Chapter Text
Marinette loved peaceful days like this. Days with nice weather and no akumatized villains tearing through Paris, when she could relax in the sunlight, lying on her back and taking up almost the entirety of the park bench. Almost the entirety only because she was sharing one end with Alya, resting her head in her lap and punctuating her excited plans for the week with large gestures. The other girl was scrolling through something on her phone with one hand and absently stroking Marinette's hair with the other, all while staying fully engaged in her best friend's flurry of words.
“And I'm so excited for that fancy party on Friday night! Aren't you?” Marinette asked eagerly.
“Oh. I, uh…I’m not going to that,” Alya admitted. Marinette sat up so fast that she promptly fell off of the bench, much to her best friend’s amusement.
“What do you mean you’re not going?” she cried, scrambling to sit back on her heels and look up at Alya in confused distress.
“There’s a formal dress code, and I don’t have any formal clothes,” she explained with a shrug.
“Well, that’s easy to fix!” Marinette jumped to her feet. “Come on, we’re going shopping.”
“With what money?” Alya scoffed. Marinette frowned, considering the problem for a few seconds before she brightened.
“I have an idea,” she said, taking out her phone and scrolling through her contacts to call the person she had in mind. “Hi Zoé! So, about that party that’s coming up…”
“I can’t believe that worked,” Alya said, peering over Marinette’s shoulder at the blank check with the mayor’s signature. Their friend had dropped it off, accepting the thank-you hug from Marinette before rushing away, having promised to meet up with a few friends for a movie.
“Mayor Bourgeois has a soft spot for his stepdaughter,” Marinette replied with a shrug. “And Zoé knows we’re trustworthy, so she didn’t have a problem asking for it. Not that we should make a habit of this. But I mean, we do save his city all the time, so I think we’ve earned the right to use his money just a little bit…”
“You make a solid point,” Alya acknowledged with a chuckle. “Well, you’re the fashion expert, and the one who decided to take me shopping. What’s the plan?” she asked.
“Okay. We know Chloé’s going to be there, and any event Chloé attends has a really high chance of an akuma attack. That means you absolutely need something you can run in—I’d really rather you run away, but I know you better than that. Hmm…” Marinette put a hand to her chin and turned to face Alya, taking a step back to thoughtfully look up and down. “You know, I think you’d look really good in a suit, and that’d be way easier to move in than a dress. Less chance of it getting caught on things too. Unless you’re not okay with that? I know some girls think suits are ‘too masculine’ even when they’re well-fitted and made specifically for a feminine body…”
“Honestly, I’m all for women in suits. And weak for them,” Alya admitted with an easy smile.
Maybe I should wear a suit… Marinette felt her face turn red at her immediate line of thought.
“Uh, sorry. Was that weird to say?” Alya asked, a little nervously.
“What?” Marinette was confused for a moment before realizing her fluster had been misinterpreted as discomfort. “Oh! No, not at all, I promise!” she quickly assured her.
“You sure?” Alya raised an eyebrow.
“Positive,” Marinette confirmed with a soft smile, resting her hands on her friend’s shoulders. “Just because I’m surprised to hear it doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it. I’m glad you can be yourself with me.”
“You’re allowed to set boundaries, though. You know that, right?” Alya pressed. Marinette laughed and pulled her into a hug.
“If I ever feel like I need boundaries with you, I’ll tell you,” she promised. Even though you’re the one who’s likely to end up wanting boundaries between us…
“Okay,” Alya sighed, relaxing into the embrace. Marinette hesitated, then took a breath.
“If you’re worried about me overthinking everything you do and say because I’m straight, don’t be. Mainly because I trust you, but also because I’m not straight. I’m bi,” she admitted. Alya started to pull away in shock, trying to look her in the eye, but Marinette clutched at her waist and buried her face in her neck, keeping herself pressed against her friend. “If you look at me and ask me to say it again, I think I’ll die,” she mumbled. Alya laughed and patted her head.
“Okay, girl. And…thanks for telling me.”
“I should’ve said it when you did,” Marinette said apologetically. She’d wanted to, but she’d opened her mouth and the words had refused to come out. This was the first time she’d told anyone—Tikki and the other kwamis (minus Plagg, of course) had been witness to her late-night spiral over the realization, so they knew about it, but the only human Marinette had admitted her bisexuality to was herself.
“It’s fine, I get it. Coming out is hard.” Alya indulged her best friend for a few more seconds before gently separating from her. “Now, did you have a store in mind to take me to?”
“Uh—yep! I know the perfect place!” Marinette replied, remembering the situation. “Come on, let’s go!”
Two nights after the defeat of Reflekta and her abyssal sentimonster, Ladybug found herself pacing on Alya’s balcony. She didn’t think anyone else had heard Alya’s admission of guilt—hell, she didn’t even know if Alya herself remembered the ordeal—but the words had been replaying in her mind no matter how hard she tried to make them leave. They just didn’t make sense. She couldn’t leave it alone; she had to figure it out, and asking Alya was the only way to do that. But the thought of confronting Alya about it gave her pause. She didn’t want to bring up painful memories. Sure Alya had seemed fine when she and Nino broke up, but what if there were painful memories or hurt feelings she’d buried? What if their breakup had been less amicable than they let on? They were still close friends, but what had they said to each other in the heat of the moment? Ladybug didn’t want to hurt her by reopening any wounds. She wondered if maybe she should just go home and try once again to forget, but before she could move, the door opened and she froze.
“Come in already, before someone sees you and starts asking questions,” Alya said, grabbing Ladybug’s arm to pull her inside. “What’s going on, Marinette?” she asked when the door was closed and covered with the curtain.
“I, uh…Spots Off.”
“Tikki!” Trixx delightedly zoomed over to his friend, and Tikki ushered him away from the two girls. Marinette wavered.
“I, um…about what happened with Reflekta…you said something about having ‘used’ Nino, and I was just wondering…I mean, if you need to talk about anything, you know I’m here for you, right?” she offered. Alya sighed.
“It’s not as bad as I guess I made it sound. It’s not like I lied to him. I was very upfront about what our relationship was, right from the start. But, yeah, I guess it’s about time I told you why we broke up.” Alya retreated to her bed and sank down to the mattress. Marinette didn’t hesitate before following to sit beside her.
“You don’t have to,” she said despite her burning curiosity. Alya shrugged.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…hard. Like, some people have probably figured it out already—I’m pretty sure Zoé and Luka both had me pegged almost as soon as they met me, and I know Alix and Rose have their suspicions too—but saying it isn’t easy. Especially to the people who are most important.”
“Yeah?” Marinette knew she was important to Alya—she was her best friend and her favorite superhero, of course she was important—but it still made her heartbeat pick up to hear it aloud.
“I didn’t date Nino because I was into him. I love the guy, but not like that. I dated him trying to fall for him but knowing I probably wouldn’t. Or couldn’t. And I told him when we decided to give it a shot exactly what I was doing, and he was cool with it. He understood. That’s why we were never on bad terms, even when we broke up. He always knew the odds I’d fall for him were slim to none. He’s a great guy, it’s nothing about him personally. It’s just…I could never be into him…because he’s a he,” Alya confessed, ducking her head. Her last words were almost too quiet to hear, but Marinette still caught them. She stopped breathing.
“Oh,” she said. Her mind was somehow blank and racing at the same time. Alya was a lesbian. It was surreal. Her best friend, who she’d thought was straight—Marinette felt dizzy and a little faint. Alya, the girl who had left Marinette reeling with self-discovery, the crush even more unattainable than Adrien had been, wasn’t straight. Marinette’s heart pounded so thunderously in her ears that she wondered if Alya could hear it. She wasn’t straight. She wasn’t—
“Marinette, please say something. Anything,” Alya pleaded, and the thick emotions in her voice snapped Marinette back to reality. She realized she’d been sitting stock still and silent, and Alya was barely holding it together. Marinette jumped up to spin around and tackle Alya in a hug that bowled her over, the force knocking both of them far enough back on the bed that their heads almost hit the shelves behind it.
“I’m sorry! I was just surprised and trying to process and—it’s okay, I’m okay with it! I didn’t mean to scare you! I’m glad you told me, I’m sorry if you didn’t feel like you could! You’re my best friend no matter what, you’re amazing, I’m happy you felt safe enough to tell me! Thank you for trusting me, I’m here for you,” she rambled. Alya let out a relieved laugh and wrapped her arms around Marinette’s waist.
“Thank you,” she breathed. Marinette opened her mouth to offer her own confession. It was just two short words—I’m bi—but they lodged in her throat and wouldn’t come out. She couldn’t say it. What if Alya thought she was trying to come onto her, and it made everything awkward between them? What if it ruined this tender moment? What if, what if, what if…but she wanted to say it. She needed to say it. She had to prove she understood. She needed Alya to know—she wanted her to know—she desperately tried to speak but the words just wouldn’t come. Even here in the safety of Alya’s arms, in the seclusion of her bedroom, with Tikki and Trixx too far away to share in their moment of raw honesty…it was too soon, too sudden, too fast. She wasn’t prepared. She was still in shock from Alya’s confession. She tried and tried, forced her voice to work.
“Anytime,” was all that came out. Marinette closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She’d tell her, she promised herself, but not tonight.
“Stay with me for a while?” Alya requested. Marinette smiled and shifted to tuck her head under Alya’s chin.
“You didn’t even need to ask.”
The shop was fairly large but never busy, which was part of why Marinette liked it. Today, the only person there was the woman at the counter, who was currently invested in a book. The clothes were expensive, so Marinette rarely made any purchases, but she’d gotten inspiration from browsing the selection more than a few times, so she knew her way around. She grabbed Alya’s hand to drag her to the right section.
“Leave this to me,” she said, an outfit already in mind. She let go of her best friend (a pity, really) to carefully sift through the hangers, flitting around between the racks with purpose. She knew Alya’s size, so there was no need to ask as she found what she was looking for: black dress pants that fit closely but left enough slack at the knee for easy movement and fell a bit looser in the calves; a well-fitted black blazer with notched lapels, with two black buttons to fasten it; a crisp white button-up shirt; and a tie that blazed in a fiery scarlet hue somewhere between the colors of Rena Rouge and Ladybug. When she returned to Alya with the clothes draped over one arm, the girl seemed a little apprehensive.
“There are some nice colored ones over there. Black isn’t really my color, you know? So let’s—”
“I’m an expert, Alya. This will be perfect!” Marinette gleefully took her hand again to drag her to the empty dressing rooms, down their own hallway in the back of the store.
“Marinette, I really don’t think—”
“Just put it on!” Marinette pulled her in front of one of the rooms, shoved the clothes into her arms, and moved behind her to put both hands on her back. “You’ll look amazing, I promise!” She pushed her in and pulled the door closed. After a few seconds, she heard a sigh and the click of the lock. “Good, now hurry up so I can see it!” She grinned and leaned against the wall, unable to stop fidgeting.
“You’re really excited about this, huh?” Tikki flew up to speak softly enough that Alya wouldn’t hear, a smile on her face.
“Of course I am!” Marinette whispered back eagerly.
“Maybe Alya isn’t the only one with a thing for women in suits,” the kwami teased with a giggle. Marinette blushed.
“Maybe,” she conceded. “I never really thought about it.”
“Well, you at least have a thing for Alya in a suit. And all the time, in literally anything,” Tikki commented. Marinette’s red face deepened to crimson and Tikki giggled again. “Oh, maybe you should wear a suit too!”
“I’m seriously considering it,” Marinette admitted. The two of them fell silent, and Marinette slipped into daydreams until Tikki nudged her into reality again.
“She’s taking a really long time,” the kwami commented. Marinette frowned.
“Yeah…” she agreed and stepped up to the door. “Alya?” She knocked lightly. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine, just fine,” Alya replied tensely.
“You don’t sound fine…”
“It doesn’t fit. Let’s try something else.”
“I know that’s the right size. Something else is wrong, I can tell. Let me in,” Marinette said.
“No,” Alya refused. Marinette sighed.
“I’m coming in. Tikki, unlock the door for me please,” she requested, and the kwami phased through the door. As soon as she heard the latch click, Marinette opened the door. Alya was sitting on the dressing room’s chair with her head in her hands, the clothes hanging untouched on one of the hooks.
“I just…I have a headache, okay?”
“She doesn’t actually have a headache,” Trixx declared, flying over to Marinette.
“Traitor,” Alya accused weakly. Marinette quietly closed and locked the door.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. Alya sighed.
“I can’t wear black,” she confessed. “I haven’t been able to for a long time now.”
“Why not?” Marinette dropped to one knee in front of her and Alya hesitantly met her eyes, her own red and wet with unshed tears. “Talk to me. Please.”
“It’s because…whenever I do…I always see her in the mirror. Me. Lady Wifi. And I don’t want everyone else to see that too.”
“Alya…why didn’t you tell me?” Marinette asked softly.
“I don’t know. I guess I was embarrassed about how my akumatization was still affecting me,” Alya explained with a shrug. “It seemed silly.”
“It’s not silly, and I’m glad you told me. And as much as part of me is saying ‘oh let’s find something else for you to wear’ right now, that’s not what we’re going to do. You already rejected Lady Wifi, so now we’re going to take back the control she still has over you,” Marinette declared firmly, taking Alya’s hands.
“Only if you promise to tell me the truth, about whether I look like her or not,” she conceded.
“I promise!” Marinette stood and pulled her to her feet.
“That also goes for you two,” Alya added, looking between the hovering kwamis.
“I’d never lie to you,” Trixx promised, sounding offended at the very idea.
“I promise to be honest too!” Tikki agreed. When Alya nodded in consent, Marinette let go of her hands and turned to leave.
“Okay. I’ll—” She reached for the door only to freeze when Alya grabbed her wrist.
“Can you stay? Otherwise I might lose my nerve.”
“Of course,” Marinette agreed immediately, looking over her shoulder with a smile. “Just tell me when you’re done.”
“Thanks, girl. You’re the best,” Alya said, smiling back and letting go of Marinette’s wrist. The other girl faced away from both her friend and the mirror.
I can’t believe I didn’t notice she was still being haunted by her time as Lady Wifi…do other people have the same kind of lasting mental fallout from being akumatized too? Hmm…I wonder…
“You can look now,” Alya said hesitantly, interrupting Marinette’s musings about whether or not Ladybug would be able to convince the city to offer free mental health services to Shadow Moth’s victims. She turned around and immediately knew she had to divert a solid amount of focus to keeping her mouth from falling open. Whether or not she managed it, she had no idea. She was a little preoccupied.
Alya hadn’t fastened the blazer or bothered with the tie, but Marinette already knew she’d both succeeded in choosing an outfit for her and made a horrible mistake by doing so, because she’d caused her own brain to promptly short-circuit, crash, and reboot several times in quick succession. She’d always known Alya was beautiful, and she’d been especially aware of that fact recently, but wow, okay, Tikki had absolutely been right. Marinette very much had a thing for Alya in a suit.
“You don’t look like Lady Wifi to me!” Trixx declared.
“Me either!” Tikki agreed.
“Marinette? What about you?” Alya prompted when she found herself too speechless to give her opinion without the direct request for it. She took a deep breath to steady herself before speaking.
“I don’t see Lady Wifi. I see Alya Césaire, my best friend. And she’s beautiful,” she said. She took the tie from its hook and stepped up to Alya, slipping one arm behind her neck to thread the tie under her shirt collar. She adjusted the ends, pulling a bit too hard and making the other girl stumble a half-step closer. “You’re not Lady Wifi,” she continued, expertly working to craft a flawless Carnation Knot. “You’re Alya, you’re Rena Rouge, you’re my best friend, you’re Trixx’s holder, you’re the Ladyblogger…you’re so many incredible things.” Marinette finished her knot and met Alya’s wide eyes. “You’re amazing, Alya,” she said softly, her hands lingering against her friend’s collarbone. “And you shouldn’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.”
For a long moment, the world seemed to hold its breath as both girls stayed locked in place, the almost nonexistent space between them charged with energy. It was surreal, like a dream, and Marinette felt something like magnetism pulling at her, urging her to break from her trancelike state enough to lean up and…
Before she could move a muscle, the sound of the store’s air conditioner kicking on shattered the atmosphere. Marinette quickly stepped back, hiding her embarrassment with a smile. Alya ducked her head to button her blazer, her trembling fingers fumbling with the task.
(Unnoticed by either, Tikki and Trixx exchanged an exasperated look before turning in unison to glare at the vent that had ruined what both long-suffering kwamis had hoped would be the resolution of all the obvious tension between their tragically oblivious holders.)
“Damn, you were right…” Alya commented when she turned to look in the mirror. “I look great.”
What an understatement, Marinette thought numbly, staring at the reflection. Sure enough, the suit was a perfect fit, hugging all the right places to almost send her into a daze.
“It hides your Miraculous perfectly,” she said to ground herself, “and your phone will easily fit in your pocket. Oh, and I can add an inside pocket in the blazer for Trixx! I’ll put it near the hem, since that’s where it has the loosest fit. That way no one will notice him.”
“Good idea,” Alya agreed. She unbuttoned her blazer and turned back to Marinette. “Do you mind getting this?” She gestured to her tie. “I have a feeling I’d just end up, like…strangling myself or something if I try to undo it on my own. I have no idea how you even managed to make it look like this.”
“I’m pretty well-versed in knots,” Marinette said with a shrug, careful to keep a bit of space between them this time while she undid the tie. “When I don’t have any projects but I need to do something with my hands, it’s nice to find a YouTube tutorial on some fancy necktie knot and practice until I can do it perfectly.”
“I get that,” Alya acknowledged as Marinette hung the tie on a hook.
“Now hurry up and get changed—we still have to find you some nice dress shoes before we check out,” the smaller girl said, slipping out of the room and pulling the door shut. No longer in the enclosed space with her unfairly attractive best friend, she immediately felt a few degrees cooler.
“This place has shoes too?” Alya asked. Marinette heard the lock click.
“Of course. Why do you think I only asked Zoé for one check?”
The cashier raised an eyebrow when two teenagers distinctly unrelated to the Bourgeois family paid with a check signed by the mayor but didn’t question it, which was just as well, because Marinette didn’t want to have to interrupt Zoé’s movie to have her verify that it was given and not stolen. They left with two bags on Marinette’s arm—one for the clothes, and one for the black shoes that both girls agreed were suitably comfortable and easy to run in.
“I’ll keep everything at my place,” Marinette offered. “That way I can sew that pocket when I get the chance. You can just come over on Friday to get ready.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Alya agreed. The faint sound of screams reached them and they exchanged a glance.
“Uh…would you mind keeping that under control while I drop this off at home, Rena Rouge?” Marinette asked.
“Not a problem,” Alya said with a wink. “See you in a bit, Ladybug.”