Work Text:
Alastor looked up when he heard the bell above the door chime as it was slammed open. The customer stormed up to the counter a fire burning in his eyes. The short, blond, man pulled out his wallet and slammed a hundred-dollar bill on the counter. Alastor looked at it and then turned his gaze to him. The man spoke, “I need a special bouquet.”
“Of course,” Alastor replied, still unpleased with his theatrics, but he was a paying customer. “What’s the occasion?”
“I need to passive aggressively say ‘fuck you’ with flowers,” he answered.
Alastor’s brows raised. Now this was a unique request. Every day, all day, he saw nothing but lovers wanting to profess their devotion or apologize for unintended or simply perceived slights. There were those looking for a gift for celebrations and not just romantic anniversaries either, but graduations, baptisms, or a number of other life milestones. There were also the sadder occasions of funerals and other losses, but he’d yet to see anyone with such rage walk into the store before.
“Well,” Alastor began, “there are a number of ways to go about it. I have a few questions, of course-”
“I’ll pay whatever you need. I want this bitch to know, without my having to say it out loud at first, how much I fucking hate her.”
“Well, yes, how much you were willing to spend on this endeavor was on my list of questions, but how soon do you need it? There are certainly a few things I have currently in stock that would do the trick, but if you want something a bit more stunning, it may take a few days to get them shipped in.”
The man sighed. “I can wait for you to order whatever you need. It’s only been over twenty years, I’m sure another week or so won’t make much difference.”
Alastor pulled out his binder from under the register to get the proper order forms. “I’d love to know what this woman has done to you to earn such scorn. Of course, it’s none of my concern.”
“She’s been fucking my best friend behind my back,” he answered without hesitance. “Been doing it for years. If my kid didn’t look so much like me, I’d question if she were mine.”
Alastor stared at him in disbelief. “Well, I’d say she’s earned some of the best flowers we have available.” He opened the binder and flipped through a few pages. “My suggestion would be a simple, yet elegant bouquet. The three I would suggest for the most striking and definitive to offer your disdain would be foxglove, yellow carnations, and orange lilies.” He showed him sample pictures of each. “Flowers often have multiple meanings, but if you know, then you know. While foxglove is meant to represent healing, magic, and beauty, due to their toxic properties, they also symbolize insincerity and deception.”
“Both of those fit the bill,” he commented.
Alastor smiled. “Now, yellow carnations are one that only have negative symbols. They represent disappointment and rejection. Some have tried to give them contemporary interpretations like a sense of cheerfulness; I’m certain it stems strictly from the color, but anyone who knows, knows there’s only one way to interpret them.”
“And the orange lilies?”
“Now, those are generally seen as more positive, but coupled with the other two, it’ll be easy enough to see we’re using them for their symbolization of hatred not passion and joy,” Alastor answered.
The man looked them over again. “It is a beautiful bouquet,” he commented. He looked up at Alastor. “How long will it take to get them in?”
“I can probably have them in by next week.”
He nodded. “Good. Let’s do it!”
Alastor turned back to the order form. “First thing’s first, I’ll need your name.”
“Lucifer.”
***
Lucifer still wasn’t sure why he hadn’t confronted his wife and his best friend when he finally figured out what was going on between them. He and Lilith had never had any problems! They rarely ever fought and if they did, they were quick to talk things out and get back to a good place together. Only, recently, had he realized that she often ran into Adam’s arms for comfort as well.
“How was work?” Lilith asked him over dinner.
He smiled at her as he always did. God, he loved her, but he hated her so much now. He’d bide his time and act like the perfect fool until he was ready to reveal exactly what he knew. “Good. Another boring day at the office. How was your day?”
She shrugged. “You know me, didn’t do much. Met with Sera to work on the fundraiser for the animal shelter next month. That’s about it.”
“Well, I’m glad it was a good day.” He turned his attention back to his plate. Their anniversary was coming up. They were going to have a big celebration for their twenty-fifth anniversary. Had they really been together that long? And sadly, that whole time, she’d been sleeping with Adam.
Lucifer looked across the table at his wife; Lilith was beautiful and he loved her. He’d loved her for what felt like eternity. It was almost as though he couldn't remember a time before loving her, as though his love for her had always been in existence. They were happy, at least, he’d thought they were. They had a daughter and she was the light of his life. He never felt like he had much purpose before she was born; he was meant to be a dad and Charlie had given him that.
“Charlie should be flying in next week,” Lilith mentioned.
“Really?!” he asked in surprise. “I thought she said she wasn’t gonna be able to make it out for our anniversary party.”
Lilith shrugged. “Guess she was able to move some things around and made it work.” She paused as she looked at her husband in question. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I am,” he assured her, but he wasn’t. He’d decided that since his daughter wasn’t going to be there, he was going to make a big announcement at their anniversary celebration that wouldn’t make everyone there very happy; it would certainly hurt Charlie. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.” He turned back to his meal.
***
Alastor smiled when he saw the short blond man enter the shop again. “Lucifer,” he called to him. “I believe I have your flowers-”
“I need to cancel it,” he interrupted.
Alastor raised a brow. “Well, they’re already here. I was about to work on putting the arrangement together.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need them.”
“Oh? You and your cheating wife have reconciled?” he asked snarkily. He knew it was rude, but the man had been so adamant about telling the woman off only a week ago.
He sighed and shook his head. “No, she’s still a cheating whore, but… My daughter is coming into town.”
“Yes, and?”
Lucifer sighed as he leaned against the counter. “Lilith and I are having a big party for our anniversary. I was gonna call her out then in front of everyone… If Charlie is there…”
“You don’t want to embarrass your daughter,” he finished the thought.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Lucifer looked up, meeting his eyes. “Look, I’ll still pay for them-”
“Unnecessary,” Alastor replied with a forced smile.
“I insist,” he countered. “I still ordered them.”
“Well, if you’re going to pay for them, I may as well make the arrangement for you still. You can choose to give it to her or not.”
He nodded. “That’s fair.”
Both men fell silent. “It’s none of my concern, of course, but are you still planning on ending things with her?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.” He paused and sighed heavily. “I mean, I do know. I know I should. And I want to, but at the same time, I don’t. Lilith and I have been together for so long, I’m almost scared to be without her. Like I don’t even know who I am without her.”
“You were your own man before she came along, were you not?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he replied quietly.
Alastor sighed. “Niffty, dear!” he called to someone else in the shop. A young girl no more than sixteen appeared almost out of nowhere.
“Yes, Alastor?”
“Can you watch the shop for me? I need to get to work putting together an arrangement.”
“Yeah, sure, of course.”
Alastor looked at Lucifer. “Follow me.” He turned and headed to the back room without giving Lucifer the chance to decline. He followed behind him hesitantly. He stepped into the back room where there was a table set up, ready to be used to fill vases and tie bouquets together. Several kinds of flowers were in large buckets that hung all across the walls.
Lucifer looked around and took it all in. “So, this is where the magic happens?” he joked.
Alastor smiled. “Something like that. Please, have a seat.” He pointed at one of the chairs around the table. Once Lucifer sat, he took the other. “So, tell me about her.”
He shrugged. “Not much to tell. We got married when we were young. We’d known each other since we were kids.” He sighed. “I don’t know. It almost feels like we never even had a choice to be together, it was just something everyone knew was gonna happen, so we just played the parts we were expected to play.”
Alastor listened as he worked on the arrangement, trimming the stems and placing them in a vase. “I suppose you loved her once.”
He nodded. “I do love her, but she’s been playing me for an idiot since before we got married.”
“How did you find out about the affair?”
He looked down. “I hadn’t meant to, it wasn’t like I was snooping on her phone or anything, but she left it open on the counter and he texted her. Everything fell into place from there. All the late-nights with her charity groups, her ‘women’s retreats’, I mean, everything. It all suddenly made sense.”
Alastor nodded. “I see and the decision to bring her a bouquet that stated your feelings came about how?”
He grinned mischievously. “Oh, she loves flowers. She has a flower garden. It’s her pride and joy; the one thing that means more to her than anything else, next to our daughter. She’ll know what I mean with these.”
“That makes sense,” Alastor replied as he continued cutting stems and arranging them.
“I’m sorry,” Lucifer finally said with a sigh. “You probably don’t want to hear about this at all.”
Alastor grinned. “Nonsense! I’ll admit I find your story rather entertaining.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Alastor chuckled. “Not like that. I meant, generally the only people who come in here are happy and sickeningly in love. There are a few sad occasions, of course, farewells and funerals and the like, but you’re the first person I’ve ever had come through that door enraged.” He paused. “I am sorry to hear how she’s hurt you. No one deserves that.”
He sighed. “Yeah.”
“Well, I think that’s about done,” Alastor said as he put a black ribbon around the whole of the stems.
Lucifer looked it over. “It’s a beautiful bouquet.”
“Thank you.”
Lucifer looked over at him and considered. “You want to really be entertained?”
“What do you have in mind?”
Lucifer grinned. “Want to come to my anniversary party?”
***
Lucifer knew this was stupid and he continued debating on if he should even do it. Charlie, his daughter, was going to be there and he didn’t want to embarrass her with his theatrics, but Lilith was making an embarrassment of him, so why shouldn’t he do the same to her? He knew Charlie loved her mother, all and all, she was a good mom; part of him didn’t want to let Charlie know what kind of a person her mother was. It didn’t seem fair to spoil the light she saw her in. But when he saw Adam, he knew he had done the right thing.
“Adam! We’re so glad you came!” Lilith greeted him.
“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I mean, twenty-five years! Fucking congrats on that!”
Lucifer felt himself bristle. Twenty-five years of marriage. Six years of courting in school. He’d been with her over thirty years! And how long had she been falling in bed with Adam? They’d met Adam in high school and the guy couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her. Lilith had convinced Lucifer that he was just being possessive, that Adam didn’t really have any interest in her, but now he knew differently.
Lucifer forced a smile. “Thanks. We’re so glad you came to celebrate with us.”
When he finally laid eyes on Charlie, his heart sank. Charlie was the light of his life; she was precious and kind. He warred with himself once more on doing this, but he felt the way his skin crawled as his wife rested her hand on his lower back and he knew he needed to.
“Char-Char!” he greeted happily as he opened his arms to his daughter.
Charlie practically ran to him and jumped in his arms. “Congrats, Daddy!” She pulled away. “I’m sorry, I would have brought a gift-”
“You being here is gift enough,” he assured her. “I didn’t think you were gonna be able to make it, so this is great!”
She smiled. “Well, I wanted to celebrate with you.” She paused. “And I wanted you to meet someone!” She pulled a tall Latinx gal to her side. “Dad, Mom, I want you to meet Vaggie, my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend!?” Lucifer exclaimed. “That’s so great!” He grabbed Vaggie’s hand and shook it hard. “It’s so great to meet you!” Then he pulled her into a tight hug. “Oh, my God! It’s so great to meet you!”
Lilith chuckled as she encouraged him to let Vaggie go. “It’s really nice to meet you Vaggie,” she added.
“It’s really nice to meet you too,” Vaggie replied. “Charlie talks about you guys all the time.”
“Well, Charlie is a really special kid,” Lucifer told her as he smiled at his daughter.
She smiled back at him, but then her expression fell. “Daddy? Are you okay?” she asked in concern.
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m great. Really! I’m just great.”
Charlie looked at her girlfriend. “I’ll be right back.” She grabbed her dad’s hand. “Come on.” She dragged him out of the room. She pulled him into a quiet hallway. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” he quickly answered. “Nothing’s going on. Everything is great! Really! Just great!”
She sighed. “I know you, Dad, you don’t say things are ‘great’ unless you’re trying to hide what’s actually going on, so what is it?”
Lucifer looked away. “I just don’t know how to tell you, kiddo,” he admitted softly.
Charlie reached out and rested a hand on her dad’s arm. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”
He looked up and met her eyes. “This is life-changing, baby girl,” he told her. “I just don’t want to do that to you.” But it had already been set in motion. Alastor would be arriving soon.
“I’d rather be hurt with reality than to live with my head buried in the sand.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay.” He told her everything.
***
Alastor grabbed the bouquet and stepped out of his car. Lucifer had shown he was quite the dramatic person, but this seemed almost extreme. But Alastor couldn’t help feeling entertained by his suggestion.
“Want to come to my anniversary party?” Lucifer had asked.
Alastor considered him for a moment. “I suppose watching you tell the woman off would be quite enjoyable to say the least.”
Lucifer leaned forward conspiratorially. “I was thinking something more… Something bigger.” He paused. “How much more would I need to pay you to personally deliver these?”
Alastor grinned. “I don’t suppose I would charge for that. After all, getting to watch the downfall of this atrocious woman is payment enough.”
Lucifer chuckled as he leaned back in his chair. “But then could you imagine if you and I left together?” He laughed. “God! The look on her face would be priceless!”
Alastor’s grin widened. “I can already see her reaction to my coming in, tossing this bouquet at her, sweeping you off of your feet, and taking you away.”
There was a gleam in Lucifer’s eye. “How much more would that set me back.” Alastor leaned forward. “Let me take you to dinner afterward and we’ll call it even.”
Now, as Alastor stood outside the venue, his heart beat fast. This was going to be so much fun!
Lucifer kept his eye on the door as he and Lilith walked the room to talk to each of their guests. He looked at his watch; Alastor would be there any minute. “Are you late for a train or something?” Lilith joked. “You keep looking at your watch.”
“What? Oh, no, just… Let’s face it, I’m ready for this whole thing to be over. You know what I mean?”
She giggled. “I understand.” She paused and in a low voice continued, “I can’t wait to get out of here with you.”
Lucifer smiled to himself. She had no idea what was coming. He was glad he told Charlie; she was behind him one-hundred percent. He looked up as he saw Alastor quietly step inside. He met his eyes and nodded at him. Alastor nodded in return. Lucifer called out to the room. “May I have everyone’s attention?” All their guests quieted down and turned to him. “Thank you all for coming out tonight. This night has been a long-time coming. I never imagined over thirty years ago, when I first met Lilith, that this was where our journey would take us.”
He looked at Alastor again and nodded, signaling him to come over. He began making his way toward him. Lucifer looked at his wife. “Lili, you have surprised me at every turn. Our life together has been one that has had its ups and downs, but things always seemed to fall into place for us the way they should.” When Alastor reached them, he handed the flowers to Lucifer; he accepted them. “Lili, you’ve always been someone important to me. I just wish I’d been as important to you.”
Her eyes grew wide. “What?!”
He shoved the flowers at her. “I think you know exactly what this means.” He leaned in closer and whispered to her, “I know about Adam.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he countered. “I know you’ve been fucking him behind my back for years!” A hush came across the entire room.
Tears filled her eyes. “Luci, please don’t do this,” she begged.
“I didn’t do this. You did.” He grabbed Alastor’s hand. “I’m moving on too, to something much better.” He then pulled Alastor to him and kissed him.
Alastor froze. That hadn’t been what they’d discussed, but then he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Lucifer and pulled himself closer to him.
Lucifer pulled away and turned away. “We’re getting divorced. Papers will be delivered to you tomorrow. Later, bitch.” He grabbed Alastor’s hand tighter and made his way toward the door.
“Lucifer!” she called after him, but he ignored her as he and Alastor left.
Once outside, Lucifer laughed. “Did you see her face!?”
Alastor smiled. “I did indeed.”
Lucifer sobered up quickly. “I hope the kiss was okay,” he mentioned sheepishly. “I just got caught up in the moment.”
“I didn’t hate it,” Alastor replied. “And we did discuss dinner plans.”
Lucifer grinned. “Yeah, well, dinner is a far cry from a kiss.”
Alastor stepped closer and ran his fingers through Lucifer’s hair. “Well, why don’t I take you to dinner and we can see about doing more after that.”
Lucifer smiled. “Deal.”