BlueExcalibur
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Talk to Me (But Maybe Use Different Words) by pagination
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
12 May 2016
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Summary
Clint Barton's To Do list
1. Buy more undies.
2. 'Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.' Try line out on Phil.
3. Look for other sock. Maybe left in bodega.
4. 'Your eyes are like spanners. Whenever I see them, my nuts tighten.' Tony = hilarious. Try on Phil.
5. Feed dog.
6. 'I'm no weatherman, but you should expect eight inches tonight.' Don't try on Phil yet.
7. Measure dick. Use ruler this time instead of fruit.
8. Throw out the yogurt container in the fridge. Do not open first.Phil Coulson's To Do list:
1. Request new psych eval for Barton.
2. Buy butter.Series
- Part 1 of Words are Hard
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,364
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 350
- Kudos:
- 2,472
- Bookmarks:
- 571
- Hits:
- 30,636
Bookmarked by BlueExcalibur
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
Loki doesn't know why he feels the urge to go to Midgard, but it's strong enough that he, when a stranger offers him free passage in exchange for his pretending to be lost Prince Loki of Asgard, doesn't hesitate for long.
He really has no idea how much his life is going to change.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,329
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 282
- Kudos:
- 1,689
- Bookmarks:
- 517
- Hits:
- 31,904
Bookmarked by BlueExcalibur
16 Feb 2026
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Take a Picture, it'll Last Longer by HiIAmSociallyAwkwardButHereIAm
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Black Widow (Movie 2021), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
06 Jan 2024
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When Natasha Romanoff was taken into SHIELD custody, she expected the imprisonment and the reprogramming. What she wasn't expecting was the need to undergo a sixth-month training course at the SHIELD Academy of Operations. What she wasn't expecting was to be paired up with a woman with dark hair and icy eyes. She never once thought that transitioning to SHIELD would be easy, but Maria Hill certainly didn't make it any easier. Maybe she ought to run. That would be the smart thing to do.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 96,105
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Comments:
- 567
- Kudos:
- 1,532
- Bookmarks:
- 243
- Hits:
- 35,977
Bookmarked by BlueExcalibur
09 Jan 2026
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Living Someone Else's Life by andacus
Fandoms: The Avengers (2012), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Thor (Movies)
13 Sep 2019
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Summary
Wherein Darcy is just trying to live her life in the midst of all this chaos (And, boy, is there ever chaos.) but the universe... well, the universe is one twisted bitch.
Or the one where Darcy's mother chooses the very worst time to have a heart to heart about her father.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,903
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 522
- Kudos:
- 3,815
- Bookmarks:
- 817
- Hits:
- 74,908
Bookmarked by BlueExcalibur
23 Dec 2025
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Summary
No one ever promised Technoblade safety before.
Plenty of people have offered him plenty of things, but they were always presented as deals. Techno gives himself to them in exchange for something: renown, his life, an escape route off a dying planet. It all seems the same after enough time, and this latest server is no different. The revolution that was supposed to come of it never did.
Techno is tired and done with it all. Frankly, he doesn't even care if there's an age minimum for retiring. If he wants safety, he obviously has to make it for himself.
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Techno has seen too much, and done far more, in his very short life. When he lands on Hermitcraft by accident, he swears it'll be nothing more than a bump on his road away from people and the trouble they bring.
But the Hermits may just have something more to offer him, something no one else ever could...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 137,415
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 495
- Kudos:
- 1,833
- Bookmarks:
- 368
- Hits:
- 44,890
Bookmarked by BlueExcalibur
19 Dec 2025