Chapter Text
Sacrifice was a natural part of the Spawn; it’s how its members were blessed. But it’s something that Two Time hated being expected to do. It truly was a conflict they had with themself, the idea of harming a loved one was too much for the person, yet if they were truly loyal, there’d be no hesitation. Loyalty to the spawn was dear to Two Time, so they had been preparing themself for the day their mentor would tell them to do so.
When they were called that night, their hands were shaking at the idea. They didn’t want to; it seemed so violent, and they had heard of others who had messed up and trapped their lovers to be lifeless forever. Their mentor called out to them, leading them to a quiet area in which they’d speak of what Two Time was dreading.
“I know the thought is overwhelming,” Amarah spoke comfortingly, yet the soft tone only added to Two Time’s anxiety. Two Time took a deep breath. “But you’re not taking a life, you’re blessing them. You have been prepared thoroughly, so I believe it won’t go wrong.”
“That’s not it…” Two Time protests, despite the possibility of messing up, being the thing that messes with them the most. “I have faith in our lord that he’d bless the ceremony,” the words are rehearsed, but they feel shaky in their loyalty. They don’t want their mentor to worry about their faith. It’s comforting words to both sides, a reassurance of Two Time’s faith.
“So why do you stress?” Amarah asks, “You’ve never had an issue with seeing others perform the ritual, and I’m sure Azure is quite loyal as well to accept his position once he realises. I’ve met with him and he truly trusts you” Two Time’s breath falters, and before thinking- their mouth is moving.
“It’s not right currently, it would betray a teaching,” Two Time impulsively states. It sounds like a fact, and their mind goes over all the teachings of the Spawn to try and think if there was anything they’ve been taught to make it so. There are quite a few instances in which sacrifice is actually discouraged from being performed. Certain ceremonies, Days of mourning, out of anger, some holidays, birthdays. Their mind explores for one that would make sense out of desperation to prove to themself why it would be wrong for them specifically.
“Which one?” Amarah asks nonjudgmental, yet his brows furrow at what Two Time could be referring to. In reality, there was none, it was a perfect time for the sacrifice in the traditional sense, but before Two Time could think of saying that, before they’d admit their fears, they’re mouth was moving again.
”I’m pregnant- with Azure’s child,” were the words to fall from Two Time’s mouth. They knew they weren’t pregnant- as both Azure and them were virgins, and the young believer didn’t even mean to say it. It wasn’t even allowed for Two Time to be pregnant before having to undergo any ceremonies to declare each other as a pair. It wasn’t too large of a punishable sin, though; still, the words seemed to cause both student and teacher to pause in disbelief.
With those words, they rejected the power to gift and receive the greatest gift the spawn could ever bless either them or their lover with. A tinge in their heart for the rights they stole from their love. Grief for the life they stole. Dread breathes down their spine as they realise what they said.
“Oh,” was the first thing that came from the older. Two Time was basically frozen from panic but managed to have none of said emotion outwardly visible. They simply looked nervous and honest on the outside. “That changes things quite a bit- doesn’t it?”
Two Time can’t bring themself to correct their misspoke, so they nod with a nervous smile and close their eyes to avoid their teacher’s gaze. Maybe when they open them, they’ll be in bed. “It does, doesn’t it?”
The following silence was something similar to a car ride from school when a parent gets called by the school counsellor that their teenage daughter was pregnant. Of course, Amarah wasn’t Two Time’s parent- nor was Two Time a teenage girl but the shame was the same. A slow, steady hand pats the younger’s head with a small chuckle. It causes the Two Time to open their eyes again, and they’re still there with their teacher.
The touch is caring, reassuring, everything a pet could be. It could be the most calming gesture in the world.
It felt like being shot in the head to Two Time.
“You have to be more careful,” Amarah scolds quietly. Those no aggression in the older’s words. Two Time sinks in shame. “Does he know?”
“What?”
“Azure- is he aware of the pregnancy?” Amarah asks. Another door opened for the house of truth.
“No, I was too ashamed,” and it was slammed shut. Amarah hums slightly, considering the other’s situation.
“If you wish, we could find a doctor who could prevent it from increasing in size. You’d be able to perform the ritual still.”
“I want to keep it,” Two Time states, fully accepting that they’re not going to tell the truth. They feel sinful and dirty for the deception- yet they keep preventing themself from cleaning their skin.
“Ah,” a pause, “I’ll… inform the leaders soon then. I’ll give you a week to tell him or change your mind about keeping it, alright?” the mentor offers. Two Time nods along quietly.
“If you don’t tell him, I’ll force you to end its development,” he adds. It’s certainly a rule- and Two Time is silently screaming at themself for fucking up so badly, for sinning, for anything else that they’re doing- yet they smile at their teacher.
“Thank you for being so considerate,” Two Time thanked quietly. Amarah got up silently, Two Time following as they opened the door to where they were staying. Amarah stands beside it, gesturing for Two Time to leave. “Spawn bless you,” he says to the younger. Two Time pauses, looking at Amarah. The guilt suffocates their throat.
“Spawn bless you, too,” They say, leaving. They’re not really sure if they’re allowed to say those words.