Chapter Text
“Norm, it's time to wake up. You gotta get ready for school.”
Lincoln let out a soft groan, muttering something incomprehensible and pulling the blanket over his head.
“Normally Lee, get up. We have to leave in twenty minutes.” The voice said, more stern than before. Lincoln sat up, curly hair falling in his face. “Wha-huh?” He stammered shooting out of bed. “Why am-” He cut himself off, looking in the mirror.
Instead of seeing himself, he saw Normal, his curly hair a total mess from sleep and the baggy t-shirt the shorter boy had stolen from him hanging off his frame. His eyes went wide. “O-Okay Mrs- M-Mom. I'll be down soon.” He stammered out, quickly closing the door. He looked at himself again before taking a deep breath and starting to get ready.
—---------
Scary groaned as she heard her alarm going off, quickly silencing it and sitting up. Her feet hit the plush carpet as she stood up and stretched. She walked to what she thought was the bathroom, still half asleep as she heard a gasp.
“Taylor, what are you doing? You know you're not allowed in my office.” A familiar voice said, ushering her out of the room.
“...Need to piss.” She muttered, feeling a hand usher her to another room. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You have a bathroom connected to your room.”
Scary nodded, before furrowing her brows and finally fully waking up. “Uh- I'm okay.” She said, looking at Cassandra and stepping into the bathroom. She closed the door and walked over to the sink, splashing cold water over her face. She looked up, her eyes going wide.
“What the fuck?!” She yelled, looking at the reflection in the mirror. She touched the horns that were on her-no, Taylor's forehead, wincing slightly. “Jesus fucking christ. I’m going to fucking kill him.” She muttered, before getting ready.
—--------------
“Good morning my sweet boy!” A chipper voice sang, cutting out the sound of the cheering from the alarm. Normal groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
“C'mon Lincoln, time to get up! Daddy is downstairs making breakfast!”
“I-huh?” Normal stammered out, his brows furrowing. He got out of bed, looking at the older man.
“Linc, how many times have I told you not to sleep in your binder? I hate to do this, buddy. But you can't wear it today. You have to let your ribs and muscles have a break. You can use the tape, but no binder.” Grant said, sighing lightly.
“I-but-”
“Ah, not buts. You know the rules, Linky. Take your binder off and put a hoodie on and come down for breakfast.” Grant said, closing the door and leaving Normal alone to his devices.
—----------------
“Scary, it's time to-”
“Mmh, noo-” Taylor whined, stretching and sitting up. “Ow, fuck.” He hissed, getting a sharp pain in his abdomen.
“Scary, language.” Veronica said, crossing her arms. “You gotta get up for school.” She said, closing the door. Taylor sighed and stood up, stretching and looking at himself in the mirror. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” He screeched, doubling over in pain. “Jesus fucking christ!”
“Theresa Auriela Marlowe, language!” Veronica yelled, causing Taylor to groan. He got dressed and walked downstairs, huffing.
“Scary, hon, do you need any more tampons?”
“Ew, what the fuck? No thanks.”
“Theresa.” Veronica said, her voice stern. “Send me a text if you need anything. You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, by the way.”
—-------------
Normal walked into the school, gently tugging on his shirt and sighing.
“Alright Linc, have a good day. I'll be in here if you need me at all.” Grant said, motioning to the library. Normal nodded softly, yawning and taking a sip of the coffee in the thermos in his hands.
As the kids started filing in, Taylor quickly walked up to him, a beanie desperately trying to cover the two bumps on his head.
“Linc, you won't fucking believe what happened. This sounds fucking crazy but I'm-”
“Okay Taylor, I need you to slow down. I'm still trying to wake up.”
“I'm not- It's Scary, Linc. I switched bodies with Taylor. I know this sounds crazy but-”
“No, I believe you. Linc and I switched bodies too.” Normal said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Speaking of Linc and Taylor, where-”
“GIVE ME BACK MY BODY ASSHOLE!” Scary's voice yelled over the crowd, stomping over to the two. “I don't know how the fuck this happened but I want my body back. Being a girl sucks.”
“Wh-Oh. Holy shit!” Scary said, starting to laugh. “Sorry, dude.” She said, gently patting Taylor's back.
“Why didn't you-”
“Oh, about my period? No offence, but I don't wanna talk about how I bleed out of my fucking vagina.” Scary replied, crossing her arms. Taylor groaned and dramatically leaned against the locker.
“I feel like I'm getting stabbed!” Taylor whined, which caused Scary to sigh. “Come to my locker. I have midol and stick on heating pads. Did you change before you got here?” Scary asked, furrowing her brows when Taylor shook his head.
“Jesus chri- Norm, we'll be in the gross bathroom if you need us. If Linc gets here before we're back just meet us there. Taylor, if you get me toxic shock syndrome, I will kick your ass.” Scary said, dragging Taylor off.
Lincoln approached the locker, clearing his throat. “Hey, um- are you-?” He stammered out, moving to hug Normal.
“Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?” Normal asked, holding his boyfriend close to his chest. “Um-if we switch back today…you aren't wearing your binder. A-And I couldn't figure out the tape so-”
“Hoodie?”
“Hoodie, yeah.” Normal said, taking a deep breath. “I tried to use the tape but-”
“Normal,” Lincoln started, cupping the other teens face. “It's okay, really. Don't worry about it.” He whispered.
—-----
“How the fuck do you do this Scary? This is-ow-” Taylor whined, leaning forward.
“It's called building tolerance and a shit ton of midol. I'm also supposed to be on birth control to help with the pain and stuff but, you know, I haven't yet.” Scary replied, grabbing a small drawstring bag out of her locker and taking Taylor to the gross bathroom.
“Okay, so, what I need you to do is go put this on. Then come back out here and I'll help you get the heating pad on.”
“What the- this is gross.”
“Taylor, just do it. I've been going through this for seven years, I know what I'm doing.”
Five minutes passed and Taylor came out of the stall, huffing softly. “Your body sucks.” He spat, sticking his tongue out.
“Oh? You've got fucking horns, Taylor. Do you know how hard it was to get dressed this morning?” Scary retorted, huffing and crossing her arms. “Your stupid fucking lips keep getting caught on your braces and it hurts so fucking bad.” She snapped, turning away. Taylor scoffed.
“You know what Scary? I- Fuck you!” Taylor snapped, storming out of the bathroom.
—-------
After school, the group headed to headquarters. Lincoln sighed and flung his bag on the ground. “We should tell our dads.” He said, crossing his arms. “I mean, they may know how to fix this or what caused this.”
Taylor sighed and sat on the ground, crossing his legs. “I agree. I wanna get back in my body. This body sucks.”
“Well, fuck you too Taylor.” Scary hissed, putting the boolean down and leaving the room. “I'm going to find Terry. He knows magic shit.” She said as she left, making her way to the office.
Scary stepped in the office, immediately plopping in front of Terry Jr. and sighing.
“Oh, um. Taylor, did Sc-”
“Long story short, we all switched bodies. I'm Scary. Can you help? Taylor keeps bitching and moaning about cramps and I'm tired of it.” Scary said, huffing softly.
“Oh! Um, okay. How do I know this isn't a prank?” The older man said, raising an eyebrow.
“Because if I was Taylor, how would I know that we had smothered chicken but you made me eggplant parm last night for dinner?” The teen said, crossing her arms. Terry's eyes went wide as he stood up.
“Okay! Um. Where are the rest of-”
“Still putting their stuff away. I think Taylor's laying on the ground though.” She said, standing up as the rest of the group came in.