Work Text:
He was only able to stuff three day’s worth of clothes in his backpack. That would have to just be another problem for future Marty. Those problems were stacking up at an alarming rate for him, but it wasn’t much present Marty could help.
The remaining space in his backpack went to basic toiletries, granola bars, a water bottle, cassette tapes, and his notepad of lyrics. Papers, folders, and notebooks– the backpack’s original occupants– now sat discarded in a heap on the floor. He wouldn’t need them anymore. He thought he’d feel some satisfaction, taking his schoolwork out of his backpack for the last time, knowing none of it would bother him again. Instead, he felt a murky melancholy.
He dragged the zipper around the arc, sealing all he’ll have left. He stood up, taking in his room one last time. The bed piled with strewn blankets, the nightstand still carrying old chocolate wrappers and Pepsi Free cans. The posters of various rock idols adorning his walls. They used to remind him of his future– now they stand as bleak ghosts of hope.
His electric guitar stood longingly in the corner against its amp. Marty regretted leaving it behind– it was the culmination of a year and a half’s pay from working for Doc. He had only bought it a few months ago. Unfortunately, he couldn’t lug it around with him where he was going, wherever that was.
He slung the backpack over his shoulder and turned around, coming face to face with his mom, standing in the doorway. Subtle tear stains dotted her cheeks, but her eyes were dry and dull. Her lips pressed into a thin line, holding back words Marty wished she would just say out loud.
Her silence weighed down on Marty’s own words and turned his thoughts to static. What is there to say, now?
So many things. How much he loves her. How he wishes things weren’t this way. False assurances that he’ll see her again. Fond memories or a half-hearted joke. Something for the final moments with his own mother.
The same could be said for his mom. Where does he plan to go? Does he have everything he needs? Suggestions, plans for moving ahead. Motherly reassurances. Begging for him not to go. Motherly assurances. I’ll miss you. I love you. I’ll see you again, soon.
Marty wanted to hear his mother’s voice speak at least one of those things. He knew she was thinking of some of them. He hoped she was. He wanted to hear them out loud. But never once had she. Silence when he made the deal. Silence when he packed. Silence now. Even her crying when the Tannens left was silent dripping, not the explosive waterfall he, maybe selfishly, wanted to see.
It’s always been silence, though. Whenever they handed over another payment. Whenever the Tannens asked for more. Silence during their threats. Silence when money dried up. Silence when Dave and Linda left. Silence whenever he came home with bruises. Silence when gunshots rang out in the middle of the day. Silence when their neighbor never returned. Because the strength to do anything else had long since withered away.
His mom brushed her hand through his hair. Just like she did when he was young, sitting in the back of the living room, hearing his father shakily speak with mean voices at the door. One day, the motion wasn’t calming enough, and Marty had stormed into view to the doorway and yelled at the men to leave his dad alone. A little nine-year-old shouting at the crime family that ran the town. That, marked the beginning of his specific animosity with the Tannens.
Despite it leading to this moment, he couldn’t bring himself to feel a drop of remorse. He never felt any after every black eye, every sprained ligament, every scar. This was no different. At least this time, he was getting a win out of it.
When his mom at last pulled him into a hug, he stood still for a moment before returning it. He lifted his arms slow and steady, trying to control the distant roaring of emotions coursing through him. Once his arms made it around her, he hugged as tight as he could. His arms trembled from the pressure– saying everything his words were failing to.
The shifting of carpet signaled that his dad was here now. He opened his eyes to see him a foot from the doorway. Marty pulled away from his mom to move to him, getting down on his knee.
“Son…”
His voice is quiet, but it’s still a word. The silence’s weight is lifted.
“I’ll be okay, dad,” Marty says. That’s what has been running through his head for the past hour. He’ll be okay. How? That was the question he was avoiding.
Marty leaned forward for another embrace. He’s careful to not squeeze as hard as he did his mom.
His dad is so thin. So fragile. And Marty was leaving him. He was the last line of defense against the Tannens. Now he wouldn’t be around to protect either of his parents.
Though, maybe, he had been doing the opposite of protecting all these years. Maybe he’d been making things worse by provoking the crime family. How many times had he actually saved his family from any more heartache? Maybe he ended up directing the violence towards himself rather than his parents, but there was still violence in the end.
“I’m so sorry,” his dad whispered.
Sorry is all that could be said. Sorry about everything that had spiraled far out of anyone’s control. A sorry of helplessness. That’s what all of them were, really. Marty was sorry too.
He had to let go. He stood up, looking at both of his parents. This would be the last time he’d see them, so he took in every last bit of detail in hopes his memory will actually take them in. The couple of gray strands infiltrated his mother’s brown hair. The bags under his father’s eyes from years of troubled sleep from his constant pains. But the love, as quiet as it was, in both of their tired eyes. That was what he latched onto. That’s what he always had latched onto.
“Don’t forget your skateboard,” his mother at last spoke, handing him his only mode of transportation. Now more than ever he was grateful he learned the art of car surfing.
“Right, thanks,” Marty mumbled, taking it from her. Maybe he was disappointed it was the board that finally prompted her to speak.
It was his feet that moved without his thoughts. They turned him around and brought him to the door. Lifted his hands and slipped open each lock. The final click snapped him out of his trance. He turned around, seeing his parents standing behind him, watching with that solemn silence.
“I love you guys,” Marty expresses, his quiet voice wavering against the silence. He couldn’t bring himself to add, I’ll see you again. That was a promise too far fetched to utter.
“Marty-” his mom choked. She rushed towards him, pulling him into a hug. A real, strong, enveloping embrace. He could hear her shuddering breaths with his ear against her chest. “My baby.”
His throat closed up and all he could do was bury his face deeper into her. He could still smell the faint trace of alcohol. The smell had dampened over the past year thanks to finances. He guessed he could thank the Tannens for that, but he’s pretty sure they caused most of her drinking sessions in the first place.
“You’ve always been such a good kid, Marty. So full of life and drive. Never lose that.”
He didn’t feel like such a good kid now. Leaving his parents like this. He was feeling hints of regret. When he made the deal, he was focused on lessening the burden. He didn’t think about the new burden he’d be creating.
“I’m sorry,” Marty whispered, his voice cracking.
“Shhh,” his mom hushed gently. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he uttered back, shutting his eyes and focusing on taking hold of his breathing. When he managed to, he pulled away. Now his mother’s face was pink and puffy, the tear stains covered by wetness. Maybe this was more what he had hoped for, selfishly. Now he didn’t. He looked away. He didn’t want his last memory of her to be so heartbroken.
He turned around and opened the door. He paused. Something more came to the forefront of his throat. A goodbye. But it stayed stuck. He didn’t want to say it. He often fell victim to silence too.
He stepped out the doorway, looked back at his parents one last time, pulled a smile, and shut the door.
Marty pulled his jacket tighter around him as rolled down the sidewalk. Any more and he’d make it hard to take full breaths. Not that he could in the first place with the frigid air. It was only going to get worse once the sun set in a couple hours.
He was reaching the end of his plan. Once he said goodbye to Doc, he would be walking aimlessly.
He supposes he should head towards Grass Valley, since it was the closest town. It would still be a several hour journey, unless he could get a good car to hitch on the back of. He had about eighty dollars nestled in his wallet, but he needed to save it for more important things than a bus ticket. Walking between towns in the dead of night was less than ideal, but nothing about this was ideal in the first place. He’ll just have to manage.
Once he got to Grass Valley, what then? Eighty dollars could get him a couple nights at the cheapest motel and some food. He’d need to find a job somewhere. Maybe a Burger King, like what Dave used to work at. How long would a motel let him stay?
That was all assuming the Tannen family didn’t decide to track him down for some fun. That was why he couldn’t go crash at either of his sibling’s places. He didn’t know where they were. None of the family did.
You didn’t leave Hill Valley if you were well watched by the Tannen’s without being able to completely disappear. Nobody knew Dave and Linda were leaving until the morning when all that was left were two envelopes containing letters to each of the remaining McFlys. Marty just hoped they were doing alright, and finally free from the Tannen’s choking reach.
Marty fiddled with the buttons on his jean jacket while he held it closed against his chest. Now that he was out of the house, walking with just a backpack being the last of his belongings, it’s beginning to feel very real. Any time the Tannens roughed him up, he healed for the most part. Life went on in its grueling, suffocating cycle.
Now, he was leaving behind everything. The small comforts he took for granted were getting stripped away. School, a roof under his head, parents, classmates. Life’s cycle broke, and its shattering glass raining down hurt worse than the cycle itself.
His vision warbled and his eyelids dampened. He’s quick to wipe it away and get a hold of his breathing. He’s long learned to be better than tears. Tears empowered the Tannens. He never gave them that satisfaction. Even when they’re not in front of him, he won’t give them it.
Luckily, a familiar garage distracted his eyes from further betraying him. He reached the fence and kicked his skateboard under his arm. He surveyed the area before typing in the code to the gate lock he could do in his sleep.
Doc Brown was the closest person Hill Valley feared equally to the Tannen family. Even the Tannens themselves kept a begrudging distance from the supposed mad scientist. Doc never gave Marty a straight story on that, other than that both parties agreed to stay out of each other’s hair. The garage was the safest place Marty could be at in town. Even still, Marty didn’t trust to stay for long. The Tannens gave him ten hours to get out of town, but he didn’t trust them to stay true to the full ten hours. And he’s sure they would be willing to break whatever understanding they had with Doc to get to him.
Marty still had to tell him goodbye. Doc’s place was the one place the silence couldn’t penetrate. There was always noise from tinkering and the whirling of mechanical gears, or from the constant conversations that filled any other empty space. Doc was the only other person in this town that would care enough if he disappeared. He couldn’t disappear without a word.
He took out his key ring and took off the key. He also needed to return it to Doc. He slid it in the hole, hearing the familiar singular light click, in heavy contrast to the army of them he had to get through for his own house’s, and most houses’, doors.
He’s first greeted by a furry face the moment he opened the door. The dog likely smelled him before he made it to the gate, and was patiently waiting.
“Hey Einie,” Marty chuckled, running his hands methodically through the canine’s long, soft strands on his head. He tried to memorize the sensation so he could bring it with him once he left.
“Hello Marty,” Doc’s cheerful voice followed.
Marty lifted his head, a smile only Doc could create spread onto his face. It would probably be a very long time until something similar would return again. It dissipated when he remembered the key in his hand.
“Hey Doc,” Marty replied with half as much beat, handing the key to him.
“What is it? Is there something wrong with the key? You seemed to have gotten in perfectly fine,” Doc asked. Marty sees his eyes drift to his backpack.
“No, no, nothing’s wrong with it. I just gotta give it back to you,” Marty explained. “I’m leaving town.”
Doc’s eyebrows raised and he opened his mouth. But then, his eyes returned to the enlarged backpack, and his brows dropped. “Are you referring to ‘you’ as in you and your family, or ‘you’ as in just yourself?”
“Me. Just me,” Marty conceded.
“And where do you plan to go?”
Marty rubbed the back of his neck. “Figured I’d start with Grass Valley and take it from there.”
“So you don’t have much in the way of a plan,” Doc confirmed.
“Hey, I don’t have a choice. I’ve gotta just figure it out as I go,” Marty defended. “I just came to give you your key back, and tell you goodbye.”
Doc didn’t fall for the distraction. “What do you mean you have no choice, Marty? What have those Tannens done now?”
“They're going to cut my dad’s payments in half.”
His eyes doubled in size. “If you leave town? Is that the deal you’ve made? And you’re assuming they’ll stay to their word?”
“Hey, they can honor a deal. They have with you,” Marty argued.
“That’s because they have a reason to. Well, they believe at least they have a reason to. I won’t deny their fear of me is a bit unfounded,” Doc mused.
Marty wandered over to Doc’s workbench. “I still have to try. My parents need anything they can get.”
He picked up what he recognized to be Einstein's automatic food opener, now with some modification. It had been on the fritz the last week. “Hey, did you figure out how to fix this? It looks a lot different now.”
“Marty.”
Doc’s tone made him put down the invention with a sigh. He should have, no, he did know Doc wasn’t going to let this go. Maybe that was another reason Marty wanted to come by. He wanted that resistance.
He felt Doc’s hand rest on his shoulder, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around and look him in the eyes. “I know you’re doing this for your parents, but what about you? I know you don’t think that matters, or perhaps you are just ignoring it. But you must consider the future, not just this moment.”
“I have considered the future!” Marty stated, his hands squeezing into fists. “In a couple months we won’t have enough money to keep paying the Tannens and keep our house. The only reason we have been doing okay is from the pay you’ve given me. Dad’s medical bills are just too expensive and mom’s lousy barista job denied her a raise again.”
He shrugged, a half-hearted smile lifting his lips. “Besides, I didn’t have much of a future in store. I definitely couldn’t afford college, and I was probably never going to make it big as a musician. I’m not throwing away much.”
“Marty. You’re an excellent musician, I have no doubts you’d be able to make a name for yourself when given the proper opportunity. And as for your future, if you put your mind to it-”
“-you can accomplish anything,” Marty finished. “I know, I know. But I’m putting my mind to this. I’ll be fine Doc, I’m going to figure it out.”
“You just turned sixteen three and a half months ago. Your brain hasn’t come close to being fully developed, and you won’t have anyone to fall back onto when you inevitably make mistakes and work through hardships.”
“Hey, you’ve been a loner for practically all your life, and it worked out just fine,” Marty pointed out.
“That’s not to say it was easy, and that’s not to say there were plenty of times I wished I wasn’t alone,” Doc expressed. “You also aren’t me.”
“Well what do you suggest? That I still stay in Hill Valley now? That’d be a death wish now. My parents wouldn’t leave town in a million years, and it’s not like I know anyone else,” Marty challenged, turning around to face Doc.
“Then it seems I’ll have to come with you.”
Marty started, taking in the dead serious look on his friend’s face. “Woah, wait a minute, wait a minute Doc. What do you mean come with me? You don’t mean-”
“Leaving town with you? Yes, that is exactly what I mean. I won’t let you go off to Grass Valley or wherever else by yourself with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on your shoulders,” Doc announced. The scientist began busying around the garage, gathering various items while Marty stumbled over his words, trying to process.
“But Doc. You can’t just leave the garage– your home! You can’t just get up and leave right now!”
“How long do you have before you need to have left town?”
Marty squinted, counting his fingers. “Uhm, I’ve got about six hours.”
Doc nodded. “Then I’m not leaving right now. I will be leaving with you in about five hours.”
“Wha- no, Doc! That’s not what I-”
“Marty,” the doctor stopped him, placing both hands on his shoulders. “As I said, I won’t let you leave town by yourself. You need someone. I couldn’t stay here with a good conscience knowing you were somewhere out there, and especially not knowing how you were doing. You can not convince me otherwise.”
“But the garage-”
“Is a garage I can sell. Hill Valley offers no incentives to stay now that you will no longer be a part of it. I can pack my inventions and anything else I need in the van and take it to any location we need to go.”
There was not a hint of hesitation in Doc’s eyes. There was only pure determination that dared Marty to ask ‘are you sure?’. His friend would not be talked out of this. There would be no reconsideration for a moment, there would be no more counterarguments. They all withered away under Doc’s look.
The dams so precariously built up broke loose. His breath stuttered and shook and he shoved his head into the doctor. When was the last time he cried in front of someone? Marty always controlled them until it was the dead of night, laying in his bed, in the safety of the covers when nobody could get affected from his breakdowns. He always needed to keep moving and not get hung up on the spiraling emotions until he couldn’t move anymore. He could never cry in front of his parents, he needed to stay strong for them. He couldn’t cry when hurt in a fight, he needed to stay strong against the Tannens. He didn’t cry in front of Doc because his garage was one of the few places he didn’t feel the need.
These tears were different from the ones he’s held back over the past several hours. They weren’t bitter and angry, pained and dispaired. They were filled with relief and hope. The tunnel opened up, no longer closing in on him and letting in more light. The hazy cloud he’s just kept moving through blind was clearing up.
He wasn’t going to be alone.
He was getting to keep one thing he still cared about.
And truthfully at last, he could say things were going to be okay.
…
Buildings he’d lived around his entire life slid past for the last time. Hill Valley had been the same it’s always been for as long as he could remember– small, dreary, dangerous, and stifling. Everyone wanted to leave. Some do, some couldn’t. You could feel the slow decay in the air. Maybe it could have been different, if it wasn’t for the Tannens. Eventually, once they’ve killed this town, they’ll have to move on the greener pastures. By then, it would be too late for Hill Valley.
But, he was getting out before then. He never thought he would. Part of him thought he’d go down with the rest of the town.
He’d always wanted to get out of here. Now that he was, he was wrestling with slivers of remorse. As terrible as it’s always been, Hill Valley had been his home for his whole life. Leaving it felt so unceremonious. Just quietly driving in a large van at night while the better part of Hill Valley slept. Though, that’s how anyone left town. Quiet and small. Was this how Dave and Linda felt when they slipped out?
Maybe. Because while they were leaving everything they ever knew, they had each other. And for Marty, he had Doc. And Einstein, who had opted to curl up as tight as he could to fit on Marty’s lap for the drive. He had his arms wrapped around the mound of fur to keep the dog from falling off while he slept.
Buildings became more scattered. The stars brightened. They passed the sign, ‘You Are Now Leaving Hill Valley’.
He couldn’t remember ever seeing that sign. The McFlys never left town, because otherwise the Tannens ‘couldn’t keep a good eye’ on them.
But now he was out. Out of the town, and out of the Tannen’s grip. For now. But, if the family did come for him, he’d have Doc. Maybe he’d finally tell him how he managed to scare the Tannen’s enough to keep their relative distance.
He glanced to the side mirror, seeing the shadowy dots of Hill Valley behind him. Seeing his parents behind him.
Maybe one day he would be able to get them out. At least for now, Marty hoped he gave them time. He wondered if they missed him right now. Or maybe are now living in the relief of the loosened finances. He didn’t know what he wanted more.
“Are you doing alright, kid?” Doc asked quietly, breaking Marty’s thoughts.
He swallowed and looked up to Doc. His small smile spread on his face, a smile he thought he wouldn’t have anymore. “I think I’m going to be.”
“You look tired. Close your eyes for a moment, we’ll be in Grass Valley in approximately eighteen minutes.”
Marty sighed and leaned back in the seat, shutting his eyes. He didn’t think he’d manage to fall asleep, but the rumbles of the engine and Einstein's slow breathing lulled him into an easy snooze.