears that fall from their face. (It was - Icarus wasn't lying about that.)
"I know, I know. But you still need to do it."
(They almost didn't want to anymore.))
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