1 - 20 of 664 Bookmarks by theexistentiallyqueer
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When Shane was born an ocean away from her homeland, Yuna Hollander, who did not pray, whispered into the world: Let every door open for him, my son.
OR: Yuna Hollander learns to appreciate Ilya Rozanov, one step at a time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,235
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 308
- Kudos:
- 4,490
- Bookmarks:
- 1,133
- Hits:
- 25,994
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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Bodies by a_good_soldier
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
26 Feb 2026
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a texting fic about falling in love when you are a closeted professional hockey player.
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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Ilya was good at noticing things about people, and he was good at understanding them. Shane was not. That was okay. Shane had developed his own way of getting to know Ilya. It involved a lot of inane questions and, more importantly, no longer involved condoms.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,689
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 258
- Kudos:
- 3,523
- Bookmarks:
- 1,192
- Hits:
- 26,556
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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hwa verse by walkingthroughwindows
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 40,494
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 74
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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here we are and what the hell are we going to do with it by walkingthroughwindows
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
30 Jan 2026
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“Shane.” Ilya takes Shane’s head in his hands, squeezes his cheeks so that Shane looks puffy, absurd. Beloved. “I am saying that to me, even though you are retired, you will always be No. 1 hockey player. Fuck Wayne Gretzky.”
That’s what does it, as Ilya knew it would. Shane rears back, spluttering, outraged, trying not to laugh.
“Oh, I have committed blasphemy now. They will take back my citizenship, big crime, very sad.”
Shane smoothes his hands along Ilya’s calves, rests his fingertips on Ilya’s ankles. “Fuck Wayne Gretzky,” he says. He looks like he can’t believe what he’s saying. Ilya wonders, distantly, if he can get it on tape to play back to himself when things feel particularly bleak. “We can live in exile together. I don’t care. You’re my, my best, my second best hockey player forever too.”
--
Shane decides he has to retire. Ilya, of course, will go with him.
Series
- Part 1 of hwa verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,018
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 303
- Kudos:
- 1,220
- Bookmarks:
- 344
- Hits:
- 14,159
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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a sound is still a sound around no one by dykeries
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
12 Feb 2026
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Shane lifts one eyelid again to look at Rozanov. His eyes are red-rimmed. Like he’s been crying. “Why…why aren’t you in Boston?”
Rozanov’s brow furrows. “Why would I be in Boston?”
“You, you’re captain. Raiders. Boston.”
The room is silent except for the beeping of monitors.
In 2023, Shane takes a bad hit on the ice. When he wakes up, the last thing he remembers is a tuna melt.
There’s a lot to get used to.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,230
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 1,942
- Kudos:
- 16,218
- Bookmarks:
- 4,388
- Hits:
- 208,374
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
10 Mar 2026
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It starts, as most things do, in the morning. Ilya is lying with his head in the crook of Shane’s shoulder, and Shane had really thought that he was asleep. He isn’t. He’s watching Shane, breathing deep and even, and Shane can picture his half closed eyes, his slack mouth.
He gives up his hiding place when he murmurs, accent thicker like it always is first thing after he wakes up, “What are you thinking about?”
Shane tenses, remembers it’s Ilya, relaxes. “You,” he says, simply, honestly.
(a litany of the many times ilya asks shane "what are you thinking about" and shane answers as honestly as he can)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
09 Mar 2026
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Summary
They brought Ilya a cot, and that was when he broke down. He was alone in the room, Shane asleep on the bed, and still he tried to cry quietly because Shane needed rest, that was what everyone kept saying, but eventually he ran out of air and had to take big, heaving breaths that tore their way out of his chest. Even though Ilya pressed his hands over his mouth, was almost choking on his fingers, Shane blinked awake.
It had been a normal morning. They were on the road, Anaheim the night before and now Houston. There was nothing fun to do in Houston except his husband, Ilya joked in the lobby while the keys were handed out. Hayes, who’d been given the room next to theirs, groaned and looked at the ceiling as if for divine help. But they’d gone to bed early, woken up with Ilya on his stomach and Shane sprawled across his back. Ilya had been so happy, waking up with Shane’s dead weight pressing him into the mattress, hand limp on the pillow. Ilya had kissed each one of his fingers, drawn the index into his mouth and sucked, woken Shane up like that.
And then later Shane was sprawled out across the ice, another kind of dead weight.
(a few years into their time on the cens, shane gets his bell rung again)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
09 Mar 2026
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They were only forty-five minutes late to the barbecue, all told, and yet Ilya was right. Bood called out, “Nice of you to show up, Cap!” from behind the grill. Ilya squeezed Shane’s forearm hard, once, and then headed over to talk to the host. Shane could’ve followed him, he knew, but he didn’t want to stand there awkwardly, feeling like he should say something but not sure when to cut in. On the Metros, everyone had known Shane was a little quiet in groups, knew the kinds of conversations he was comfortable having, when to ask his opinion. The Centaurs wanted something different from him, or maybe Shane wanted to be something different to them. Either way, he stood by the backyard gate while Ilya headed toward Bood, until Hayes called out from the fire, “Get over here, Hollander!”
(in other words: shane figures out how to be a teammate and someone's husband all at the same time. ilya lives several of the best days of his life all in a row. & everyone else has a great time as well)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
08 Mar 2026
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When I set out to write an article about the complicated history of bisexual men in sports I thought my research would take me all over the place, to different leagues, generations, cities. I was prepared to spend my time cobbling together stories to create a mosaic of an experience that not many people are willing to talk about. I thought I’d have to really get deep in the weeds with my editor to make this the kind of story that anyone was willing to print. Instead, I spent most of my time in Ottawa, of all places, because when it comes to bi athletes, all roads lead to Ilya Rozanov.
(ilya rozanov and the gay magazine profile he so dearly deserves)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane wrote in the car. He wrote on the couch of Ilya’s house in Ottawa and his own apartment in Montreal. Ilya often woke up to find him in bed with a pen in his hand, scribbling.
It wasn’t until they got to the cottage that Shane forgot to put one away, or throw it out, whatever he did with them when he’d used all the available space. Ilya found one on the kitchen table, a well-worn, lined bit of paper with deep creases just lying there as he was trying to clean up. He hesitated for just a second. If Shane wanted him to see them, wouldn’t he have said something by now? But also, Ilya was beginning to feel jealous of these papers, for knowing things about Shane that he didn’t.
Ilya unfolded it, holding it delicately between his fingertips. I want to be able to pick out produce at the grocery store, it read. I want to go for a run on the beach. I want to schedule our dentist’s appointments at the same time because it’s easier. I want to have a picture of him in my wallet. I want to kiss him at the farmer’s market in front of the stand with all the blueberries when he insists we get some because I like them.
(ilya wants to know what shane is writing down on his little notepad... obviously it is love)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
08 Mar 2026
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“When are you going to invite me to stay?”
Shane coughed. “I don’t know. I’ve been pretty busy with, uh… the charity, and the camp, and all the planning. It hasn’t been very relaxing.” It wasn’t a total lie. He had been working on the charity with Ilya and with his mom, and he was keeping pretty busy. It just wasn’t all work that he was busy with. A lot of it was he and Ilya making up for lost time, putting the shower pressure to good use, losing their clothes in every room and making a game out of finding them when it was time to do laundry. They had a score sheet. Shane was winning.
Rose seemed to accept that excuse, and she talked for a little bit longer until Shane maneuvered his way off the call. Then, and only then, did he turn to look at Ilya. “Sorry about that,” he said, but Ilya only shrugged.
“Is fine.” He put down his glass of water. “You should do it.”
Shane was distracted by the way Ilya reached around his waist to pull food out of the pan and put it, still hot, into his mouth. After a beat too long, he asked, “Do what?”
“Invite Rose Landry to the cottage,” Ilya said, like it was no big deal.
(what it says on the tin)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,133
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 197
- Kudos:
- 7,270
- Bookmarks:
- 1,035
- Hits:
- 51,506
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
The straps of Shane’s hockey bag dug into his shoulders as he stood by the welcome table and hoped that this year, it would be easier. It was reasonable, in his second year at camp, to expect that he wouldn’t be so caught up in everything that wasn't hockey, what to eat and where to go and who to talk to. Maybe this year, because he knew how everything would work, the routines and the expectations, he could actually make some friends.
Shane hugged his parents goodbye and assured them that he would be fine, just like he was last year—he hadn’t been fine, he’d been miserable, but there’d been hockey so it had been worth it—and then watched them drive away with only the smallest pit of fear in his stomach. He was hopeful. He was optimistic.
And then Shane locked eyes with Ilya, and something in that look told him that he was wrong, that he shouldn’t be sure of anything, that this person was going to divide his life into two pieces and he was helpless to stop it.
(or, after ilya's mother died, he was sent to live in canada with his aunt)
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
08 Mar 2026
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#goalbody by toomuchplor
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
17 Jan 2026
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Summary
"We put ourselves through it," Shane says, scraping plates. "Anything for hockey."
"Anything for the Cup," Yuna says. This makes sense to her as it's always made sense to Shane, and he's never been sorry to have a mom who doesn't fuss over his suffering for sport the way Jackie fusses over Hayden sometimes. He has always taken it for granted, maybe: that hockey comes first. That everything in the world should bend to the breaking point if it serves hockey.
How to bend without breaking.
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
07 Mar 2026
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Before It Gets Too Loud by cjr2
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
26 Feb 2026
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Ilya realized that he had two choices, and neither of them was very good. He could let his teammates believe he was a controlling asshole of a husband, or he could talk to them about things that Shane would probably prefer to keep to himself. He knew how private his husband was, how much time he’d spent cultivating a very particular image of himself to the world. An image of himself that only Ilya and a few other people were ever able to see behind.
or
Wyatt Hayes and the rest of the Ottawa Centaurs find out that Shane Hollander isn’t exactly what they’d imagined.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,429
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 146
- Kudos:
- 5,745
- Bookmarks:
- 896
- Hits:
- 39,843
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
06 Mar 2026
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Summary
A whump fanfiction series that is actually, secretly, a fix-it.
- Words:
- 99,453
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1,957
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
06 Mar 2026
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The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong) by pucksandpower
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
29 Dec 2025
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Summary
The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.
They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.
It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.
Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,813
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,026
- Kudos:
- 30,836
- Bookmarks:
- 6,822
- Hits:
- 221,503
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
01 Mar 2026
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Haydenov Phone Swap by icopythefax
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
08 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 61,104
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2,836
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
28 Feb 2026
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Building A Home by merakily
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
The ice is where Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov fall in love, but the (mostly Asian) grocery stores in Montreal are where they learn how to be in love with each other.
In which Ilya learns about mochi, Shane learns about Russian milk bags, and they both learn how to breathe. Together.
~~~
“I do not understand,” Ilya said, pushing their grocery cart down the aisles of a massive Chinese grocery store. “You act like alley murderer in Montreal Montreal but almost like normal boyfriend in not-Montreal Montreal.”“Hush.” Shane bumped his shoulder into Ilya as a warning. “Don’t say the b-word out loud.”
“What b-word? Boyfriend?”
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
27 Feb 2026
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Lessons in Two-Factor Authentication by merakily
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
Boodram: Rozy how the fuck do you get your google docs hacked
Dykstra: In his defense, who the fuck hacks into google docs?
Holmberg: Roz why are you using your work email for groceries????Or: Ilya Rozanov's gmail gets hacked in February 2021. To everyone's surprise, they find zero sex tapes, one Shane Hollander-shaped grocery list, and one list of travel notes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,515
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 233
- Kudos:
- 10,761
- Bookmarks:
- 1,280
- Hits:
- 52,695
Bookmarked by theexistentiallyqueer
27 Feb 2026